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Suspicious about explicit pop ups on gf's I right to be?

(33 Posts)
Ihatebubbleguppies Fri 04-Apr-14 10:32:29

Hi all

I'm a bi sexual woman, in a relationship with a woman and have been for a couple of years now. This is basically irrelevant, but just wanted to make it clear I'm not a guy, in case people got confused when I refer to my gf.

I'll get straight to the point. 6 months or so a go, I noticed a lot of what I would call 'inappropriate' advertising pop ups on gf's computer.

Now, when I was first exploring my sexuality, I did visit some bi websites, not really dating, but more help and advice forum type things, but I do still get and similar dating sites popping up, even though I've never actually been on it, but I know that this is why. So I understand that whatever you've been browsing gets stored and similarish website advertisings will pop up and we both have these kind of things randomly coming up and I always used to think I understood why. However, as i say, for the past 6 months or so, I've noticed her pop ups are sometimes quite explicit. Well, very actually. As in pornographic- boobs, ass and clips of women writhing around. I've never had this, but I do know that whatever website I've been on, seconds later, I get lots of advertising from those very sites, or similar. I don't get just random pop ups iyswim. So when I saw these keep popping up, I asked her why and she said that she didn't know, it was probably because she'd been on similar sites to me, a couple of years back and that it was unusual that I didn't get them if that were the case.

So it had been a few weeks and realised that I hadn't really seen any recently and then all of a sudden, this incredibly explicit pop up came to the right of her screen and she tutted and said "damn, I'll have to turn the pop ups off again". I didn't even know you could do this, so I asked what she meant and she said that she had turned them off, because they were pissing her off, but she had to turn them back on for tests she had to do online for a job interview.

So basically, I'm just wondering if this is actually possible. I don't want to say that I don't trust her, because I really think I do. However, something just isn't adding up to me. It could just be that I'm not as computer savvy as she is, so this could just be complete ignorance on my part...........which would be embarrassing confused

I haven't accused her of anything, obviously, but she knows I don't really get why it keeps happening.

Thanks for reading. Any advice appreciated.

LaurieFairyCake Fri 04-Apr-14 10:34:05

Yes she's right

It's very easy to turn them off, one click under advanced settings.

Bifauxnen Fri 04-Apr-14 10:36:48

I'm not sure what you are suspecting her of.

Ihatebubbleguppies Fri 04-Apr-14 10:38:29

Oh and I should make it clear, I'm not snooping. It's just that we both have been working from home recently and will often do our work on the sofa, next to one another. So that usually means we can see one another's screen.

Ihatebubbleguppies Fri 04-Apr-14 10:39:53

Sorry, I really haven't made this clear. I know know that it's possible to turn them off, I was asking if it's possible to get pop ups of such sites, even if you have never been on one, or one like it?

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 04-Apr-14 10:41:07

Turning pop ups on and off is easy and yes, you do have to turn them off occasionally to access certain sites full content eg if the online test she was doing was via a link to open another window, then her pop up blocker might have prevented the link from working (on some browsers/pop up blockers you get a message "X site wants to open a new window, will you allow this?" on some you need to turn it off after getting yourself all pissed off that the webpage is broken and spending 10 minutes trying to work out why blush

Also pornographic pop ups could come from numerous places, it does not necessarily mean she has been looking at porn or dating sites. A lot of torrent sites use explicit content advertising to make money, as do some of the less popular online gambling sites.

RedRoom Fri 04-Apr-14 10:42:18

It would seem that she has been on porn etc sites at some point and that is why the pop ups are appearing. The best way to stop it is to complete clearly the cache, cookies and browsing history. This should get rid of pretty much all of them, because if they appearing as a result of visits to relevant sites, once the visits to sites stop, so should the targeted ads.

Your difficulty is not with the pop ups though, it's with whether or not she is actively and currently looking at porn but pretending not to.

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 04-Apr-14 10:43:03

There is also the possibility that she has inadvertently downloaded a malware that is causing the pop ups, especially if she uses torrent sites or downloads games from less than reputable sources.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 04-Apr-14 10:43:19

The pop ups will be of sites that have been visited on that computer, yes. If she never clears her history then it could be a long while, or it could be last week.

I like reading erotic fiction, DH and I also shop for things to spice up our love life. Occasionally we get the odd bizarre advert/link to porn etc cropping up as a result of that.

RedRoom Fri 04-Apr-14 10:44:23

Also, what the poster above said is true: you can get porn and dating pop ups from visiting 'men's interest' sites like gambling, sport and gaming sites. The question is whether your gf would have been on any of these sites!

ReallyTired Fri 04-Apr-14 10:45:37

Do you think its possible that your girl friend has been the victim of malicious software? I suggest that you run malwarebytes

On your girl friend's computer. Does she have a virus checker? Is it up to date. Norton or Mcafee that comes with many computers stops updating after 6 months unless you pay a hefty fee. If your girlfriend is using one of those virus checkers I suggest she uninstalls it and uses a free virus checker like AVG or Microsoft security essentials. You only want to have one virus checker product installed on a machine otherwise it will grind to a halt.

I suggest you run one of the free cloud scanners to see if there is a virus that your girl friend's virus checker has missed.

A friend's mother had lots of unwanted pornographic pop ups on her come up on her computer. I am pretty certain that the lady in question was really upset the by porn. I found that the lady had a virus on her computer and it was quite a challenge to remove it.

LoisPuddingLane Fri 04-Apr-14 10:46:05

There are pop ups, and then there are ads. I think there is a bit of a difference. As I understand it, the kind of ads you get are related to thinks you have typed in, or searched for. For instance, I get a lot of Bonprix ads because I shop with them, also Ebay.

Pop ups seem to happen when you go on sites that are a bit less - what is the word? - scrupulous? For example if I go on a site where I can watch free films, I get all sort of other windows opening for, eg, gambling sites, and other things which don't interest me but that are vaguely risqué.

ReallyTired Fri 04-Apr-14 10:47:32

"Sorry, I really haven't made this clear. I know know that it's possible to turn them off, I was asking if it's possible to get pop ups of such sites, even if you have never been on one, or one like it?"

Yes, very much so. All your girl friend needs to do is visit an infected site. My four year old managed to pick up a nasty computer virus visiting a completely innocent site. I seriously doult that my four year old daughter is interested in anal sex! These cyber hackers can be nasty.

LizLemonOut Fri 04-Apr-14 10:48:48

before I had adbloc I would get porny pop ups and other utterly irrelevant ads. I can assure you I don't go on porn sites (and am single so its not my partner or anyone either). My friend is newly married and gets dating site pop ups. I don't think. its necessarily related to what you look at

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 04-Apr-14 10:52:44

If the pop ups are happening all the time and not just when she visits certain sites, then it suggests that she has been infected with a virus/malware.

I get pop ups on mine asking if I want to meet with BustyBrunette42, from neighbouring town for no strings sex, if I am using a certain torrent site, but not if I am on MN. I have absolutely no interest in 42 year old busty brunettes.

DebbieOfMaddox Fri 04-Apr-14 10:56:02

You're not likely to pick up dodgy popups if you confine your online browsing solely to Google, Mumsnet, the New York Times and NHS Choices. But if you venture out into the wider net it's very easy to pick them up even if you never actually visit a porn site. Go to a file sharing/torrent site, for example, and you'll be fighting off the popups unless you have very good protection.

Xfirefly Fri 04-Apr-14 10:56:43

we started getting pornographic pop ups on the iPad. and neither of us had been on any sites like that. we found out it was from a site with funny videos. confused

Ihatebubbleguppies Fri 04-Apr-14 10:59:16

Thanks everyone.

This is all really helpful.

I think she does use torrent sites, yes. I'm almost certain though, that she doesn't have a computer virus. She has AVG and she's very much, switched on when it comes to computers and anything techy, so I'd be surprised if she'd missed anything like that.

maturebizy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:06:47

I have had the same experience. ..except it was my own computer that nobody else has access to....It was horrible....really graphic stuff....It was an infection. ...I had never looked at Porn or dating sites....

SocialNeedier Fri 04-Apr-14 11:16:26

From what you've said here OP I don't think you have anything to worry about. Unless there's a backstory here that means your suspicions are justified?

SelectAUserName Fri 04-Apr-14 11:18:15

Yep, as others have said, the pop-ups aren't always related to the content of the site visited, it's to do with the malware 'piggybacking' it IYSWIM. I used to use an online games site - not poker / gambling, just free games for the PC, equivalent to the likes of Candy Crush/Bejewelled etc - and my laptop became infected with malware causing pop-ups for all sorts of dodgy stuff.

RedFocus Fri 04-Apr-14 11:33:39

Yeah I get dodgy ads and pops up on mine all the time and I definitely don't watch porn or are on any dating sites. I do use a film torrent site though and I presume this is where they are coming from. I only use my laptop for watching films actually so it would have to be from there.

ReallyTired Fri 04-Apr-14 11:42:46

" She has AVG and she's very much, switched on when it comes to computers and anything techy, so I'd be surprised if she'd missed anything like that."

Any virus checker can miss a new virus. I suggest she does a scan with Panda or malwarebytes.

It would be sad to ruin an otherwise good relationship over a techy problem. Its not a slight on your girl friend's IT skills as even major corporations with highly experienced IT professionals can fall foul of malware.

CheeseAndPickleSammich Fri 04-Apr-14 11:43:39

It is very likely that she has been looking at porn, is this something that bothers you? Do you live together? Have you discussed your feelings towards porn?

I am also a lesbian, I love my girlfriend more than anything in this world but yes, I do watch it now and again

Ihatebubbleguppies Fri 04-Apr-14 11:57:30

Thanks ReallyTired. I will pass that on.

Cheese, but as others have said, if she's been visiting torrent film sites, could that not explain the explicit pop ups? We do live together and yes, it would bother me if she had been looking at porn. She has always said that porn does absolutely nothing for her and has even said she's actually quite anti porn. I am more open minded, but I wouldn't want to look at anything like that on my own or without her knowledge. I know it would upset her, as it would upset me. Does your gf know you watch it?

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