Going through a divorce and we haven't agreed contact arrangements. So, far its been on an adhoc basis and normally arranged on the Wed before the weekend, xh normally sees our son in the day time (has had him once for a sleep over). Just been away for 3 weeks, arrived back to UK on Saturday morning. Xh knew when we were back & I also text messaged saying we were back. He suffers from depression, bipolar, being treated for cancer (which I believe is going okay), and was just made redundant. I moved out last November, as he got physical with me, needed to get out of there and to date has not paid me anything. I work full time and being paying for childcare, babysitters, etc and every other expense under the sun. I earn a decent salary and he was on double. He called Sunday evening saying he'd been in bed all day (the medication does make him drowsy, but not to the extent where he would be in bed all day) was really ill, not being eating, saying he wasn't well. He said he has no income (I know he got min 8 month pay out) or savings. Then launched into saying I need to come back to him, etc. Monday night he called again, saying he had been in bed all day and could kill himself. He previously saw a renowned psychiatrist but he is no longer able to see this dr as it was covered by private held he had with work, but as he's being made redundant, no more private health. I just encoraged him to seek help and he got angry saying I dont care about him. He called again this evening, saying he'd been in bed, didn't know what day it was, had not eaten, couldnt remember when he had last eaten, said he was ill and depressed. He then asked when he was going to see our son. I then said, that as he was ill, been in bed for the last few days (and probably more than that), hadn't eaten that first he needed to look after himself and I didn't think he was in a state to look after our son. Our son demands an enormous amount of attention and needs a lot of energy which just doesnt have. I explained that if the nursery worker or the child minder felt like he did, that he wouldn't want them looking after our son. This did not go down well and he launched into saying that I would be hearing from his solicitor and see me in the family court. I geniunely don't believe he's in any state to look after our son and dont want to be obstructive, just want to make sure our son is in good care. I can just see this getting very messy. Any tips, advice? What do you think? To add to this, I meant to be going away next month, long weekend and he'd agreed to look after our son, but I don't think he'll be able to, and I don't have family to help me out. Jesus christ, how did it all get so complicated!
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Relationships
Unstable stbxh wants to see our 21 month old but I don't think he's in a good state
Needclearhead · 13/05/2014 21:50
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