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DP dreamt he was in heaven with

(63 Posts)
buzzardbuzzard Thu 24-Apr-14 11:21:58

D fiancée woke up this morning and said, I had a dream I was in a heaven like paradise last night and do you know how I knew I was there?, because (insert our mutual friends name here) was there too. I felt a bit offended by this. He used to go out with this woman (our mutual friend) many many years ago for a very brief period.
All day I've felt a bit miffed by this can't seem to get out of this, worried he might hold a torch for her.
Am I being silly?
Feel like giving him a taste of his medicine and doing something to make him feel a bit jealous.

Jan45 Thu 24-Apr-14 11:23:01

Yip, very silly.

buzzardbuzzard Thu 24-Apr-14 11:23:39

hehe thanks, I'm very premenstrual today

Jan45 Thu 24-Apr-14 11:26:20

Some dreams I've had I wouldn't share with my OH...blush

Walkacrossthesand Thu 24-Apr-14 13:36:21

Did you ask him why her being there made him know it was 'heaven'? It's an odd thing for him to say, surely, about a mutual friend?

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 24-Apr-14 13:38:28

Tell him next time he has a dream like that, to keep it to himself. You're not being silly but, at the same time, he's a crass & insensitive fool.

lavenderhoney Thu 24-Apr-14 14:32:18

What an idiotic thing to say to you. I'd be a bit pissed off as well.

He seems to have forgotten you're not just someone he can share thoughts with, you are about to commit to married life with him. Telling you another woman makes him feel like he's in heaven possibly isn't the best way to ensure this happens.

Jan45 Thu 24-Apr-14 14:34:38

It was a dream so means nothing but I do agree, he should have kept it to himself.

myroomisatip Thu 24-Apr-14 14:46:19

What a totally thoughtless and insensitive thing to say. I would be very upset, well, actually I have been very upset when my Ex used to say such things. I should have paid more attention at the time and not got married.

Jan45 Thu 24-Apr-14 14:48:03

I actually didn't read it right first time around, so he thought he was in heaven cos this woman was there, aaaaah, yes it's very insensitive, cheeky git!

TheDietStartsTomorrow Thu 24-Apr-14 14:51:21

I don't think you're being silly at all. Okay, he can't control what he dreams about but to wake up and say he knew it was heaven because this other female friend was there too shows that he thinks that being with her is his idea of heaven. I'd slap him one and tell him to wake up because YOU'RE supposed to be his idea of heaven. Tosser.

RedRoom Thu 24-Apr-14 20:26:37

I'd be miffed too! I'd want to know why she made it heaven!

Charley50 Thu 24-Apr-14 22:05:32


Handywoman Thu 24-Apr-14 22:31:09

What a knob!

Eekaman Fri 25-Apr-14 01:11:50

Yes, a knob and a wanker indeed - not for having the dream but for being so dumb as to have told OP about his dream, instead of keeping it to himself.

BOFster Fri 25-Apr-14 01:22:58

I dream about old lovers quite a lot- never about shagging them or anything, but as though they correspond with the sort of stage in my life I am in the dream, I suppose.

I don't choose to share an account of the dream with DP though, as I imagine it would take more explaining and reassurance than is warranted.

So, if it's the same sort of thing, I would say that a) it is merely a function of the nostalgia of approaching middle age; and b) it was still rather rude of him to mention it to you.

BillyBanter Fri 25-Apr-14 01:24:41

Does he mean in the dream he knew he was in heaven because she was there? If so it was an insensitive thing to say but could be just being silly like 'in the dream I knew I was in heaven because Kevin from Marketing was there lol'.

If he means I knew I was in heaven in my dream because X was there and X is what heaven is about then I'd be having a talk with him about our future together.

Lweji Fri 25-Apr-14 04:30:57

Why did he share this with you?

Tbh, it reminds me of the sort of comments exH used to make. I am not the jealous type or particularly insecure, so it didn't hit a nerve, but in hindsight I'd consider it a red flag.
I hope this was a one off and the rest of the relationship is excellent, or I'd be thinking carefully about marrying him.

Fizzybangfanny Fri 25-Apr-14 11:08:38

Has the other woman died?

Fizzybangfanny Fri 25-Apr-14 11:09:44

Don't do the whole taste of medicine crap. He obviously wasn't trying to offend you or wouldn't have said it.

BuzzardBird Fri 25-Apr-14 11:12:31

Welcome to MN poster. Your chosen name rings a bell.

Charley50 Fri 25-Apr-14 12:40:58

It is a bit of a red flag. Seems he's (consciously or not) trying to make you jealous and insecure. If you do start to feel insecure around him and female friends no doubt you'll get accused by him of being jealous. Well duh, don't go around leching over other women (especially your friends!) to you if he doesn't want you to be jealous.

Cabrinha Fri 25-Apr-14 13:07:32

I'm with Charley50
I think it's worrying that he said it.
It's downright nasty.
Not that he dreamt it - I've also dreamt of past boyfriends that I'm definitely over! Very common.
But I don't think you would accidentally say something like that, it's so obviously mean.
Does he say other things that try to make you jealous?
If yes, I'd reconsider the engagement. Seriously.
If not, then I wouldn't play silly tit for tat games, but I would be pointing out how nasty it was. And his reaction to that might determine the course of our engagement.
Never can I imagine saying that to someone.

Hogwash Fri 25-Apr-14 17:53:39

He sounds a knob.

jjsuk Fri 25-Apr-14 19:26:32

Dump him. You both deserve better.

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