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I have a 'crush' and I'm not sure how to proceed....

(93 Posts)
Shoegal0305 Sun 11-May-14 23:37:27

Ok so I've been single for, like, forever. Happily too it has to be said. Had a few disastrous flings which strengthened my desire to be single.

A few weeks ago, a guy was in my workplace, fixing something electrical. He just seemed lovely, very smiley, chatty and, well, just nice. I offered to make him a cup of tea and started chatting...... Turns out we have a few mutual friends thru another one of his jobs (he does two jobs!). I mentioned him to one mutual friend (male) who reiterated what a nice guy he was but I didn't want to ask anymore as unsure whether he is single? He doesn't have a wedding ring on but I know that doesn't mean anything?

Last week I was driving thru town and I saw him again, on his own. Fast forward to today and I saw him in the supermarket, again alone, as was I. He was friendly and lovely and was like 'oh hiya blah blah blah'. I was pleasantly surprised he even remembered me! I chatted for a while and that was that.

So my dilemma is do I ask my mutual friend about him and if do what do I say without sounding 'desperate'???? If he turns round and says oh he's married or oh he has a partner etc I will look stupid???

Ps can you tell I've been out of play for ages?!!!wink

HeartHotWaterBottle Sun 11-May-14 23:43:33

That's sweet. When you speak to your mutual friend could you say that you bumped into him and 'he's such a nice man, why isn't he married?'

Do you have his contact details already through work?

DickCrack Sun 11-May-14 23:43:39

Think I'd say to mutual friend, I keep bumping into X - is he local? Then just casual chat, how do you know him? Through his wife? Etc...

labetenoir Sun 11-May-14 23:45:05

I see no reason to ask about him, surely you could do it subtly so as not to give the game away?

Shoegal0305 Sun 11-May-14 23:50:07

I know he's local as when I chatted to him at work he told me he lived in the same town. And obviously he's in the local Asda. He came into our work for something electrical but his other job is where we have the mutual friend. Thing is my friend knows me very well and can read me like a book plus I'm hopeless at not showing how I'm really feeling!!!

Shoegal0305 Sun 11-May-14 23:53:16

HeartHotWatetBottle no I don't have his details thru work.....hmm

My friend mentioned my crushes dad who used to do the same job as me, like a million years ago, long before I started but I recognise the name so I've looked on Facebook for him assuming he has the same surname as his dad that is...... But nada!!! confused X

123rd Sun 11-May-14 23:55:34

It can't hurt to ask ! Do it !

Shoegal0305 Mon 12-May-14 00:02:25

I'll keep you all posted........

Feeling quite excited...... And nervous....... Will text my friend as see him very sporadically do I can't unfortunately just 'drop it into conversation'

Will just try and be direct and say 'hey you know X who I mentioned? Is he single as I keep bumping into him and he's lovely'?????

Thoughts?? (Ps I'm a 42 year old single mum of 1 with a profession........ Not a 13 year old pre pubescent girl ha ha)!!

HeartHotWaterBottle Mon 12-May-14 00:20:28

Awww, we all turn into teenagers when we get crushes.
I think you should make enquiries, life is too short! grin

And if he has a partner then you'll soon forget about him.

AdeptusMechanicus Mon 12-May-14 00:35:15

When talking with your friend you could use the guise of wanting to consider having your crush as a good friend but would like to know more about his character before you decide on the friendship. This way it should give you the information you need without making it too obvious.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 12-May-14 06:31:39

Why will you look stupid? Ask!!

JakeBullet Mon 12-May-14 06:42:02

Go for have nothing to lose.

FWIW I am in exactly the same position as you. Haven't dated in a long time/can't be bothered with it all etc.

Six months ago I met a lovely man via an evening course. He was easy to chat to and turned out to be single too. Unfortunately he is also alcohol dependant! Six months on and we are now good friends but that's all. My crush went rapidly but I have made a lovely friend. smile

500smiles Mon 12-May-14 06:44:40

Yes ask. And please report back!

WildBill Mon 12-May-14 06:49:24

It's nice to be excited about someone like this, ask your friend about him in a roundabout way. It's probably better to find out if he's available sooner rather than later. Sounds good though!

yorkierocks123 Mon 12-May-14 06:55:53

just ask so what if it's obvious?

If he is with someone then you know and just drop it - whats embarrassing about that?

And make sure you tell us!

Thislife Mon 12-May-14 07:37:19

Yes no need to be subtle. Just ask your friend, 'hey he's not single is he because, as you know, I'm looking!' Then if he is happily married and you feel a bit stupid, make a joke out of it,'Ah shame! He hasn't got a brother has he?' And move on.

Shoegal0305 Mon 12-May-14 07:46:05

These are all fab suggestions...... Texting my friend now..... Watch this space (yikes!!) xx

Atbeckandcall Mon 12-May-14 08:07:29

You sound a bit smitten already wink

Definitely no harm in asking, you never know, he might be asking the same thing?!?!

Shoegal0305 Mon 12-May-14 09:19:06

I've arranged to meet my friend for coffee to pick his brains!!! Yikes.... Lol how pathetic do I sound? winksmile

arsenaltilidie Mon 12-May-14 09:19:15

'he's such a nice man, why isn't he married?'

'He's such a nice man, is he single?'

'He's cute'

Shoegal0305 Mon 12-May-14 09:21:27

I'm taking the direct approach.... I keep bumping into X, he seems lovely is he single? grin

Atbeckandcall Mon 12-May-14 11:15:10


Shoegal0305 Mon 12-May-14 12:15:55

Met my friend...... He doesn't know if my crush is single or not?? And he's now off work for 2 weeks FFS!!! Have set him on a mission to do some digging........

Atbeckandcall Mon 12-May-14 12:34:58

Grr! I think you need to hover in Asda and just ask the man in question himself! What's the worst that can happen?!

Shoegal0305 Mon 12-May-14 12:40:57

Haha I can't just hang around Asda!!!! I went this morning and had a good scout about but I'm guessing he's at work during the day?! I will be patient and see what my friend unearths..... Argh it's already getting the better of me!! Xx

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