Hi all. I guess I'm asking for some advice here because there's not anywhere else to turn. This post is about a friend of mine (single mum) who has "problems" and she has a 10 yr son who's really suffering as a result. I've known them for about 8 months now and want to do the best for them. I'm a close friend not a lover btw.
Mum (32) is a lovely lady when sober but has self esteem issues that result from an abusive childhood. Ay 17yrs she tried to commit suicide and ended up in a psychiatric unit. At the moment her only answer is the bottle and last night I had first hand experience of what that really means and what it does to her son.
She'd been drinking during the afternoon so I invited her and her lad out for something to eat. I knew she'd want a drink with the meal but had hoped the food and my company would help sober her up. We were , I thought, doing quite well until she went out for a ciggy. She was gone for quite a while - The first sign of real trouble was when her lad came back in white as a sheet, and said I had to "come and help 'cos mummy was being chatted up by some boys". We went outside and she was well away being bought drinks. Luckily once the guys she was talking realised what was happening they wound down the chat up and told her to take her son home.
I drove them home but by the time we got in, mum was barely able to walk so I got her upstairs and into bed. But what to do about the boy? I tried to persuade him to go to bed but he wouldn't leave his mum's side so I had to leave them with the lad cuddled up to his passed out mum.
The lad is having problems at school, he's difficult at home with mum and she either hasn't or won't acknowledge that her self destructive behavior is the root cause.
I had a word with mum this morning and pointed out to her how much the way she behaves upsets her boy but all I got back was "I'm not really a bad mum, just a bit of a crap person".
Her doctor says she's not an alcoholic but "has problems controlling her drinking"
As an adult, what she does with her life and her body is I guess, up to her but honestly, seeing her little boy obviously in so much pain has really shaken me.
Any suggestions?
Regards all
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
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What should / could I do - If anything?
farmergiles001 · 11/04/2014 13:11
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