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Please help me decide what to do.

(36 Posts)
Alchemist Thu 05-Jun-14 18:07:01

I met my friend about 4 years ago when our children went to playgroup. Her DH was in prison. He came out approx. 6 months ago and we have seen her go rapidly downhill. So much violence and hatred from this man, he burnt her face last week with a car cigarette lighter.

He has been sending sex texts to me which I have ignored and this seems to have riled him. My friend came for coffee after drop off (with new brusies) and he appeared banding on the windows, screaming things like "come out here cunt, I'm going to fucking kill you alchemist. I will burn your house down cunt etc. Friend ran to the door to go to him, opened it and he tried to push the door to get at me, she got between us and I managed to get the door shut. They then went off screaming and slapping at each other.

This doesn't happen in my life. I will phone the police but then.. . what to do please?

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Thu 05-Jun-14 18:10:08

Police. Now. Jesus. Are you ok? Is your friend ok?

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 05-Jun-14 18:11:00

Phone the police now.

WednesdayNext Thu 05-Jun-14 18:16:21


SquallyShowers Thu 05-Jun-14 18:18:37

Call the police NOWc

Figster Thu 05-Jun-14 18:22:21

Police for everyone's sake

SecretRed Thu 05-Jun-14 18:22:45

Yep, phone the police. Is he still on tag/probation?

Needadvice5 Thu 05-Jun-14 18:24:49

I can understand that your frightened but you need to protect your children, police, chances are he's still on probation.....

DrawingsAndPuzzles Thu 05-Jun-14 18:27:26

I hope your friend is okay. Call the police now please.

UncrushedParsley Thu 05-Jun-14 18:29:10

Much as you don't probably want to do this, I would stop seeing your friend. You don't want this at your door. And yes, phone the police.

Saltedcaramel2014 Thu 05-Jun-14 18:38:51

This is horrifying. I hope you are ok and have someone in rl to give you some calm respite from all this. P

Saltedcaramel2014 Thu 05-Jun-14 18:39:59

Police and some distance for yourself and your children. It sounds like through no fault of your own you've become too involved to be able to help her

Madlizzy Thu 05-Jun-14 18:50:14

Phone the police right now. I don't understand why you've not done it sooner. I also think it's time to take a step back from your friend, as difficult as it is.

Alchemist Thu 05-Jun-14 19:41:00

I have phoned the Police and have repoted this but not pressing (as yet)

Another friend and I have spent hours this week setting up places for her to go but, as muc as I do/don't understand, she hasn't. I do understand as she is so hurt both physically and mentally.

Being very selfish, I now don't care. I won't allow him to hurt DCs. So he is winning(his words) because I now won't let my friend or her children round because of him.


Madlizzy Thu 05-Jun-14 22:59:09

If you press charges, then that gets him out of the way

Alchemist Fri 06-Jun-14 11:34:54

Have just given a statement and am feeling scared stiff.

Nothing to what my friend is going through. sad

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 06-Jun-14 11:39:31

You are doing the right thing. You're protecting yourself, reporting a crime and that's exactly the right route to take. Your friend has to make her own decisions the way the rest of us do but, if she has children, SS should intervene. He is really not going to win this one

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 06-Jun-14 11:40:00

BTW... did you keep the sex texts and report those to the police as well?

Alchemist Fri 06-Jun-14 12:27:03

Yes, I kept them and showed them to the police. When the burn happened I took photos so showed the police those as well.

Madlizzy Fri 06-Jun-14 13:19:08

Excellent. You're definitely doing the right thing. Feel proud of yourself for this, you're doing her a good deed too, she might actually be able to get away from him.

Alchemist Fri 06-Jun-14 13:45:07

That's my hope. thanks

kittycat5 Fri 06-Jun-14 15:31:47

You are a good friend to her

Bogeyface Fri 06-Jun-14 19:04:34

Will they let you know if he is arrested?

Fingers crossed, with his record, he wont be bailed but will be put on remand.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sat 07-Jun-14 00:23:42

You're a star Alchemist. Let us know how it goes.

Alchemist Sun 08-Jun-14 07:09:14

Won't give too many details, there's enough already to identify her. Or am I being paranoid? Have been thinking about this and the effect this one man has on so many people, like a pebble in a pond.

Anyway, the police came back to see me and my house is being monitored and a marker on my phone number. I do know he is at home as my friend denied everything.

I am scared.

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