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Inviting a Crossdresser on your Hen Night

(602 Posts)
rachelmonday1 Fri 04-Apr-14 16:08:56

I'm actually a guy that enjoys crossdressing and am very fortunate to have a number of female friends, one of whom is getting married and has invited me to join her friends on her Hen Night. I don't look too bad when I'm dressed as Rachel and often go out with the girls with no problems.

I'm happily married and my wife understands the "Rachel" side of me, but thinks it's odd that a girl would invite a crossdresser on her Hen Night.

Any views out there?

Hedgehead Fri 04-Apr-14 16:13:01

I don't think there should be a problem with it. People invite whoever they want on their hen nights, right? Straight, L,G,B,T, cross-dressers, it really doesn't matter

NeoFaust Fri 04-Apr-14 16:15:01

I think it's a glorious sign of modern times, imho. A nice idea by your friend.

Joysmum Fri 04-Apr-14 16:16:08

Each to their own.

For me the attire doesn't matter, what's salient in my beliefs is that my hen night was purely for ladies. Cross dressers are men and so it's not something I'd have done. If it was just a regular night out in anticipation of getting married but for all friends then there wouldn't have been an issue. Tbh my hen night was 16 years ago and an all female hen night was more appropriate back then. Now a mixed sex night out would be more apt.

Dirtybadger Fri 04-Apr-14 16:19:22

I don't see why folks should exclude some of their best friends on a hen/stag because they're the wrong gender. Regardless of cross dressing. I'd hope my male friends would have me along on a stag (the right sort of stag anyway).
I see why your dw is a bit shocked but doesn't really warrant more than an "oh didn't expect that. Have fun then dear"


AhCmonSeriouslyNow Fri 04-Apr-14 16:20:16

I would imagine she saw that you enjoyed getting dressed up "girls' night out" style and thought you'd like to come along.

I see what you mean, I think, that hen nights are usually female only affairs (though obviously that depends very much on the bride) but I would think it's the fact that you enjoy dressing up which is often a key part of a hen night that made her think of you.

Hope you enjoy it!

FolkGirl Fri 04-Apr-14 16:21:22

Does your wife think it is odd in a 'confused' way, or in a 'thinks it's a bit dodgy/doesn't quite trust it' way?

Later on this year, I'm going on a hen night and a stag do for a female couple who are getting married. It's going to be an all female 'stag' do. It's what she wants.

I wouldn't pass judgement on what other people want for their own circumstances.

Ivehearditallnow Fri 04-Apr-14 16:27:15

I have lots of male friends who are gay (I work in PR, lots of gay men... LOTS!)... I had a 'cock-friendly' hen do, so we had boys there too. Boys I love dearly and never have a night out with my friends with out.
It's not Pride & Prejudice where boys and girls are on the opposite sides of the dance!

My DP went to a stag where the stag's (female) cousin was there too! She's a very laddy girl and would have been bored to tears on the hen (at a spa!) x

Offred Fri 04-Apr-14 16:28:04

Hen nights, which buy wholeheartedly into the oppression of women and the supposed gender divide, are exactly the kind of thing a man who was into aping the tools of female oppression would be at home in surely?

Ivehearditallnow Fri 04-Apr-14 16:28:38

PS - not implying that cross-dressers are gay. I know the majority in fact, aren't (common misconception)... just saying that boys should be welcome and hens and girls at stags if that's what the hen and stag want x

Offred Fri 04-Apr-14 16:31:03

You can all get dressed up 'like girls' together...

Ivehearditallnow Fri 04-Apr-14 16:33:20

Offred have a wine and lighten up! It's Friday afternoon after all x

Minnieisthedevilmouse Fri 04-Apr-14 16:34:02

Did she invite you or Rachel? Considering what they will no doubt be wearing i suspect you might almost be under dressed tbh...

Not sure I get why it's weird. Or I do kinda but am ignoring at as I think I think she should be?

rachelmonday1 Fri 04-Apr-14 16:34:34

Some very interesting replies....thankyou all!

I'm looking forward to going, although a little nervous as I'll only know about a third of the girls, hence this post.

It's re-assuring to see that most of you don't really see a problem with it, which has already helped to calm my nerves a bit.

Not sure what to make of your comment Offred, as I simply don't but into the oppression of women stuff, in fact quite the opposite. Thankyou for your views anyway.

Offred Fri 04-Apr-14 16:38:00

I think you should take this more seriously. This crap about reducing women to long hair, lipstick, high heels and fluttery fabrics is really toxic. The whole idea of 'crossdressing' is toxic and sexist. Now I've been in a relationship with a man who liked to wear items of clothing that were usually considered to be for women but that is not at all the same as 'cross dressing' which by it's very nature puts women into a little neat box. It's one of the reasons strangers feel confident shouting 'dyke' at me in the street and I don't see why we have to appear to be liberal by supporting what is actually a practice betraying very illiberal and oppressive values/assumptions about men and women.

Ivehearditallnow Fri 04-Apr-14 16:38:07

Oh don't mind her, Rachel. Have a great time x

rachelmonday1 Fri 04-Apr-14 16:38:32

Minnieisthedevilmouse: I was invited as Rachel. As for under-dressed....I don't think so!!! LOL

rachelmonday1 Fri 04-Apr-14 16:39:54

Ivehearditallnow: Thankyou and I'm sure I will smile

Offred Fri 04-Apr-14 16:40:28

Yes, you get on with using this man to feel good about how liberal and tolerant you are. Don't worry at all about engaging your brain...

Ivehearditallnow Fri 04-Apr-14 16:41:44

Get some help for your anger about this issue, Offred - seriously.
Think it might do you some good brew

Offred Fri 04-Apr-14 16:50:25

Why don't you stop trying to be so cool and think about what it is you are supporting here. Sexism isn't tolerated on this board usually, what's the argument for supporting it here?

waterlego Fri 04-Apr-14 16:50:36

Offered, what your ex partner did- sometimes wearing items of clothing usually considered to be for women- is exactly what cross-dressing is. Isn't it?

waterlego Fri 04-Apr-14 16:51:01

OP, hope you have a nice time grin

FolkGirl Fri 04-Apr-14 16:51:25

I can guarantee that if I were there, it would go a bit like this...

Hen: "This is Rachel"

Me: say "Hi Rachel, I'm FolkGirl"
Me: think <Oh, Rachel is a man>
Me: say "So how do you know X..?" and then carry on with the evening.

Just go.

You may be a bit of a novelty for some and get asked some stupid questions, but I doubt anyone will be unpleasant or whatever.

Have fun.

Offred Fri 04-Apr-14 16:53:09

No, it isn't it's wearing clothes that you like.

Cross dressing involves accepting and promoting that some things are 'women's clothes' and dressing up as a woman which is horribly sexist.

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