EHarmony anyone?

[MatureUniStudent]

Finally divorced and crippled by being fat and thinking no man would go near me. But a few weeks ago in RL got happily hot and heavy with a thoroughly attractive rogue. He did me a favour as if he could look past my jelly belly, I assumed others would. So I joined EHarmony.

What I wanted to ask, is if other Mumsnetters have ever had any joy with EHarmony. I have a good number of matches but only one in my county. Seems no man aged 49 - 63 is single where I live!

[Stalinssister]

I did about six months on EHarmony. I had a few message exchanges and ended up not meeting up with anyone. I did think some of the profiles are false, some things made me suspicious (non-matching photos which looked weird in a profile, people sending you very odd messages at times). I think it is a site you have to be a bit wary about. Do you remember the Panorama programme about dating sites which found some of them pay people to create false profiles to keep their membership up? I do think EHarmony was one of these.

Sorry to be a bit negative about EHarmony, you may have a different experience. I found Guardian Soulmates was better for actually meeting up with people.

Good luck

[MatureUniStudent]

Thank you Stalin. I had thought of GSM and the Times one but I liked the idea of a basic compatibility test being done for me to hopefully ensure we had something in common.

Have you any insight on Elite Singles? I did their really thorough
endless compatibility test but was surprised horrified at the cost to join.

[TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle]

I wouldn't bother with the matched profile ones until you've tried the cheaper ones first... I tried EHarmony years ago and it only matched me with one person who lived as far away in Britain as it's possible to be!

I'm sure I read something the other day that said the profile matching was all a false science anyway, but I can't find the article again to link to.

[whitedoorbell]

I joined ok cupid.. seems ok. and also pof. lots of chancers on there but quite fun weeding them out!

tried gsm but a bit too high brow for me. I am a single mum with 3 kids and struggled to find someone who thought thqt would fit into their scene of retro underground clubs and trekking the foothills of the himalayas!

[MatureUniStudent]

So what would you suggest Teenage in terms of dating websites? Are there any good sites you have used? I've paid for EHarmony now but have wondered if anyone has ever used say an agency to find a relationship or used a dinner dating thing? And if so, which one? (Keen as mustard to get on with it now, hoping I won't become disappointed and jaded)

[MatureUniStudent]

Ha White - they all seem to be keen on cycling on EHarmony, something as interesting to me as picking up the dog poo in the garden. At least my bum doesn't end up aching when picking up doggie do.

[FolkGirl]

My friend was on Eharmony for a year and in her last week of membership met the man she went onto marry.

But I know that she had become very disillusioned by it and none of her other first dates had progressed to a second.

But then she was 36 when they met and very definite about what she did and didn't want in a man.

[exWifebeginsat40]

POF is men who like carp fishing. OKCupid is men who like shagging.

i have met a lovely man from POF but don't know if it's going anywhere, and shagged a beautiful but not-very-nice man from OKCupid. no idea on EHarmony.

i am, however, heartened by the amount of men who are not in the least bit fazed by a fat, forty-something divorcee who's been out of the game for 10 years.

[MatureUniStudent]

Gosh me too exWife. Really stunned that I had been the object of someone's desire! I am hoping men in online dating are equally as accepting. I've been honest and said I overweight. There was no "poor and abused carriage showing heavy signs of significant wear and tear" option on EHarmony, otherwise I'd have ticked that one!

Folk - I just want them to have most of their own teeth. So I guess I'm definitely not being too choosy...

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

I want to hear more about the thoroughly attractive rogue....!

[FolkGirl]

Well I'd hope you wouldn't have too much trouble there!

Good luck!

[MatureUniStudent]

Oh Jon - for three years we have danced around each other - I have had the most MASSIVE crush on him. He is thin, sporty, devastatingly attractive (the DC's boak at that) and to my amazement, when we finally managed to be in a place on our own (he's never asked me out, we know each other through a mutual sport my DC play and he plays) he revealed he too has had the most massive crush on ME - then he kissed me. A lot. And then did other wonderful things and my body remembered what it had been made for.

And then he said the killer words.... "this has been lovely but it can't go any further". WTF thought I? politely I asked what he meant "It's complicated" said he, aka I'm emotionally and verbally both constipated and deeply challenged.

Or as my male friends said, less hospitably, "he's got another woman on the go".

Male v Female opinions were vastly different.

Male = he's scared, continue to flirt, show him he is safe and keep taking it forward

Female = he's a bellend, cock teaser (male version - vage frustrater etc)

But if nothing else, he awakened my desire for a man in my life. So he did me a favour, once I had got over the heartache of being so roundly used, abused and rejected...

He is, a thoroughly attractive rogue.

[akaWisey]

Well I've tried Eharmony which was rubbish and Match which is hardly better. So I'm on POF and having much more fun. I've met a loveable rogue who makes me laugh like a drain which I find an ENORMOUS turn-on.

So I had my first (lovely) shag for well over a year last week and I'm looking forward to the next one next weekend .

For traffic I think POF is superior but obviously there are a lot of carp…..

[Latara]

My sister met a lovely SBS man on POF. He was really SBS because she met all his colleagues and went to the base which is near where we live.
Only problem was his temper. They are sort of seeing each other.

I know a woman who is now engaged and pregnant after meeting on POF.

Another who is married with a baby after meeting on Match.

And I recommend Tinder for dating, chatting etc.

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

Oooh I loved that - what a shame it can't go any further! I totally know what you mean about your body waking up after ages of forgetting what things can feel like. It's the best feeling isn't it?
Well good luck - I hope you find someone who makes you feel equally great but is more available.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

I met my husband on POF. His mate met his wife on Match

[DorothyBastard]

I met DP on eHarmony two years ago, he was the second man I went on a date with from there. We now have a mortgage, a 13mo DD and are marrying in September.

[MatureUniStudent]

aww thank you Jon - and may I follow in Dorothy's footsteps! POF looked rather terrifying to me No - but if EHarmony fails - I'll give it a try - Has anyone ever been to a proper dating agency or one of these "across the room" dinners?

[Hedgehead]

I met my DH on Eharmony. I found the compatibility tests pretty accurate. But I think maybe there are more people on there age 25-35 than older than that?

[IsTheGrassGreener]

I used to be on eHarmony. Can't say I noticed fake profiles. I got lots of matches when I used to live in the Midlands and included London in my search area. Now I'm in the South West and matches are rare. (I'm not paying for the site any longer.)

I met up with quite a few men via eHarmony. I think 10 in total. Nothing became of it relationship wise but I am friends with one of them now. The reason I chose eHarmony is the matching system - I didn't want to be on a site where anyone can just browse profiles and pictures. (I am an academic and didn't fancy my students coming across the profile.)

[MatureUniStudent]

Grass that is my reason too. I don't want my ExH trawling my profile so EHarmony suited me. But has anyone used a dating agency or a dinner dating/across the floor type agency?

[AnnRuleRules]

My friend met her fiance - a GP - on EHarmony. He is so nice to her!!! It IS possible!!

[Sassy777]

I think it's time for me to start dating. I really need some fun! How much do they cost though? I've heard eharmony is expensive?

[MatureUniStudent]

Oh Ann that's lifted my spirits! I just want a lovely man, not worried about his job or income.

Sassy it is £39.99 for two months and on this offer I have a minimum contract for 6 Months. I'm rather enjoying it. You get a new set of matches each day, they give you set questions so you work your way up to your own communications. I spent a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon yesterday working my way through the questions with a witty chap.

Now (as it's Easter school holidays) I'm sat in Bed with a cuppa reviewing my new matches! If nothing else it has made me feel positive.

No one on mumsnet has used a dating agency then? I'd love to know if it worked as I thought they were v expensive?

[t3rr3gl35]

Can't help from personal experience but have listened in awe to a friend telling me about her experiences speed dating and dinner dating. She also did one of those tea dance dating things. background to her is she is vivacious, professional and really quick witted and found herself single after relationship with her DS's father floundered due to his roving eyes. Her take on these formal dating scenes is that they are a pleasant way to spend some time and meet people who for the most part seem genuine - but - it's definitely better to have skin of the thick variety as it is feels so much more like a personal judgement if somebody you think you have hit it off with leaves no interest in the feedback, compared to internet dating where it's all in the ether until you decide to meet up. HTH.