Apologies for the crass title, I don't know how else to word it.
4 weeks ago, I allowed my DH to move back home so we could try to work on putting things right after his emotional affair with an ex colleague (he is adamant it wasn't sexual, but I think that might have been lack of opportunity. They were in love/infatuated etc and had talked about leaving respective partners).
I kicked him out for a week, but as we have three young children I felt I owed it to them to at least try before throwing things away.
Since then he has been more helpful at home, offering to do jobs etc, but doesn't seem to be 'fighting' as he promised when I took him back. We are very polite with each other. He still goes out (he works away sometimes, so I would naively expect that on the nights he's here we should be together, either talking or just being), doesn't want to talk about things, and aside from asking how I've slept he doesn't ask how I am with things. He is ashamed so I think he wants to bury his head in the sand, whereas I need to process my own thoughts and talk about it.
I guess because I'm strong and seeming to be acting normal he thinks I'm fine, but I feel he should be making up for what he's done and showing me why he deserves me. I don't know what that looks like, but I just know if it were me I'd be doing everything I could (for example, tonight he said his brother has asked him round - I would have liked him to take some initiative and get a movie/takeaway/bottle of wine and allow us to spend time together when kids in bed. Seems silly but at least would show I'm being thought of, likewise sending flowers, buying a favourite cd or book etc).
What have your DH's done which made you really believe they were sorry? What would you expect to see from a contrite husband who is with his wife for her and not just the kids?
I think in my heart of hearts I know it's over. He has not done or said anything to reassure me that he still wants me. I just don't want to admit it.
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Relationships
How should a DH make up for an affair
siblingrevelryagain · 10/05/2014 11:37
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