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Husband totally embarassed me whilst on holiday. Can't bring myself to talk to him now were home.

(36 Posts)
gagaworship Mon 31-Mar-14 14:10:36

We had a social meeting organised to meet other hotel guests (small hotel) A few hours and many drinks later. My dh was chatting to one of the men and I was chatting to his girlfriend, having not really met them before the chat was very general and light. Then I noticed dh coming back from the toilet with loo roll stuck to his foot - very funny and a little bit yuk. Then a while later from nowhere this guy came up to me and said. 'Do you have zero level standards at home?' He was not laughing. I looked at him quite shocked and puzzled and before I had chance to say anything he walked off. Obviously dh had been saying something about our home life. After that the atmosphere was a little weird, probably due to how I took the statement and we went back to our room leaving the others to carry on socialising.

The day after I told dh what had been said and asked him to explain. He said he couldn't remember. I said I didn't believe him and he said I would have to ask the guy has he really could not remember. He had had a few drinks but was not beyond remembering I'm sure. Who goes and holiday and talks to strangers about there private life. I know he has problems about our relationship. We do have ups and downs.

Our home is not a show house. We work full-time and have a dog. My husband walks and feeds the dog and cleans his car and that's about it. Everything else is my area cooking,washing, cleaning etc etc which does get me down at times and causes quite a lot of bad atmosphere and he will not help unless I nag.

I would never ever say anything derogatory about him true or not. Why would he have a dig at me through a complete stranger. I know if I bring it up again today he'll say I just want to cause a arguement. Anyone else been embarrassed by the dh.

reddaisy Mon 31-Mar-14 14:13:46

From what you have said, I would not have assumed that your DH has said anything in particular to the man who made the comment.

isitsnowingyet Mon 31-Mar-14 14:16:04

confused Can you explain what your husband said?

MrsBennetsEldest Mon 31-Mar-14 14:17:27

Why didn't you go after the man and ask him what he meant?
I think the problem is with him, he sounds wierd.

bobbywash Mon 31-Mar-14 14:17:48

Really? - I'm not sure what you are cross about from the description you have given. I'd be angry with the "guy from nowhere"

You're in a room of strangers FFS what difference does it make. However your dh doing so little is an issue, the rest of it, as my daughter would say - meh

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 31-Mar-14 14:18:59

Could the random man have been referring to the loo roll?

I assume there is a lot of back story here.

Ulysses Mon 31-Mar-14 14:19:16

It sounds as if you're not happy about having to carry out everything at home and the other guest was a bit of a wanker?

Minnieisthedevilmouse Mon 31-Mar-14 14:19:21

Actually based on what you say I think the other bloke was in the wrong not your dh. I think you owe your dh an apology. I doubt he said anything much. This guy is plainly an arse. And you fell for it.

Poogate Mon 31-Mar-14 14:19:47

What an odd thing for the man to say, no matter what your DH might or might not have said! I would just put it behind you, even if your DH said your house was a flea ridden filth pit, what the hell has that got to do with some random guy you briefly met on holiday? !

Put it behind you OP and seriously, don't worry about it any more, you have already given the matter far too much energy and time.

TheAwfulDaughter Mon 31-Mar-14 14:22:38

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hoppinggreen Mon 31-Mar-14 14:23:59

I'm confused .
To be fair thats not unusual.
Unless there us a mahoosive back story here I wouldn't give a shit what some random I had never met before and won't ever meet again thinks he knows about me or my house .

ChloeMc Mon 31-Mar-14 14:25:17

It actually sounds very much that the man was possibly trying to be funny and/or condescening by commenting on your standards at home because your husband accidentally had tissue stuck to his shoe. We've all been there!

There's no evidence that your DH said anything to the man. Sounds like you are being paranoid. I'd have been more annoyed at the other guy not your DH who sounds totally innocent in this scenario.

Mrswellyboot Mon 31-Mar-14 14:28:33

Did you assume your dh said something or did he admit to it ?

Think the man was just trying to be funny. There must be a bit if hurt already built up to cause this much stress over a silly comment (though if there is more to it I'm not belittling it)

RedRoom Mon 31-Mar-14 14:29:17

How has your husband 'totally embarrassed' you? You don't even know what he is supposed to have said, and the person you are embarrassed about is a man from a hotel you are never going to see again. Why are you not talking to him now that you are at home? This cold shouldering is a bit silly, IMO.

Beastofburden Mon 31-Mar-14 14:29:39

I would never ever say anything derogatory about him true or not. Why would he have a dig at me through a complete stranger.

You mean, you would never do something like, oh, I dunno, posting all about it on MN hmm?

DH was embarassed because tissue on the shoe means a poo if you are male.

He laughed it off by making a feeble joke about messy homes.

Bloke B was pissed and made some unfunny joke about it.

You were probably pissed a bit as well and over-reacted.

I know if I bring it up again today he'll say I just want to cause a arguement. yes, I might say the same. There is backstory here and you are annoyed with him more generally. But the incident itself is nothing.

TheDoctorsNewKidneys Mon 31-Mar-14 14:30:40

It sounds like you've seriously overreaced OP, sorry.

KellyHopter Mon 31-Mar-14 14:32:07

Is the toilet paper relevant? How do you know?

gamerchick Mon 31-Mar-14 14:33:18

What did your husband say?

I think... since you both work full time and all tell him that from now on you'll sort the dog and wash the car and everything else is down to him.

See what he says.

Ivehearditallnow Mon 31-Mar-14 14:37:16

Here's my theory... seriously... did your DH fart?

We met up with some people we met on holiday and one of the blokes farted a few times when he got drunk... we moved seats and didn't speak to him afterwards. Sounds snobby but it was really grim... we felt really sorry for his wife! x

Logg1e Mon 31-Mar-14 14:45:40

I am so confused by the first post.

gagaworship Mon 31-Mar-14 14:48:56

Thanks everyone for your comments. I must say I do have a problem with what I think people think of me. Especially when you are meeting strangers who you have to spend time with at meals etc. Whereas hd could not care less. I do know the conversation was along the lines of the standards that we have and that's all I know. Just really got me after to see these people everyday for a week wondering what they were thinking. I know I should not be bothered. I will put the issue to bed and tackle our chores issue which is a sore point.

Ivehearditallnow Mon 31-Mar-14 14:52:07

Aw, well - try not to put what random people think of your 'standards' ahead of what you think of yourself. The man in the pub sounds really rude! thanks

Logg1e Mon 31-Mar-14 14:52:21

Do you not think that it will have been more likely that it was the toilet paper they were referring to rather than your housekeeping??

struggling100 Mon 31-Mar-14 14:53:32

It sounds to me like there's a REALLY unequal division of labour in your household, and that this is the real issue. You feel that you can't keep up (who can, with a full-time job?) and you're not getting the support and help you need from DH. So naturally you feel touchy on this point.

I don't think you should worry about what a weird, rude random stranger says (even if I were totally revolted by someone, I would NEVER say that!). But you do sound overburdened.

NotNewButNameChanged Mon 31-Mar-14 14:53:51

OP you have just sais "I do know the conversation was along the lines of the standards that we have and that's all I know".

You DON'T know!!! You weren't there and your husband has said he doesn't remember what he said.

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