He hasn't done anything, he's lovely and yes, I do love him. I hate myself for it, but I'm attracted to someone else. I need to get my act together and focus on how fucking lucky I am to have what I have, rather than letting my knickers do the thinking.
I've read on here how people just throw themselves into their marriage and get over it. I can't seem to.
Maybe try to imagine explaining to him that you're leaving him for somebody else. How he would feel, how you would feel. Saying goodbye to him, packing up your belongings etc. Watching him moving on and meeting somebody else too.
Had you had boyfriends you were attracted to in the past? Did you not really know what attraction was?
I can't see this marriage working in the long term, sorry. Even if you resolve to ignore your current attraction, there will be more in the future. Your feelings towards your DH aren't going to change after all this time.
Is it because you have kids that you want to stay together?
If you have decided that you want to work on the marriage then you need to go no contact with the person you are attracted to, and start working on the relationship you have - finding whatever it is you have lost which has led you to start considering another person. Think long and hard about the pain it would cause if you acted on your attraction, and make sure you are putting the time and effort into your marriage.
However, you describe your relationship as odd, and you say you are not attracted to your husband, so maybe you need to think about how important it is to keep this man as your other half just so you can keep him as your best friend. You only live once so it would be a shame to work on something which you do not really want to maintain.
I've had lots of relationships with great chemistry in the past, but found that once I've "got it out of my system" then I'm not really interested any more. I figured if there wasn't really to start with then it wouldn't fade. And he really is lovely, he's sitting opposite me playing the guitar and singing me songs . I would be very very unhappy without him. I wouldn't want to out the DCs through the trauma of splitting up and moving.
I decided to go as NC as possible today (we work together so not possible to not talk or see each other at times). I met up with him tonight to stop things once and for all. It hurts. He won't try and make any contact out of work.