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dating again

(21 Posts)
startingoveragain33 Fri 09-May-14 16:43:07

I desperately need advice. Tomorrow night, I'm going on a date for the first time in years, and I mean like 15 years. Married my childhood sweetheart, bastard cheated on me, kicked him to the kerb, and it took me a while (almost 3 years) to decide to start dating again.

There is a guy whom my friend knows, I've know of him for a little while and last week he asked me out. Although I'm really excited cos I actually do fancy the pants off him lol, I'm really quite nervous, cos I really don't know how fast/slow things go. Apparently he is really keen on me, so I don't know what to expect or what he is expecting (if he is expecting anything at all). When I met my ex I was only 15, so we didn't really do the proper dating thing if you see what I mean.

can anyone give me any advice.

Thank you.

Simplesusan Fri 09-May-14 17:13:31

Where are you going? Are you going out alone or with the mutual friends?

He will be as nervous as you.

I would let him know that you haven't dated for a long time and it will probably help relax the situation.

Everyone feels nervous on dates.

Try and be yourself and be honest.

Go with your gut and see where that takes you there are not rules to follow, well some would say otherwise ,but I think you will get more out of it if you allow yourself to do what you feel is right.

startingoveragain33 Fri 09-May-14 18:01:01

Thank you for replying Susan. We are going for dinner and it's just the 2 of us (yikes). he does know I haven't dated for a while, my friend says he has been quizzing her, so he will obviously know there has never been anyone else in my life except my ex.

I hope he is nervous, but I can't imagine him to be, we have had conversations before, a lot of flirting well more flirting on his part, me, I was just a nervous wreck. I did mention this to my friend, and apparently he told her that's one of the things that attracts him to me, that and the fact that I'm fiercely independent, and take no rubbish off anyone.

I just hope it goes well, and he is a nice as he seems.

Delphinegreen Fri 09-May-14 18:36:57

O bless you! Good luck, you'll be fine xxx just don't order spaghetti smile

startingoveragain33 Fri 09-May-14 20:25:40

Oh definetly no spagetti Delphinegreen lol.

I'm surprised at how nervous I am. generally I'm quite a confident person, but for some reason I'm just so nervous.
I think it's because it's been so long since I've been on a date, and I've never been with anyone else other than my Ex.

I haven't told my friend how nervous I am, don't know why cos I'm really close to her.

MrWalletwithMothsonboard Fri 09-May-14 21:25:09

My advice. Don't drink too much and keep your knicks up for the time being until you decide if he is worthy of you. Good luck.

startingoveragain33 Fri 09-May-14 21:52:47

Lol cheers MrWallet. I have heard he is a bit of a "player", and constantly has women after him, so they will definetly be staying up until I get to know him better (even though he is drop dead gorgeous in my opinion).

I cannot remember butterflies being like this lol.

Minime85 Fri 09-May-14 21:55:15

recently found myself in a very similar situation. have fun. go at your own pace. don't be rushed into anything u don't want to do. make sure u feel comfortable. smile

niceupthedance Sat 10-May-14 01:09:10

Try a squirt of Rescue Remedy for the nerves!

whitesugar Sat 10-May-14 11:18:50

Good luck tonight. What are you going to wear? Are you still nervous.

startingoveragain33 Sat 10-May-14 12:57:21

Hi white sugar, yes I'm still nervous. I eventually told my friend last night how nervous I was, she just laughed and said to go with the flow. She knows him (he is friends with her husband), and she said he is looking forward to seeing me, so we will see what happens. We are going to a really nice restaurant, and then for a few drinks into town, so I'm really not sure what to wear, don't want to seem too keen but then don't want it to look as if I've not made any effort lol. I will probably try on loads of outfits before deciding. Wish me luck. Will let you all know how I got on

Hickorydickory12 Sat 10-May-14 13:34:01

Have a lovely time op. I've been with my dh since school and he's the only guy I've slept with. So if you're in the same position I can imagine how nervous/exciting it could be.
An exciting new stage to your life. Just enjoy it and the attention smile. And def don't put out straight away ...

startingoveragain33 Sat 10-May-14 14:00:23

I won't Hickory, I've just got too much respect for myself to do that, and your right, I have only ever slept with my ex, but I have a feeling he will know this because apparently he has been quizzing my friend about me.

Hickorydickory12 Sat 10-May-14 14:17:12

And do come back to tell us how it went.
Dress to impress but in an 'effortless' way!

startingoveragain33 Sun 11-May-14 18:21:02

Well it went okay. We went for a lovely meal, and he could tell I was nervous (he wasn't lol) but he really put me at ease. he does seem really nice, but of course it's early days and I don't know him that well. He was quite the gentleman lol.

He didn't say anything about wanting to me again last night, so I thought "oh well", but this morning he sent me a txt message saying he had a great time, and this afternoon he called me and asked if he could see me again. he said he didn't want to push it last night, but he didn't want to leave it too long before asking me again lol.
So, it looks like we are going on a second date, and the nerves are starting again.

itwillgetbettersoon Sun 11-May-14 20:31:17

That is lovely OP. I went on a second date last week having not been on a date for 20 years (my STBXH). I was so nervous but had a lovely time and have a third date with him nxt week. I'm just taking it slowly too.

Simplesusan Sun 11-May-14 22:19:35

Pleased to hear it went well op.

Enjoy yourself and keep to your standards!

Hickorydickory12 Sun 11-May-14 23:02:57

Glad it went well. And I agree with above. Keep your standards high. Real men prefer it smile

startingoveragain33 Mon 12-May-14 15:55:59

Thanks everyone I will.

LineRunner Mon 12-May-14 16:00:43

When are you seeing him again? <nosy>

startingoveragain33 Wed 14-May-14 20:10:35

Sorry LineRunner just saw your message. Well I saw him yesterday, and I'm seeing him on Friday night.
Yesterday was a nice date. He called me out of the blue to ask if I wanted to go for a drive (wasn't meant to see him until Friday) so we went to the coast, and we just chatted, and had chips on the sea front.

Everytime I see him I'm getting more and more nervous, my friend has told me that he has been known to have quite a few different girlfriends (whether this is at the one time or not I don't know and I don't feel I can ask him that question at the moment), and although I am extremely attracted to him, I'm not prepared to be with someone to treats me disrespectfully (does that seem as if I'm thinking above my station? Sorry don't know how to word that but hopefully you will know what I mean). He did say to me there has been no one special in his life for a long time. I suppose it makes it harder for him and anyone he meets as he works away/abroad a lot.
As I've said, he is my friends husbands friend, So she said she will try to find out more information about him to let me know, cos I'm not having anyone treat me like a piece of shite (sorry for swearing).

Sorry this is turning out to be a ramble, deep down I feel I'm kind of like a teenager again cos I've only ever been with my ex and I am really nervous and excited at the same time. I don't want to keep harping on to my friend about this, after all I'm a 33 year old woman with her own business, not a 16 year old school girl lol.

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