Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

If you like somebody, and they like you, will it just "happen"?

(18 Posts)
FlirtingFail Fri 28-Mar-14 21:40:55

I have a lovely colleague at work. We are both single. I really like him, and I think he might like me too. We've started seeing a bit of each other outside work, usually with other people around. Lots of smiling and eye contact, and a bit of texting.

IF I am right, and he is keen on me, can I just sit back and let things develop? Or is there a danger that neither of us will make a move, and it will all fizzle out?

MorrisZapp Fri 28-Mar-14 21:41:46

Yes. Just add beer.

FlirtingFail Fri 28-Mar-14 21:43:03

That's the problem, you see, neither of us really drink.

ScarletStar Fri 28-Mar-14 21:44:39

There's always a danger tbings won't happen if neither of you make the first move, but that doesn't sound likely here. I am as subtle as a brick when I like someone, so I couldn't let it lie. I pulled DH by giggling like a tit at everything he said then sneaking a kiss, haha. Good luck!

FlirtingFail Fri 28-Mar-14 21:46:50

I like your style, ScarletStar. I am pretty chicken though.

He is definitely making an effort to suggest doing things together. Do men do that if they just want to be friends? I am worried I am reading too much into it.

MorrisZapp Fri 28-Mar-14 21:50:05

Do you see him at all just the two of you?

WitchWay Fri 28-Mar-14 21:52:15

Just grasp the bull by the horns & ask him out - nothing heavy, just a coffee or something shame you don't drink Nothing ventured, nothing gained. What's the worst that could happen? You'd misread him & it would be a bit embarrassing for a bit. Just do it grin

MyPrettyToes Fri 28-Mar-14 21:52:15

When he asks you to do something with him you can ask "you mean like a date?". That should clarify things.

FlirtingFail Fri 28-Mar-14 21:52:55

Morris, it's mostly with other people.

FlirtingFail Fri 28-Mar-14 21:54:15

LOL at "do you mean like a date?"! I think we are both a bit inhibited.

You are all right - I need to get him on his own.

malalam Fri 28-Mar-14 21:55:04

On one of these times outside work try sitting closer or leaning in closer than usual. He may back away from being surprised but will get the hint. Look into his eyes for a little longer than usual. Mention something perceptive so he knows you are thinking about him. Step up the times outside work that you meet. Tell him you would like to do a specific activity (e.g. see a movie) and ask if he'd like to go with you.

FlirtingFail Fri 28-Mar-14 21:59:33

Thanks malalam - I love a plan of action!

lavenderhoney Fri 28-Mar-14 22:00:27

Just join in with what he suggests. Have fun anyway.

I am experiencing much the same at the moment with someone. He suggested something, and it clearly it was an opportunity for me.

He is lovely but I waited a beat and said " ooh, that sounds lovely. I hope you find someone to do that with" which I regret now I am home alone but he is a) younger than me b) inappropriate c) I wouldn't be able to stop myselfsmile thereby messing up a very nice friendship in the making.

Again, I regret itsmile but I am sensible now. Otherwise he'd be here and I wouldn't be posting on mn.

Innogen Sat 29-Mar-14 01:06:22

I think someone has to make the first move - ask him out OP.

I say this as someone who has had a situation like this going on since 2003 hmm

TDada Sat 29-Mar-14 07:45:36

He likes you. Keep flirting. He needs to do some of the work. Enjoy the the build up stage.....important to do so.

Offred Sat 29-Mar-14 07:51:20

I'm a moves maker. Pulled xh by hounding him on Facebook and bf by googling his phone number and casually offering him a spare ticket to something he was interested in.

I wouldn't be able to just sit back and wait!

FlirtingFail Sat 29-Mar-14 08:09:53

Ooooh mixed messages here. I am useless at flirting, so perhaps I'll start with ramping that up a bit and see how we go.

I feel your pain, Innogen. I've been there before with other guys.

malalam Sat 29-Mar-14 08:14:19

If he doesn't take the hint and make some effort then you may want to walk away- or you could find yourself in a frustrating relationship with someone who is crap emotionally. He has to win you as much as you have to win him!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now