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Wondering if he spiked my drinks...

(211 Posts)
heyho1919 Sat 24-May-14 22:27:55

Third date we went for dinner. He was driving and i ended up drinking quite a lot, but less than i have done on many occasions! He ended up back at my house and the obvious happened. For the ext few days i felt like i've never felt before, felt like i was going ot pass out, palpitations, etc. Felt ill for about a week. I'm wondering if he might have put something in my drinks? Or maybe it was just a stange reaction.. Any thoughts?

trappedinsuburbia Sat 24-May-14 22:30:05

Do you remember having sex or what happened once you were home ?

Matildathecat Sat 24-May-14 22:31:46

That is odd. Have you heard from him since?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 24-May-14 22:32:55


magoria Sat 24-May-14 22:33:18

I thought most date rape drugs left your system pretty damned fast.

It sounds like you were very drunk but not unconscious/out of it but to be honest I don't really know very much apart from what you see on TV.

Perhaps talk to a specialist and see what they think?

heyho1919 Sat 24-May-14 22:37:44

Yes, I remember it all and hav hear dfrom him alot since. I was more thinking he might have put vodka (rhather than a date rape drug)in my drinks therfore making me more drunk. He did say then next day he was worried that i was so drunk when we did anything and he should have been a gentleman and gone home but "he didn't want to"

handfulofcottonbuds Sat 24-May-14 22:37:55

For me, I can drink 3 wines in one bar and feel a little tipsy - if I go somewhere different and drink same 3 wines, I can feel really drunk. The strength of alcohol and impact on your body can vary greatly IME from different bars and even adrenaline can make you feel more drunk. It does depend on my frame of mind as to how alcohol affects me.

I'm not trying to dispute your suspicions but is it that common for a man on a 3rd date to spike your drink?

LalyRawr Sat 24-May-14 22:38:38

Depending on drug the symptoms are obviously different, but as PP said, they generally leave your system very quickly. Its kind of the point of them.

Most drugs also make you pass out/not aware of what you are doing. Again, kind of the point.

What makes you jump to drink spiking rather than just thinking you're coming down with something?

handfulofcottonbuds Sat 24-May-14 22:38:49

I hope you're okay though heyho x

honeycrest Sat 24-May-14 22:38:58

Well you said you had a lot to drink so it was probably just that. How much exactly? Alcohol can affect us differently at different times. You will never know at this stage.

Honestly I find it strange that you would immediately think he spiked your drinks rather than you just drank too much.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 24-May-14 22:41:19

Even if you'd had extra vodka I don't think you'd be suffering as you describe for days. Maybe you'd feel a bit crappy the next day but not passing out, palpitations and so on. Those symptoms are more consistent with over-use of stimulants. Weren't drinking Red Bull or similar, were you?

heyho1919 Sat 24-May-14 22:42:43

I thought that becuase I've drunk alot lot more in the same bars amy times and just had a slight hungover for one day after..

handfulofcottonbuds Sat 24-May-14 22:42:55

Just wondering, if you have suspicions that he may have spiked your drink in some way, why are you still in contact with him?

lizzzyyliveson Sat 24-May-14 22:43:11

He did say then next day he was worried that i was so drunk when we did anything and he should have been a gentleman and gone home but "he didn't want to" You realise that he is saying that he knows you were not able to give consent and yet he still went ahead. I would never want to see him again after this. He has no respect for you. He did not care for your pleasure or your consent. He likes to have sex with women who are barely conscious. What sort of man is that?

Monty27 Sat 24-May-14 22:44:24

I agree with Honey.

A very odd suspicion/accusation other than you drank too much. confused

fingersonbuzzers Sat 24-May-14 22:46:51

Dunno about the spiking thing but urgh to a stone-cold sober man having sex with a woman he knows is very drunk.

wafflyversatile Sat 24-May-14 22:50:52

What lizzzyy says. He's admitted to raping you.

heyho1919 Sat 24-May-14 22:52:03

handful - the spiking thing only just occurred to me.
Lizzy and Fingers - you're right. I wouldn;t say i was barely conscious, but had had several drinks and he'd had one - it was obvious i was a bit drunk

heyho1919 Sat 24-May-14 22:54:07

Waffly - that's a but strong :/ I inivited him in, and did encourage him - well certainly wasn;t backward in rsponding

ThingsThatShine Sat 24-May-14 22:55:43

He hasn't admitted to raping her at all. She has not said she was passed out or out of it, just drunk. She hasn't indicated she wasn't able to consent, or didn't want to.

You can't just go around calling people rapists when they have had consenting drunken sex.

heyho1919 Sat 24-May-14 23:01:09

Thanks Things - a very balanced view smile It was in no way rape, and that hideous crime shouldn't be trivialised. Hwever i was qute drunk and he wasn't. Plus the effects of alcohol were far worse than ever before

wafflyversatile Sat 24-May-14 23:02:49

Your post after mine suggests you were less drunk than previous posts suggest.

If she wasn't capable of giving valid consent because she was drunk and he knew she was drunk then that could well be rape. That's ignoring her suspicions that he spiked her drink.

Personally I'm wary of the 'drunk = not valid consent' view but the law seems to lean this way now.

handfulofcottonbuds Sat 24-May-14 23:03:27

I agree things and heyho - accusations or interpretations like that aren't helpful.

What are you going to do OP? See him again?

pregnantpause Sat 24-May-14 23:05:18

I have been spiked- anxiety, panic attacks, palpitations, teary, and nervous were the symptoms over a week after. I still sometimes feel that way if I'm drunk because of the experience ( nothing terrible resulted- my dad noticed the spiking and got me home before the effects kicked in - blabbering, and sudden passing out my husband tells me, I don't remember the night at all) but what you describe is how I felt, before I knew what had happened. I woke afraid and uneasy, shaking and panicky and I didn't know whyhmm is spiking ime might have gone on.

Others are right- if you think he may have spiked you, whether with alcohol or other, he's a bad egg. You know it. Sorry.

Tinks42 Sat 24-May-14 23:08:12

If he's a good guy, I'd just put it down to you being drunk. If there's something about him that makes you think he's a bit creepy then dump him.

Bit strong to think he spiked your drinks which makes me think you're either a bit ashamed of your behaviour and projecting or there's something about him you don't like?

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