Baby welcome party

[lomega]

I won't go into details as to why, but about a year ago my DH and I fell out with his cousin. DH's family are very close-knit as there aren't an awful lot of them, and the rest of his folks are still on speaking terms with this cousin and have chosen to just not get involved in our dispute. (Fair enough.)

My MIL has very kindly offered to throw a baby welcome party for DH's side of the family so that people who haven't met my son yet can have a chance to meet him. I am perfectly happy and grateful for this, however, I know MIL will want to invite the cousin we've fallen out with as she is their niece at the end of the day and the rest of the family will be invited. The party will also be held at PIL's house and therefore guests etc will be PIL's decision.

Trouble is, I really REALLY do not want this woman (DH's cousin) near my son at ALL. I don't think it is in his best interests to be around someone I consider very toxic and spiteful. Like I say I won't go into detail but I wouldn't trust her with a pencil sharpener.

I don't want to tread on my MIL's toes or come across as an immature bitch by saying 'well if she (cousin) is there I'm leaving' (despite how tempting this is). How can I broach it to her that I really don't want this woman at the baby's party without getting into an argument? For the record she knows exactly how we feel about the cousin and for the exact reasons.

TIA for suggestions x

[TheNewSchmoo]

I really don't think she will be able to infiltrate your child's psyche in one meeting, despite her toxicity. Have her at the welcome party, quiet life, never see her again.

Or stand your ground and face all the difficulties. These are your options I think.

[Chottie]

She might chose not to attend? The centre of the party will be you, your DP and your PFB, she will be very much on the sidelines.

As she is a member of your extended family, will there be other family occasions in the future when you will see her?

She may just turn up with a card and present and congratulations. In this case, I would be gracious and thank her, but I probably would pass any present on You will never be BBF, but it sounds very difficult to never see her again.