I called time on our 18 year relationship just before Xmas and we agreed to separate . Stbxh is still living here while he waits for his new house to complete, we are in separate rooms and mainly staying out of each others way but trying to keep up an amicable front for sake of the dc's when they are around.
For various reasons I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore (we did Relate etc) and gave him permission to start dating when he asked..... 5 weeks after we agreed to split he's met his future life partner (as he updated his PoF profile to say and which friend spotted) , it is true love and he has found the soulmate connection be never had with me and has come to the realisation that he may have wasted the best years of his life with wrong person.
He is away from 8pm til the wee small hours of sat/sun or sat PM to Sunday avo most weeks now with her - either at hotels or at hers. I am left with the dc's and to deal with their questions as to Daddy's whereabouts and he's basically checked out totally and given up most household chores. Tbh not that different from when we were married but tonight he has pissed me off beyond belief.
..
I came home from work today to have the dc's so he could go and meet the mortgage advisor for his new house (he has never contributed to the joint mortgage but that is another story) - he allegedly had a previous appointment with him 4 weeks ago but was actually at m&s picking up her valentines undies (thanks to the dc who brought me the receipt /collection ticket from his desk as it was an appealingly coloured bit of paper). I then took the dc's to swimming club for 2 hours.... Got back no chores done.... Toys on floor, washing still in machine etc and was meant to be going out to his hobby but stayed in and his very presence has made me feel murderous.
His house is unlikely to complete for another 8 weeks or more. Our marriage had become toxic but I am sad for our kids and what could have been at times and just feel like this new relationship is being flaunted in my face while he gets to continue living in my house (it is mine) paying a contributon to bills but fuck all else with a built in babysitter, laundress and skivvy on hand and the attitude that I am the bad guy for sending the marriage so need to suck it up. I don't want to fuck up the financial settlement we have agreed so do need to suck it up but... But.... Aghhhhh.
Any tips on curtailing murderous thoughts?
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Survival tips- living with your stbxh
13 replies
bigredstapler · 26/03/2014 22:22
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