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Peed off with my brother and his new relations

(5 Posts)
grants1000 Tue 01-Apr-14 15:50:50

To cut a long story short my brother who I grew up with under the same roof from 0-21 is actually my half brother, which I found out about when I was 21. Same Mums different Dads. I am now 37. My brother has two half siblings (same Dad different Mums). You with me? These two half siblings are younger and in the last two years 'my brother' has made a real effort to get to know them, all pally on FB lots of meet ups etc. He has never introduced me to them, the sibling he had for 21 years. My brothers mates are all in on the good times, so why not me? Just seen another stomach churning love in post on Facebook about something they all did at the weekend together.

I am pissed off with it to be honest. I feel left out. I get his need to have a relationship with them, but not at the expense of mine.

Clargo55 Tue 01-Apr-14 16:01:36

Must be really difficult for you both.
I'm in the opposite predicament. I have two younger half brothers who I have yet to make contact with as I worry about my half brother that I grew up with. He's my best friend and I think it would hurt him If I spent lots of time with them.

However, If I were to make contact with them I don't think I would invite my brother to hang out with us while we got to know each other. You are his family, but not his siblings family.

I do think it would only be fair for him to try and spend equal time together when possible. Have you tried talking to him about it all?

He may be afraid to invite you along to things in case it upset you?

NMFP Tue 01-Apr-14 16:05:31

Difficult.

These relationships are relatively new to your brother and I suspect he is a lot less secure about it than he thinks. After all, his dad turned out not to be his dad. These new half siblings have a relationship with the dad he didn't even know he had.

I'm guessing he isn't sure how they fit in with the rest of the family and maybe hasn't quite thought that through yet.

Did you grow up with your mum and dad? If so, he probably underestimates how much this has affected you because both your parents 'stuck with you' and he may feel that you have not had the same shock of abandonment and betrayal - while of course this has affected you very much, understandably.

Could you arrange a meet up with him and ask him how it is going, and maybe talk about the effect it has had on you? And maybe say that you would like to meet them?

And don't pay Facebook any mind - people only ever post happy happy stuff on there to make themselves look good.

HolidayCriminal Tue 01-Apr-14 16:09:32

My brothers have half siblings I've never met. I'm not the least bit interested. confused Why would I be?

MeepMeepVroooom Tue 01-Apr-14 16:16:05

Why would I be?

Are you close to your brother? I think I would be curious if nothing else if my brother had an entire other side to his family, especially one he was close with. I also couldn't imagine not introducing my brother to half siblings I had (if I had them).

Maybe it's different because I'm not in this position but I can see why the OP would want to know her brothers family.

OP have you asked your brother if you can meet them? Maybe he doesn't want to invite you to in case it puts you in an awkward position. It is quite possible that he is a bit upset by the fact you haven't asked to meet the rest of his family? Just a theory.

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