Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Gradually sinking

(3 Posts)
Toomuchatonce Thu 27-Mar-14 08:43:25

I have reached a stage where I know things have to change, but it seems such a huge task I don't know where to start.

My job - that I once loved - has changed so much, and staffing has been eroded to such an extent I feel as if I am constantly "firefighting" and only just keeping on top of things. I feel mentally exhausted by it. The nature of my job means it is confidential so I cannot offload much unless in supervision, which I do access regularly.

My relationship has gone stale - no sex since before Christmas, we are both emotionally detached from each other, found messages on his phone indicating he is having daily text conversations with another woman - nothing dodgy (yet) just chit chat, thing he would have used to talk about to me. I don't know whether to cut my losses or try to make it work - I am late 40s and worry about being on my own (grown up DC). The issue seems like the elephant in the room - neither of us are facing up to it.

My anxiety - I was diagnosed last year with anxiety following my son being ill, - had CBT as did not wish to medicate. I still feel anxious most of the time, like something huge and devastating is about to happen to me.

My drinking - I regularly drink so much that I don't remember what happened. I can go three or four weeks without drinking but then feel the need to get absolutely wasted.

I seem to have totally lost my confidence, having always been outgoing and busy, gradually I have lost interest in everything and do not seem to do any positive activities.

I know things have to change, but I don't know where to start.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 27-Mar-14 09:20:28

I'm sure the problems in your relationship & workplace are contributing to your anxiety and depression. If you're not talking to each other and you feel like you've been replaced, that's going to be stressful all by itself. If your job is overwhelming, that is not helping. If I was to suggest priorities I would say that you should look after your health first, get signed off work for as long as it takes to feel calmer and at the same time have an (overdue) conversation with your partner/spouse about how the current atmosphere, lack of affection and his closeness to another woman cannot continue unchanged. The way you're feeling can't be cured with CBT or medication in isolation

bumbumsmummy Thu 27-Mar-14 09:27:26

Sounds like severe stress to me please seek help

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now