Messages on phone... Don't know what to think

[FreeSpirit89]

Okay, so tonight I looked at DPs phone, and found a message to another woman. I've never met her or heard her name before.

The message I saw said "sometimes it's better being single, at least then you can have fun whenever you want"

He says he was angry, we were arguing at the time and he didn't think. I feel betrayed. I don't know what to think, he's apologised but it still hurts.

It's not the first time either, I found a naked photo on his computer a while ago. He claims it's from the past he forgot to delete it.

I don't know what to believe :(

[mammadiggingdeep]

Disrespectful to you but could be nothing. Dodgy that you don't know her though. Did he explain how he knows her?

Go with your gut instinct...you know before you know if it's wrong. Listen to your inner voice.

[FreeSpirit89]

When I questioned him, he deflected onto me looking at his phone. He says it's an old friend he haven't spoken to In months, but he's not mentioned the name. Not once.

Just confused. Maybe I don't wanna believe my inner voice

[trambampoline]

She could be newly single and he was saying it's not that bad?

[cozietoesie]

A naked photo of him or a naked photo of another person?

[Dirtybadger]

Hmm. As others have said; could be nothing. It's a bit rude and he might have been being a bit flirty but it's not massively incriminating. In fact, you could send a text like that without even meaning it if someone was moaning about being single and you were trying to make them think 'the other half' didn't have it brilliantly either.
You're justified to be a little upset, though, so don't let him put it on you. And the naked picture...hmm.

[FreeSpirit89]

The picture was Of another woman.

[cozietoesie]

How long have you been together?

[JackyDanny]

I read the message a different way.

As in, being single you can have fun whenever you want, not just when you are at work, or, when your spouse is away, or when you steal a moment.

[SweetErmengarde]

This sounds so like my ex: always bits and pieces that didn't add up but never enough to give a complete picture. Even down to the photo, for which there was a tenuus-at-best explanation.

If I spoke up about any of it, I was paranoid/clingy/mentally ill/all of the above. He would rage at me and I would be left feeling the whole situation was my fault.

Please don't hang around for the headfuck, OP.

[SweetErmengarde]

Tenuous-at-best, I should say!

Biscuity keyboard strikes again!

[Vivacia]

If my partner sent that (not that I can imagine him doing so) I'd presume he was just trying to cheer up a friend. Are there other things (apart from the photo) which make you doubt his intentions?

[sarahquilt]

Sounds suspicious to me - particularly as it's a woman you don't know.

[SooticaTheWitchesCat]

The one message on his phone isn't really anything in itself, maybe she has just broken up with her partner and feeling a bit fed up. However the fact he tried to turn it round on you for looking at his phone and that you have never heard of this 'old friend' would get me worrying.

The photo you found, do you know if it was someone he knew or just a random naked woman?

It could all be innocent but then again it might not. It is really difficult to tell with just the things you have mentioned.

Is there anything else that makes you feel suspicious?