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Anyone ever get back together with their first love after years and years apart?

(66 Posts)
Needanewkitchen Thu 12-Jun-14 08:33:43

I gave a possible opportunity to get back in contact with my first love after nearly 20 years. I'm separated with 2 young dc, he's currently single.

I've thought of him often, and would describe as my most significant ex, the one I loved the most. I have no idea how he feels smile

I'll decide what to do eventually, but just curious if there is anyone out there who did end up back with their first love, how it happened and if it worked out.....

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 12-Jun-14 08:35:50

I did for a while. It was nice and there was a lot of familiarity and old memories but 30 years of 'life' in between meant we had different outlooks. I also remembered why I wasn't too bothered when we originally broke up. smile

Jinglebellsarecoming Thu 12-Jun-14 08:36:31

Only in my dreams! And on Facebook! I would only do it if I could cope with the reality that he might of changed, the glasses especially over time might be rather rose tinted or he rejects me and I still love him

PacificDogwood Thu 12-Jun-14 08:42:09

My brother got married to his first love after 20+ years apart.
He was very much in love and carried a torch for her all those years.
They have been married for 7 years and have a DD together.

So far, so good.

Obviously they were/are still the same people they were as teenagers when they dated at school and none of the problems they had then had gone away (she has rather complex MH problems). My DB is a romantic in that he truly believes/d that 'true love conquers all' and that his love for her would somehow magically cure her. Not so. Life has been difficult for them both.

I suppose what I am saying, I cannot see the harm in getting back in touch, but don't try and relive some romanticised past that you might have fond memories of.

Good luck, nothing ventured, nothing gained, an'all that smile.

Zamboni Thu 12-Jun-14 08:47:34

I did. DH was my first boyfriend when I was 15/16 and he was 17/18. We dated for about 6 months and parted on good terms.

We were sporadically in touch and then got together 10 years later. Now been married for 5.

CatThiefKeith Thu 12-Jun-14 09:17:10

I did, after 16 years. Whirlwind romance, moved in together, went rapidly downhill after that.

Turned out he did me a massive favour dumping me the first time round. He was seriously dark. Lots of gas lighting, emotional cruelty and sexual bullying.

I moved out one day while he was at worm and changed all my contact details in the end.

Chances are thin here, i was about ten when he was my "first love" and he seems quite happy with his boyfriend grin

Wishyouwould Thu 12-Jun-14 09:27:36

My friend did and like Cat it ended badly.

I am back in touch with my first love after he contacted me when I separated from my ex. I'd describe us as good friends but definitely no physical attraction there anymore.

EBearhug Thu 12-Jun-14 09:28:08

Mine was here at the weekend, having not seen him for over a decade. He'd drive me up the wall to live with (and probably vice versa), but it was great to see him and catch up. He's still the same, just a little greyer round the edges. (I'm a bit greyer and fatter and a lot less fit.) I was 9 when I first met him (don't think he noticed me at that point) - that's 31 years. Blimey.

Actifizz Thu 12-Jun-14 09:35:52

I met mine again after splitting with my exh.

Initially it was amazing. But we were poles apart really. He had no kids, holidays abroad 5 times acyear, travels extensively for work and couldn't understand why I couldn't just drop the kids and fly to Singapore for 5 days hmm

I've tucked him safely back in the little box in my head grin

kittycat5 Thu 12-Jun-14 13:25:28

Idid.we got married...I was very happy (I thought we both were ) thetheater 6 years together he walked out saying he didn't love me...I think he was only ever in love with the romance of it not with me....It has just about destroyed me.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Thu 12-Jun-14 13:28:41

Me & DH. He wasn't my first boyfriend, but we were quite serious when I was 18 and he was 21. We went our separate ways then got back together 10 years later. That was 16 years ago smile

IWalkInTheSun Thu 12-Jun-14 13:30:30

My mum did, or better I did it for her. Her uni love. They had not seen eachother for 40 years.

They are so in loven now and have a great relationship.

Go on do it, what have you got to lose

Marrow Thu 12-Jun-14 13:33:32

My sister did. She was due to be getting married to someone else but called the wedding off five days before the day as she said she just realised that she couldn't bear thinking that she would be stuck with him for the rest of her life! About three weeks later I bumped into her very first boyfriend that she had been with for a couple of years from the age of 14. He asked after her and asked me to pass his number on to her. She called him and the rest is history. They now have four children and have been married for 16 years!

mamas12 Thu 12-Jun-14 18:02:18

Me!
I posted at the time on whether or not to go on a date with him, I did and ten months later we're still seeing each other.
We live two hours apart and see each other practically every weekend and FaceTime every day it's frustrating we are so far apart
It's weird and strange and exciting and comfortable and new!
We have a shared history but big gaps to fill in, I still feel we are still getting to know each other but at the same time 'know' him
Hey do it and then make your mind up

moolady1977 Sat 14-Jun-14 11:16:18

my mum got back in touch with her first love after 40+ yrs they are now married and really happy together

akaWisey Sat 14-Jun-14 20:21:54

Yes, my ex husband and his first love are together and very happy by all accounts.

i bumped into my first love about 18 years ago in Debenhams. He really was my first experience of feelings of any depth and he was HOT at 16.

At 40 odd - not so hot grin but I still felt a bit wobbly in my tummy!

MadameJosephine Sat 14-Jun-14 20:27:46

Just after I got divorced I bumped into my very first ever boyfriend and he just happened to be single too so we had a very lovely fling which lasted a few months and ended amicably. It did wonders for my self esteem and I'll always have fond memories of him

WanttogotoDisney Sat 14-Jun-14 23:56:36

When I was a kid our parents took us on holiday and we bumped into my mum's ex-bf (from when she was 16 and he was18) and his kids. My parents were in their 40s at the time. A few years later my parents got divorced and a few years after that my mum got together with the ex-bf. They have been married for the past 10 years.

jessica361 Mon 14-Dec-15 03:35:10

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jessica361 Mon 14-Dec-15 07:12:52

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Euphemia Mon 14-Dec-15 07:16:44

My friend broke up her marriage to do just that, and the OM broke up his. sad

You're not in the same position, so go for it, if it feels right!

jessica361 Mon 14-Dec-15 07:21:52

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ScrambledEggAndToast Mon 14-Dec-15 07:25:02

Me me me!!!! I went out with DP for 2 years between 16 and 18 but finished with him as I was going to uni. We always remained friends though and earlier this year (14 years later) we got back together. We are now living together and planning to get married gringringrin

Whenischristmas Mon 14-Dec-15 07:45:11

Zombie thread!!!

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