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Dating thread 76

(1000 Posts)
LoisPuddingLane Wed 11-Jun-14 10:57:16

As we were saying...

LoisPuddingLane Wed 11-Jun-14 10:58:00

Santaclaws asked:

LoisPuddingLane Wed 11-Jun-14 10:58:00

Santaclaws asked:

LoisPuddingLane Wed 11-Jun-14 10:58:39

Are you going to see him again lois ?
Where did you meet him? Was it online?

Online yes. Don't know if I'll see him again. I'm a bit of a fatty and despite having a nice face and decent personality, being a bit of a fatty can be a dealbreaker.

Blossomflowers Wed 11-Jun-14 11:03:43

Hello can I join again, been off the thread for a couple of months as stupidly thought I might have had something going on with X, he suddenly got interested in me again when he found I am been OLD. So back to drawing board, he has made me feel quite negative about it all said the only reason go on these are for sex and that I am pathetic. Hope to hear some success stories please

Santaclaws Wed 11-Jun-14 11:28:41

Hi Blossom, well mine is a success story in a way, despite what I just wrote on the last thread. So, no not everyone is on there looking for sex. The man I'm seeing is fantastic so far in every way aside from living in parents house. Please don't feel negative you are certainly not pathetic

Blossomflowers Wed 11-Jun-14 11:52:30

Thanks santa I have been talking to a lovely man and he is local which is amazing as I am very rural and normally people live miles away, have spoken on the phone and got on extremely well, not sure about his looks though, but I know I should keep an open mind. XP calls them Shag sites. Most men I see are such a long was away, just think this would cause such a huge effort and unworkable, am looking at this in the wrong way?

Santaclaws Wed 11-Jun-14 12:15:45

blossom I live in a fairly rural location nearest city or large town 20 miles away. I definately wouldn't think of seeing anyone further away than that because I want a relationship where I can see somebody regularly, but it depends what your looking for. As far as looks go, again the man I'm seeing certainly wasn't my type or really in any way what I thought good looking but he's grown on me and I now find him attractive whilst at the same time he not good looking iyswim.

Blossomflowers Wed 11-Jun-14 12:20:20

I don't mean to sound shallow as you say looks do grow on you. I was looking at my X the other day and thinking if he was OLD would I contact him, probably now. I am late 40's so other things should be more important, the if honest physical attraction is important. x

Blossomflowers Wed 11-Jun-14 12:23:21

I mean't probably not, duh!

Santaclaws Wed 11-Jun-14 12:27:04

You don't sound shallow, it's perfectly normal and reasonable. I'm also late forties and yes attraction is important. I constantly questioned myself at the start when seeing this man especially as with my ex the attraction was intense even at the end. What I'm saying is it can grow if given a little time, it has with me. So might be worth just seeing him a couple of times

LoisPuddingLane Wed 11-Jun-14 12:33:07

I don't think looks are important but attraction is. I've been attracted to some pretty odd looking people - it's the chemistry that counts.

Blossomflowers Wed 11-Jun-14 12:47:26

Yes lois that does make sense. Well have agreed to meet him tonight after work. only been chatting since Monday but did not to invest too much time if there is no spark there, if not move on. My X has done a real number on me past couple of months. Time to pick my self up and get on with life. Don't want to end a mad old lady living with loads of cats.

Blossomflowers Wed 11-Jun-14 12:54:10

Oh Santa X was good looking but years of alcohol and drug abuse have taken their toll. When the looks have gone very little else to offer.

LoisPuddingLane Wed 11-Jun-14 12:57:41

I'd rather have an ugly sod who was lovely and tender and sexy.

Blossomflowers Wed 11-Jun-14 13:16:20

Feeling very nervous, not been on a date for ages. Just meeting in a local pub after work, jeans appropriate?

LoisPuddingLane Wed 11-Jun-14 13:18:32

Yeah - jeans and a nice top. smile

Santaclaws Wed 11-Jun-14 13:37:57

Yes lois that's the word I should have used, chemistry. Mind you I didn't feel chemistry of a sexual nature when I met my man more like a warm, happy feeling. Now though I do find him physically attractive

blossom hope all goes well tonight and have a great time and remember men get nervous too. All my dates have admitted this to me afterwards

Blossomflowers Wed 11-Jun-14 13:41:05

Funnily enough he has sent me several texts today and get the feeling he is very nervous, oh well deep breath. I really got into the swing of things before but now I feel back to square one. I will update later.

LoisPuddingLane Wed 11-Jun-14 13:48:28

Sometimes I don't "get" the chemistry until someone touches or kisses me. It's an unpredictable thing.

Pinklaydee1302 Wed 11-Jun-14 19:06:53

Can I join ladies? I met my guy for second time today, although I like him I'm not feeling the spark yet. We going out on third date Friday for drinks so hoping I may start to feel more when we both more relaxed.

Trouble is I still think of my ex, only with him 3 months but I fell for him big style. Didn't fancy him that much at first but I did have that 'warm happy feeling' one of you described

steelchic Wed 11-Jun-14 19:11:13

Bloody hell ! I've went back on to Match but haven't paid a subscription so can't see who has looked at my profile or respond / get in touch with anyone. I just wanted to see if anyone caught my eye. Now I'm 51 and without blowing my own trumpet, I do look younger. The guys that catch my eye are all early to mid 40's but I've put on my profile that I'm interested in 45/55 years. The guy I was seeing up until last week was 55 and I think that was an ok age gap. So why oh why have I had two views this evening one 68 and one 69 ? sad So fed up to think this time last week I was having a lovely evening with my now ex. I think the reason I was so upset about him finishing it was the thought of doing OLD again, can't help thinking he'll probably be out with his new GF tonight. I need to stop wallowing in self pity but I miss him sad

FolkGirl Wed 11-Jun-14 19:18:03

Hi Blossom. I would say welcome back... but I suppose you'd rather not be here really.

Santaclaws Wed 11-Jun-14 19:49:31

Hi steelchic it can be quite disheartening can't it this online dating. I found it quite wearing at times but I think its true what most people say, that it's a numbers game. What happened with the last guy you were seeing if you don't mind me asking?

Hi Folk (waves) hope all is well with you. Are you still seeing your man?

I'm having loads of wobbles currently over Bricky. I keep think he's losing interest and with good reason because I've been quite snappy. Most of the time we get on well but sometimes I worry about things. Like him living at parents house and I think WHY would you? Does he just avoid any responsibility? Yet he is such a nice person and easy to get on with that I've kept seeing him.

steelchic Wed 11-Jun-14 20:14:02

Hi Santaclaws, of course I don't mind you asking smile We met via Match, he was my first date after my marriage broke up. I was sooo nervous as it had been a long time. I really liked him but I wasn't attracted to him. Very slow start but around Christmas time we started seeing each other on a more regular basis, although usually just one per week due to his work commitments. I really enjoyed his company and he mine, always texting etc. He said from the beginning he didn't want commitment as he is in the middle of a horrible separation from his ex partner. But we were exclusive I agreed to this , putting no pressure on him. Both of us have got really close to one another. Went out last week no clue anything was wrong. He contacted me the next day to say that there was a major problem for our relationship. Someone from his student days had got in touch. They were very close back in the day, like soul mates. They never got together as one or both of them had always been in a relationship. So now her marriage has broken up and they are keen to start a relationship sad. He still wants us to be friends, says he still cares deeply for me but if he doesn't make a go of it with this woman he will always wonder what if. So in away I respect his honesty, he's ended it with me before he starts an intimate relationship with her. ( my ex h just set up a new life with his gf while still living with me and didn't have the balls to tell me he was leaving) so I suppose this is the best way. He didn't promise me anything, he didn't say he loved me. I think it was a FWB relationship but with a lot more feelings. It's just so sudden I didn't see it coming, he hadn't cut down on texts, he alway imitated meet ups. I will be friends with him, it's funny I think because I wasn't physically attracted to him at first. I got to know him as a person first then the attraction grew. I was going to have a talk with him last week about where he saw our relationship going, we were having a lovely night so I didn't say anything, I'm glad I didn't as I would be thinking I scared him off. I just miss our text messages always good banter and always brightened my day. My heart always jumped when I saw a message coming through from him. Sorry I've rambled on
I lurked on this thread for a bit and I remember a wee bit about your story, but refresh my memory x

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