This is my first post....
I had twins 11 weeks ago by caeserean. My boyfriend has been looking at porn and ringing chatlines and I feel absolutely devastated at the moment. I know it's ridiculous, I never had this much of a problem with the porn before (I've only just found out about the chatlines - they hurt even more).
Basically I'm so jealous and I've been having such a go at him. It's not that I'm not giving him anything, it's just I've pretty much bled constantly since the birth, but i'll still give him something to get him off. I just hate the thought of him looking at women with flat stomachs who haven't had their stomach muscles ripped apart to get out 2 children :'( I still have such a big belly. I just need help rationalizing, I feel so stupid that I'm so upset about it, but the thing that gets me is that he will say so sincerely that he won't do it again, and then does it the next day as soon as I leave the house.
I don't know if I'm pissed off because it means that the bottles aren't sterilized because he's looking at porn, or the fact he's lied about it so much. He does cover his tracks but I have my way of finding out. I should never have gone through his phone but I had my reasons, I wasn't looking for anything to do with other women but then I saw something like 'Call us again to chat to our sexy ladies' BLEURGH.
Or maybe it's because I feel so low about myself at the mo.
We have talked about everything but things don't get any better. What gets me is how sincerely he promised he wouldn't do it so now I know what a good liar he is.
He promised me that it was only once he used the chatlines that it was stupid and he hung up, but I know this is a lie too... think that's what is getting to me now, as I gave him one evening to just say everything he needed to admit and get everything out in the open, but he didn't... when I KNOW he's done it a few times and he knew EXACTLY what to say...
Should I just be glad he's not out shagging 'real' women?
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Relationships
I know I've overreacted...
rachel18 · 08/05/2014 18:49
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