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relationship breakdown need advice please

(7 Posts)
flippyflapper Sun 30-Mar-14 19:42:32

hello. im a long time user but name changed as this us difficult for me and know one knows in rl yet.

myself and husband have been together 13 years married for 10.

we have 4 little dc.

we rent.

we have a lot if debt.

we have decided to split. it's been a long time coming to be honest. it's mutual. we are both not happy and as far as I know no one else is involved.

alot of strain on us both fincially and.

the problem is we rent, rent is high but everywhere around here is to be honest, we can't move as I don't drive, we are next to school and my family who I will nees for support.

husband can't afford to move out. But last night he claimed he will take care of debt (in his name) but I will have to sort rent (in my name)

I don't work and haven't for a long time because we have had our dc close together and youngest 2 are still really little. I have my mum and sister near me but both work so I haven't got childcare options.

I was wondering if anyone have any advicey how the hell will pay bills and rent on my own ?

I feel extremely sick with worry.

flippyflapper Sun 30-Mar-14 21:28:32

anyone sad

DickCrack Sun 30-Mar-14 21:38:28

I think you will be entitled to benefits, perhaps call CAB for advice on that? He will have to pay towards the children as well as the debt, if its in his name then it's his problem. Good luck, my partner left me and 2 dcs 3 weeks ago, it's very hard

cloudskitchen Sun 30-Mar-14 21:42:22

Yes speak to cab or job centre ASAP to see what benefits you may be entitled to. Sounds very tough op. thanks

flippyflapper Sun 30-Mar-14 21:50:00

im going to make some phone calls tomorrow.

honestly don't even no where to start.

he will be living here for time being in spare room, so I am assuming I won't be entitled to anything.

Unfortunately he hasn't got family to stay with and I can't see him out on the streets he is an amazing dad so I don't want him being to far from the dc.

so hard. im sorry you are also going through this too.

flippyflapper Mon 31-Mar-14 08:49:18

a little bump

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 31-Mar-14 09:09:14

Echoing the advice to talk to CAB and your local housing authority. Explain the circumstances, see what benefits and other help are available and see if you can be allocated emergency housing for the time being. Would also suggest seeking out a solicitor (or CAB) about maintenance for the children. The debt may be his to pay back but that doesn't mean he can dodge child support.

You are going to have to be flexible if you want to make a new, separate life. It may mean a new (cheaper) location, different schools for the children, etc.

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