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(37 Posts)
helenlouisey Mon 07-Jul-14 20:06:28

Does anyone know much about this website? I went away for the night last weekend and just seen an email in my hubby's deleted email box titled 'activate your account on Naughtydate!'

Now usually I would have thought this was just spam however looked at the email and in it it has his email address and his password listed and it's the password he generally uses for websites / Facebook etc. there's no way the website could have known this unless he'd put it in himself?

I tried to log on but it looks like he didn't go through and activate the account, maybe he had second thoughts who knows, but looks like he did sign up in the first place!

What should I do ?????


ImperialBlether Mon 07-Jul-14 20:12:13

It states his password in the email? There's no way they could know that.

What's he like normally? How is your relationship?

FolkGirl Mon 07-Jul-14 20:14:52

I've never heard of this website before, but it doesn't take a genius to work out what it is...

I'm so sorry, you've found this.

I never know what to suggest when I read a post like yours. Largely because I found something similar on my exH's laptop history (I'd asked him if I could use it and when I went to clear my own history, saw this site listed in the history).

I emailed him a link to the website and phoned him at work. He refused to answer the phone and a colleague answered it for him and said he was in the toilet.

I texted him and said if he didn't answer the next time I called, I'd tell his colleague exactly why I was calling.

He answered.

He lied. He said it was a pop up. When I told him about the login pages, he said it was a pop up he'd been curious about but hadn't done anything more than log in. When I told him I could see he'd been looking at profiles and messaging women, he told me it was a mistake...

I told him to pack a bag that night. Then I told everyone why I'd kicked him out.

Then I discovered he'd been having an affair with a woman at work...

So I have no idea what you should do. But that's what I did. And 20 months later, I couldn't be happier.

You will have all the support you need here, so keep posting. And you will be ok, whatever you decide to do, so long as you are true and kind to yourself.


helenlouisey Mon 07-Jul-14 20:15:37

Yes it states his password in the email !

He almost had an affair two years ago, I found emails and texts before it developed and we went to relationship counselling. Therefore I'm very suspicious and would never be surprised if he did have an affair or something going on behind my back .

Would you confront him?

helenlouisey Mon 07-Jul-14 20:19:07

Folk girl I'm really sorry to hear that but glad you've never been happier.

I think I'm going to have to confront him. Even if he didn't activate the account he went as far as giving them an email address and password he was definitely curious at the very least- is this normal?

FolkGirl Mon 07-Jul-14 20:22:49

I don't know. Is it normal? There seems to be an awful lot of it about...

But it's not acceptable. Or tolerable. Not to me at least. Some people seem to be able to put it in the 'No Harm Done' box. But I couldn't.

And especially not with someone who has 'almost had an affair' previously.

But that's me...

hamptoncourt Mon 07-Jul-14 20:46:21

No I wouldn't confront him. You don't sound stupid. You know what this is.

I would just tell him I had gone off him and it was over.

rosepetalsoup Mon 07-Jul-14 20:49:21

No it's not normal -- my DH can be an arse in lots of ways but would never do that. I'm shocked for you, FolkGirl and OP. I like hamptoncourt's idea.

What a tosser!

helenlouisey Mon 07-Jul-14 20:49:30

We have two young children and have been together nearly 20 years, it's a lot to throw away !

rosepetalsoup Mon 07-Jul-14 20:50:37

Also more broadly, even if you condoned infidelity, isn't he a bit sad to spend the night you go away browsing desperate pick-up sites rather than going out with mates / watching a film / having a nice bath etc?

rosepetalsoup Mon 07-Jul-14 20:51:19

Oh dear - assumed you were a fairly new couple. What the hell is he doing? Perhaps he's having a mid life crisis and needs to sort himself out and reform to make it up to you.

hamptoncourt Mon 07-Jul-14 20:52:13

bloody hell!! 20 years???

You still know what this is but I hold your hand.

helenlouisey Mon 07-Jul-14 20:53:22

Yes well mid life / post baby crisis was what I assumed when this almost affair happened two years ago !

helenlouisey Mon 07-Jul-14 20:55:49

Yes hamptoncourt nearly 20 years !!!

He's out mowing the grass so will speak to him when he comes in.

Problem is although he's a pretty crap husband he's an amazing Dad, really couldn't ask for a better father to my children !

TalisaMaegyr Mon 07-Jul-14 20:56:09

I don't know how you can live like this. What are you going to do?

TalisaMaegyr Mon 07-Jul-14 20:57:14

Ah sorry, cross posted.

Good luck. Go with your gut and don't be taken for a fool thanks

cariad34 Mon 07-Jul-14 21:02:00

If you google you get lots of hits stating that it isn't a genuine dating site but a scam. Is it possible that what you've found is a phishing email?

FolkGirl Mon 07-Jul-14 21:07:10

rose Just be careful. Before I found out, I used to read the threads on this board and thank my lucky stars that I was married to him. I mean, he wasn't perfect, and could definitely be an arse, but this? No way. I'd have staked anything you asked me to on it.

I did not see it coming. Not in a million years. And even now, I have trouble reconcilling what he did with him. He didn't ever flirt, was a 'family man, abhorred my mother's partner for 'looking at' porn, never so much as did a double take at a woman on the street... if there was one thing he'd never do, it was cheat. Until he did it.

I'm not saying your husband will, and I certainly hope he doesn't/wouldn't! But I've learned my lesson on that one, and never again will I think I've met someone who wouldn't do that...

helen you haven't thrown anything away... 20 years was also a long time for him to risk by doing this. I was with my exH for 13 years and we were best friends for 9 years before that, since we were at school.

Didn't stop him though...

And the children are ok, too.

rosepetalsoup Mon 07-Jul-14 21:09:35

I do see that Folk I'm highly suspicious by nature and do keep a fairly watchful eye on my husband... I know nobody's immune. Have you met someone nicer since? I hope you have or that you do.

FolkGirl Mon 07-Jul-14 21:12:49

rose I have met someone. He seems to be much, much nicer... I'm still highly suspicious though.

He got a new phone today. A smart phone. I'm convinced he's currently at home signing up to Tinder or something.

But that's the nature of the beast when someone destroys your trust and confidence sad

helenlouisey Mon 07-Jul-14 21:12:57

There does seem to be a lot on the web about it possibly not being a legit website and conning people out of money, also seems to be a USA website !

I just don't see how they could have got hold of his normal password ?

Maybe he hadn't realised it wasn't a UK website till the email came through which us why he didn't activate the account.

rosepetalsoup Mon 07-Jul-14 21:14:02

Hurray FolkGirl! Try not to be too suspicious - I'm glad for you.

OP looks like there's some home it could have been spam! I hope so!

rosepetalsoup Mon 07-Jul-14 21:14:55

Spam can get hold of your passwords - it just means his other accounts will have been hacked!

FolkGirl Mon 07-Jul-14 21:16:17

Thanks, Rose and, sadly, an email no longer means he's at home...

rosepetalsoup Mon 07-Jul-14 21:17:36

Yes, I bloody hate smartphones!

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