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so. if someone you know got drunk and tried to kiss you, what would you think?

(20 Posts)
ThatVikRinA22 Sat 29-Mar-14 01:23:35

would you think it was just the drink talking?

person has form for being very lairy when drunk. i suspect it wouldnt have mattered who it was....man, woman, vegetable, mineral or animal.

ive told dh because i was drunk too and this was out of the blue and caught me by surprise. in my catatonic state i didnt resist for a few seconds....(further attempts were actively resisted)

the person who kissed me has a partner. i feel terrible. they clearly feel equally terrible as i have had a message which reading between the lines says' i know what i did, im embarrassed, i apologise but im not going to say anything too specific cos if you dont remember then i dont either....and id rather you didnt remember actually....
in reality message just said apologies for being daft....but i got the jist. i replied with an equally jaunty message which implied i remembered nothing....and that nothing had changed.

do people just lunge at anyone when pissed? does this mean this person fancies me? or just gets pissed and fancys a go?

i never go out socially with this group of people but made an exception. i do look different when out. i am also stupidly naive. dh says i have am innocently flirty when ive had a drink. im wondering if i gave out the wrong messages....though i certainly didnt 'look' up for it, i wore jeans and cardy! ....dh says when out i could always pull, but its never on my agenda so i just dont notice or think about it....usually if men talk to me its friendly banter.

of course its flattering that someone found me attractive enough to want a smooch....but im guessing it was beer goggles....and i am worried i give out the wrong "vibes"....

ive been married a very long time, though married very young....(silver anniversary coming up).

im worried blokes think im needy or easy. im neither.

i know this meant nothing in reality and ive been totally open with my dh.

im trying to keep it in perspective. it was one drunken kiss because when it happened i didnt know how to get out of it and i was half cut too.

what on earth does it mean? why did i allow it? i feel so stupid.

TheTerribleBaroness Sat 29-Mar-14 01:31:25

It means that someone got drunk and tried it on with the best available option in the vicinity. It means that they are a twat to be avoided if either of you has been drinking. You've told DH. Just chalk it up to experience and then forget about it.

I expect that lots of posters will have stronger views on it though.

AdoraBell Sat 29-Mar-14 01:35:08

You say he has form, I think in this case it just means he got pissed and tried his luck.

ThatBloodyWoman Sat 29-Mar-14 01:37:50

I think it means you were both drunk.

I reckon that he also finds you attractive, but not necessarily in that way.

I wouldn't overthink it.

Nothing of significance happened.

ThatVikRinA22 Sat 29-Mar-14 01:38:45

i dont intend a repeat performance, and forewarned is forearmed as they say.

but trying it on with "the best available option" is a bit of a worry....no one has ever hit on my like that before so i would like to think i dont just appear to be up for it with anyone who fancies a pop...

definitely chalking up to experience. i suppose i was drunk, surprised and flattered.
fatal combination.

he was just absolutely pissed as the proverbial newt.
ive been absolutely honest with my dh.

Dirtybadger Sat 29-Mar-14 01:41:04

The point is if he was drunk how you appeared doesn't matter. You were around and female so he gave it a shot. He got rejected. You could have been dressed as a nun or a "stripper"- he'd have probably been not too bothered.

TheTerribleBaroness Sat 29-Mar-14 01:41:20

You don't have to appear to be up for it. Some blokes will just try anyway. Especially if you are the most attractive option in the vicinity. ;)

TheTerribleBaroness Sat 29-Mar-14 01:42:18

See. The MN night shift thinks nothing of it. smile

ThatVikRinA22 Sat 29-Mar-14 01:47:28

well. in that case i will try to stop worrying about it then.....

dh said do a "costanza"....in homage to seinfeld. apparently whenever george did something stupid he pretended it hadnt happened.....its become known as "doing a costanza"....

so i will do a costanza and try and forget it.

maras2 Sat 29-Mar-14 01:47:51

Ah be good to yourself Vic . I read your post earlier and thought typical bastard cop < sorry > You are so not to blame , pissed or sober he is your superior and should fucking well behave himself. Good on yer for fessing up to DH. I've been in a similar position , albeit long ago , when my so called manager managed to shove his tongue down my throat . We were both pissed but I was sober enough to tell my DH who was so nice about it . You've had a rough trot lately love with DS's problems and your own health . How about taking some sick time or a career break if possible ? Maybe even consider a change of career . You seem too nice to have all this crap to deal with. Sorry to go on a bit but your posts allways make me want to give you a big hug . If you were my daughter I'd do just that Mx.

ThatVikRinA22 Sat 29-Mar-14 01:59:45

i just feel so stupid....
i told dh as soon as i got in. its not something i would have ever kept from him.
i think the fact ive had a few glitches lately are exactly why i had too much to drink.....i let my hair down well and truly.

im more worried about what other people are going to think....it was in a packed bar.
im trying very hard to keep it in perspective. it was just a kiss. a stupid drunken kiss.

i hate feeling guilty. i told dh....my guilt isnt for him, its for the poor blokes mrs....though she does know what he is like.

and he is actually the nicest bloke on the planet normally....pissed he takes on a whole new demeanour.
as do i apparently.
i go from mrs bloody prim and proper to raging nympho....(well not really. it was just a kiss. but i seem to remember tongues being involved.....bloody hell....)

im going to just stop thinking about it. im actually contemplating just denying all knowledge. <coward>

TheTerribleBaroness Sat 29-Mar-14 02:02:11

Go to bed! It'll be fine in the morning.

TheTerribleBaroness Sat 29-Mar-14 02:03:04

And denying all knowledge will be fine. wink

AdoraBell Sat 29-Mar-14 02:05:50

You don't need To feel guilty for his wife. He is the one with form for this kind of behaviour, not you, and he kissed you, not the other way around.

And I think if you really did turn into a raging nympho when drunk your DH would have said so.

BOFtastic Sat 29-Mar-14 02:06:17

Don't beat yourself up- you've handled the aftermath just fine. He was obviously the instigator, and it's him who should be ashamed.

SolidGoldBrass Sat 29-Mar-14 02:10:09

It's so not a big deal. You haven't done anything wrong. To an extent, this sort of behaviour is similar to 'You're my BESHT MAAAATE!' hugging that some drunks go in for. Just write it off, have a large glass of water and go to sleep smile

ThatVikRinA22 Sat 29-Mar-14 02:14:42

well, i think i could get away with denial. i was pissed after all, i actually thought id dreamed it....i can tell he is feeling equally uncomfortable.

i just dont want it to be the elephant in the room....i think i need to either tackle it or ignore it to the point we just pretend it didnt happen.
im all for for ignore it.....it just has to be easier. i really dont want it to alter our usual relationship, which is good.
i can tell he is feeling a prize twat.

ItsNotATest Sat 29-Mar-14 03:14:26

Aww, you are so overthinking.
People got drunk = normal
Minor flirtation occurred = normal (presuming neither party is a priest, in which a whole load other factors come into play grin)
Nothing actually happened = both parties got a grip, and all ended happily ever after.

Really, just leave it like this. No harm done. All will be fine when you have both sobered up.

Being a drama lama about it can only end badly.

tracypenisbeaker Sat 29-Mar-14 03:26:24

Vic, maybe I'm missimg the point here, but if it meant nothing to you, and you have full confidence in that, then there is nothing to worry about. If it is eating you up because you don't know how you feel about it, then you are going to have to do something about it so that you address the underlying problem. I've been in a very similiar situation to you, and it needs to be said that there must be guilt on your part for you to post here on MN for you to be seeking reassuramce. Like I said, if you didn't exactly reciprocate, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Logg1e Sat 29-Mar-14 06:36:46

I hate it when colleagues, with girlfriends or wives, crack on to me when drunk. I just find it really offensive that they think I would behave like that. Afterwards you always hear that they got lucky with someone else later on that night. Urgh.

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