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MN Jury decision required please

(99 Posts)
CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 01-May-14 17:41:34

My exH left about 20 years ago never to be seen again. So I'm clearing out an old bookcase and find a decorative little prayer book with a hand-written message in it from his much loved late Granny, presented to him on the occasion of his confirmation. (BTW Anyone making 'aawwww' noises can leave now) I have no idea what to do with it.

Do I
1. Chuck it on the fire and risk the wrath of Granny/God/Tooth Fairy?
2. Donate it to the charity shop?
3. Keep it?
4. Find his address (no idea where he lives) and send it back to him?
5. Find the address of one of his less odious relatives and send it to them to pass onto him?
6. Something else? (Feel free to be creative)

CoilRegret Thu 01-May-14 17:43:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StillaChocoholic Thu 01-May-14 17:44:31

I'd just bin it, he obviously hasn't missed it.

I'd go with 5 too.

Bursarybeggar Thu 01-May-14 17:44:57

Don't poke the fire! Send it with a typed anon note to a rellie and forget.
Even if they suspect they poss don't have your details and would understand why you wanted to stay off the radar, surely?

LadySybilLikesCake Thu 01-May-14 17:45:54

2. You've already had your fair share of crap by the looks of it so I wouldn't go to an effort. If it was important to him he'd have taken it with him/been in touch.

Minion100 Thu 01-May-14 17:46:32

I would do 5

HecatePropylaea Thu 01-May-14 17:47:18

I am going to out myself as a complete cow here but I'd just give it to the charity shop.

In 20 years, he hasn't found himself missing it, so clearly he doesn't want it. Therefore I can only assume he has no particular attachment to it. His granny I am sure was a lovely person and much missed, but being dead she is unlikely to have an opinion or be hurt by him not having it.

Or maybe keep it in case one of the kids wants it?

hookedonchoc Thu 01-May-14 17:47:55

Did the two of you have children? If so, one of them might want it. If not, I'd bin it and deny all knowledge if asked at some later date. It obviously hasn't been missed.

kinkyfuckery Thu 01-May-14 17:50:05

I'd go for option 5 if it's possible.

Forlornhope Thu 01-May-14 17:51:24

i would give it to him

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 01-May-14 17:52:41

(No children from the marriage, thank goodness!!!) It looks like option 5 has it then. Part of me hates doing anything even remotely thoughtful for him but my 'Nice Cog' persona might not let me sleep soundly if I destroy the bloody thing.

Bursarybeggar Thu 01-May-14 17:54:17

You can be the better person that you know you are and not loose anything smile

OneDayWhenIGrowUp Thu 01-May-14 17:55:00

Assuming no children of his that may want it, I'd send it to the charity shop.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 01-May-14 17:56:18

BTW... please tell 'Bad Cog' that it would NOT be a good idea to slip a shit-stirring note in the envelope saying 'Thanks for last Wednesday stud-muffin. Love and kisses until next time....' <evil grin>

rabbitrisen Thu 01-May-14 17:59:12

I dont think I have ever seen you start a Relationship thread yourself before! smile
And well done btw with all the help you give on this board.
I dont always agree with you, occassionally definitely not if suicide is involved.
But on the whole you do give good and often remarkably quick responses.

Back to the op.
Have I read before that you do know where he is? You can correct me if I am wrong on that.

magoria Thu 01-May-14 17:59:21

He hasn't come looking for it for 20 years.

Stick it in your loft and forget it.

Doinmummy Thu 01-May-14 17:59:26

Ooh yes that's more like it. Slip a willy warmer in the envelope and add that he left this at yours the other night .

rabbitrisen Thu 01-May-14 18:00:15

Other than all that, I am a 5 too.

redandchecker Thu 01-May-14 18:00:17


beccajoh Thu 01-May-14 18:00:45

I would try and get it back to him if poss.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 01-May-14 18:02:37

I don't know where he lives. It's one of those things I don't want to know because it might spoil it if I ever have to go there.

rabbitrisen Thu 01-May-14 18:05:57

I wouldnt necessarily want to go there if I were you either.

Offred Thu 01-May-14 18:08:07

I would explain the story and see if you can hand it into the police as lost property. If they can't locate him to return it you'll get it back and then you can through it away without guilt.

AwakeCantSleep Thu 01-May-14 18:09:51

I'd say 5.

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