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(22 Posts)
Stillcomingtoterms Mon 31-Mar-14 21:25:05

I've just started using tinder in the past week or so.

What should I expect, I've had 15 likes but of those only 3 have messaged me. It's this normal? I thought the whole point of it was to message people, what's the point of liking people if you then don't do anything about it.

IncognitoIsMyFavouriteWord Mon 31-Mar-14 21:26:47

Have you messaged them?

They've shown they like you now it's your move.

KiKiKiKi Mon 31-Mar-14 21:33:56

As a word of warning, some people use it just to pass the time, or for fun, with no intention to date or meet up. Just because you match with someone doesn't mean they're hugely into you, just that they think you're attractive.

bouncyagain Mon 31-Mar-14 21:55:38

Just like online dating, a thick skin is good.

I am on tinder. Only because my new friend and I haven't had the exclusive chat yet. I think we might by the end of this week. She was the first woman I met through tinder. I knew by the end of the first date that I wanted to get off tinder.

It's a great app.

olathelawyer05 Mon 31-Mar-14 22:04:42

There would (almost certainly) have been other people they 'liked' who reciprocated. You can't usefully chat to everyone you like and who likes you back.

Poppiesway Mon 31-Mar-14 22:08:14

I have made the mistake of swimming people away.. When I was actually trying to flick through pictures... Or I've accidentally liked them when I didn't mean too..
There's not many people in my area on there.. Although different people to on pof

Poppiesway Mon 31-Mar-14 22:08:59

*swiping not swimming!!!

I also like how it Matches your fb likes and tells you what friends you have in common..

Stillcomingtoterms Mon 31-Mar-14 22:11:15

Ah see this is all new to me .

I was only liking people if I genuinely would go on a date with them(as long as they seemed ok in the messaging bit too ) I assumed they would be doing the same too.

So should I message them just to kick start a conversation or just wait?

bouncyagain Mon 31-Mar-14 22:13:38

Yes you should send a nice little message - something about their profile is a good start. Hopefully not: God why are you holding a huge fish and not wearing a shirt?

bouncyagain Mon 31-Mar-14 22:15:15

But the woman I have met - I knew from her profile that I wanted to meet her, even before we matched.

KiKiKiKi Mon 31-Mar-14 23:00:09

bouncy how long have you been dating?

bouncyagain Mon 31-Mar-14 23:21:58

A couple of months but only about a month on tinder. Why?

KiKiKiKi Mon 31-Mar-14 23:39:40

I meant how long have you been dating the new woman smile

I'd been seeing someone I met on there for about 3 weeks before we made it official, but I think I deleted Tinder after about a week of knowing him. My friend on the other hand has been dating a girl for over 3 months and they still both actively use Tinder. There doesn't seem to be a rule about when to delete it.

bouncyagain Tue 01-Apr-14 03:29:33

Oh I see. Two weeks. There are practical reasons - I don't want to out myself - why we've not met more in that time. I think we both just know.

I agree that there are no fixed rules. It's one of the things I like about tinder. You make it work for you. But I get annoyed when people insist that it is only a hook up app. I'm really happy to have met there and certainly not embarrassed.

Well done on meeting someone there. I hope it goes well.


niceupthedance Tue 01-Apr-14 09:39:00

I found that men say yes to the vast majority, while women are more fussy with their right swipes.

Men then message the women they've matched that they like the best. I found if I sent the first message it never went anywhere. And my ex said he would prefer to send the first message too. But each to their own.

KiKiKiKi Tue 01-Apr-14 12:06:37

Well done and good luck to you too bouncy!

I've gone on dates with two people from Tinder, and unlike niceupthedance I messaged both of them first, because I really liked the look of them (not necessarily as soon as we matched either). One turned into a month-long fling but turned out to be more of a friend, and the other is now my very lovely boyfriend. I'd say I had conversations with about 10% of my matches, and I initiated about 30% of those. If you like someone, send them a message! But don't just say 'hi' grin

bouncyagain Tue 01-Apr-14 13:11:42

Thanks kiki. Agree with your advice.

Stillcomingtoterms Tue 01-Apr-14 23:50:32

What do you say though as most of them don't give any information?

Maybe I need to go through the mutual likes and say something to see if it generates a conversation.

bouncyagain Wed 02-Apr-14 07:17:25

In my limited experience, I found that if there was no profile then it was less likely to communicate properly. Not totally. But don't invest too much time and energy. Meet early on, but just for coffee.

Stillcomingtoterms Wed 02-Apr-14 17:50:03

Well here goes! I've gone through the matches I prefer and sent a short message.

itwillgetbettersoon Wed 02-Apr-14 18:08:56

I have been on tinder for three mths and have had two dates. Which is considerably better than real life as I never meet single men.

I don't like if there is only one photo. If women are in any of the photos I don't like. Not too keen on photos of motorbikes, blurred shots etc.

When I get a match I wait for the fella to contact as too many men (and maybe women) just like everything. Anther thing is to check the distance once a match is made as it gets that seriously wrong - and always in the blokes I really like!

I don't get emotionally involved in texts and I only text via tinder. So far I have arranged to meet in RL quickly and just for a coffee.

It is fun but don't take it too seriously until you really know the person as initially you don't know if anything they tell you is the truth!

niceupthedance Wed 02-Apr-14 19:51:15

Let us know how it goes, Still. If it works I might send a couple myself.

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