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telling children you are seperating?// How??

(6 Posts)
Herhonesty Thu 03-Apr-14 10:35:35

with a great deal of sadness on my part i am faced with the task for telling my children (or child really who is aware, one dd 5 and one dd 1) that their father is leaving. can any give me any tips, tell me how they did it or link to any websites.

thanks in advance x

Lovingfreedom Thu 03-Apr-14 10:44:59

We went out for a meal and told the children there. There's a useful leaflet called 'kids in the middle' that I picked up at CAB or the library I think. My son found that useful. Afterwards I got the kids to make a 'worry box' where they could post their worries about what was happening. They didn't use it much but they took making it very seriously and I got the impression they were pleased to know their feelings are important. The main advice you get is to make sure you tell the kids that it's not anything that they have done. Also let them know that you both still love them. At the same time let them know it's

Lovingfreedom Thu 03-Apr-14 10:45:49

Sorry I dropped my phone!...let then know it's definite and there is nothing that they can do to fix things.

Lovingfreedom Thu 03-Apr-14 10:47:22

Sorry again just re-read your post. Your 1 year old won't understand. Your 5 year old will take it much better than you expect if you try to be matter of fact about it.

ToAvoidConversation Thu 03-Apr-14 10:51:28

Have an idea of the practicalities before telling them.

For instance:

You'll live with Mum but Dad will pick you up on X time and X day every week. You'll talk to Dad on the phone too... Have it set in stone so they have a routine to fall back on.

I was about this age when my parents split and still remember being told really clearly but just by my Mum when my Dad was already gone hmm.

Careful about being out somewhere, you may have tears. Depends how sensitive your child is.

onetiredmummy Thu 03-Apr-14 11:01:41

Tell them when at home.

Keep it simple, you don't have to go into the reasons really, & focus on how their lives will or won't change. So for example tell them that they can still see their dad, that they will have 2 bedrooms & 2 front doors & that they can take their toys between houses. Be positive about the changes impacting them & don't make it any one parent's fault (easier said than done sometimes).

Tell them that its not their fault and that you love them smile

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