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feeling unloved on mothers day

(75 Posts)
christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 12:49:54

Not sure why I'm surprised but husband did nothing to make today special. Kids look bit embarrassed at lack of even a card. Should be used to it but really hurts. Sorry to be soself indulgent but would really like to feel that someone noticed me. Just want to feel loved

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 30-Mar-14 12:57:50

No-one should have to tolerate being ignored or taken for granted. It's not self-indulgent in the slightest to want what a million Mums are getting today i.e. a card or few flowers. Of course it hurts because it's utterly thoughtless.

If you think you ought to be used to it then you have big problems. Suggest you stand up for yourself and tell them you're pissed off. How old are your DCs?

crispyporkbelly Sun 30-Mar-14 13:02:39

I'm still waiting for my card, you're not alone. Your children love you

itwillgetbettersoon Sun 30-Mar-14 13:04:22

Why couldn't the kids make you a card and a cup of tea. I must admit I do remind mine (9 and 11 boys) that I expect a homemade card from them. It isn't the money - it is as Cog says showing other people that they are appreciated. You bed to talk to your h and children I think and tell them what your expectations are.

Doinmummy Sun 30-Mar-14 13:04:44

I received nothing . My DD hates me

Joules68 Sun 30-Mar-14 13:15:28

I received too much..... But still leaves me sad! Sad because they feel they need to apologise with over indulgence! Some of them have been hard work lately

christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 13:26:05

My Ds 9 gave me the money fom his piggy bank. Just made me cry. Husband is crap at buying presents so he judt doesn't bother. Hsd every excuse under the sun and normally kids will bully him into going to locsl shop but he hsd too many beers to drive last night. Just needto lower expecations

christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 13:29:25

They know I'm pissed off. Husband is in no doubt about how I feel but this still happens year after year.

christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 13:29:52

Hope yours arrives soon

AlpacaYourThings Sun 30-Mar-14 13:30:24

That sounds really shit. Could you take them out for the afternoon and let them choose a card and a small present for you? I know it's not the same but the idea they are upset they haven't got you anything is really upsetting.

mercibucket Sun 30-Mar-14 13:31:08

how old are your kids?
sad sad sad

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 30-Mar-14 13:31:21

Keep your expectations high .... lose the lazy, beer-swilling waste of skin you call a husband! 'Crap at buying presents' is a massive cop-out. Takes no effort or imagination to accompany a 9yo to the newsagent for a card and a box of Roses.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 30-Mar-14 13:35:55

Stories like this are usually the tip of a bigger iceberg of relationship problems. It's very sad that you seem to feel you have to put up with this kind of treatment from your family. Want to fill in some of the blanks?

christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 13:37:06

Kids are 14, 12, and 9. 9yold really sweet and just making me tea but older ones gone out cycling

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 30-Mar-14 13:38:41

There's no excuse for 14 and 12yos forgetting Mothers Day. If they have bikes they can bike to a shop. What's gone wrong here? Are they spoilt brats? Are they taking cues on your lowly status from their father?

christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 13:42:18

Married for 15 yrs together for 21. Three great kids. Lovely life in country. Husband works really long days, physical job. He is kind onthe whole and never abusive. I work too and do all kids running around, including a crazy long school run.lots of animals . Always broke. Just fed up today

Trazzletoes Sun 30-Mar-14 13:43:11

I don't understand why your DCs haven't done anything off their own backs - they are old enough to organise themselves surely!

christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 13:44:28

No shops kids can get to from where we live .Hope not spoilt brats just think its the nom I guess thats dh fault

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers Sun 30-Mar-14 13:44:48

Nothing here either, kids are forgiven as they are 1 and 2 years old,dh was apparently too busy remembering to send his mum a card and gift and forgot about me for the 3rd year

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 30-Mar-14 13:46:25

Your kids must go to school. Is the school in the middle of nowhere or is that in a town? If they have grown up thinking it's the norm to ignore you because of the example set by their father then I'm sorry but he's not kind at all.

NMFP Sun 30-Mar-14 13:46:37

Even if they are old enough, its HIS job to check that they have got it all in hand.

christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 13:54:51

Kids schools not in towns so they can't do any shopping unless we take them. He's just been amazingly thoughtless this year. It's not about grand jestures just simple bunch of daffs would have done. Topped off with him going off to do a 'little job' for someone first thing and leaving me to muck out animals and sort out warring kids. Then I stupidly went on fb and saw loads of posts with lovely pictures of cards and flowers. Proper finished me off. Pulling myself together now and not going to let it ruin my day. Suns shining and I am going to plant some seeds and take the dog for a head clearing walk

yegodsandlittlefishes Sun 30-Mar-14 13:55:50

Dd1 brught me a coffee first thing before going out to the sports event she goes to every mother's day. She didn't say anything much. Dd2 didn't get up for ages. Dh stayed in bed too. I asked if there was anything planned and he said no. I had a moan at him and them got up and went out for a couple of hours. He was still in bed when I got back. He had a go at me for 'attacking' him. I give up.

There is a badly wrapped gift in the spare room. It is probably for me. They all have mouths and could say 'happy birthday' and both the teenagers have pocket money to buy a card, but neber do.

For valentine's day I got a card saying 'sorry I'm not romantic'.

christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 14:03:23

Wow you got valentines card !!
Think we have to come to terms with slightly useless husbands.

christine44 Sun 30-Mar-14 14:05:51

Wow you got valentines card !!
Think we have to come to terms with slightly useless husbands.

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