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Baby waking makes husband angry with me

(134 Posts)
Hubertscubert Tue 25-Mar-14 19:08:53

My husband works really hard in a demanding job, be is not the best sleeper. Our second baby has been a bit more challenging than the first as she has reflux, hence she has not been as good a sleeper as our elder daughter. Having said this relatively speaking I don't think she is too bad. She has gone from 7pm, fed at 10.30pm, then through to 6 am since about 4 months, but when she is having a bad spell (teething etc) she willwake at 4 am ( but generally go back down for. Dummy or bottle) n then it can tak a while to break the habit. If we have had a disturbed night my husband shouts or swears at me, and then I face an inquisition as to what went wrong. If I give him reasons he makes me feel stupid and it comes across as excuses. This morning dh had asked to get woken at 6 am, the baby woke at approx 5.45. Therefore he was in a mood with me, he said" what went on last night, what today's excuse? He said he asks other women and they say the baby should b going through the night now. I chose to say nothing.

RedRoom Tue 25-Mar-14 19:26:02

Perhaps sleep deprivation is affecting him badly at work, hence his horrible grumps. If his job is high pressure, tiredness can make that unbearable. You say he doesn't sleep well anyway, and I think he is struggling to function on the sleep he does get. No an excuse, but certainly an explanation. I used to have chronic sleep problems which made me a right bitch every morning to my wonderful, wonderful DH, so I have more sympathy than most because I know how unreasonable it can make you. Regardless, no one is more sleep deprived in your household than you, and you aren't behaving like that. I suggest he buys ear plugs. and sleeps in the room furthest from the baby. Do you have a baby monitor so that you can be alert to her waking before the crying starts?

AlistairSim Tue 25-Mar-14 19:26:24

Tell your husband you've asked other women and
they all say he's a wanker.

ThatBloodyWoman Tue 25-Mar-14 19:26:35

Hearing that has made me so bloody angry.

What a complete tosser.

Trifle Tue 25-Mar-14 19:26:49

'He asked to be woken at 6' ! What are you, his personal alarm clock. Do you have to wake up just to get him up. Words fail me.

Bondfan007 Tue 25-Mar-14 19:27:44

He sounds horrible.

ThatBloodyWoman Tue 25-Mar-14 19:28:49

Oh, and btw,you work hard in a demanding job.

He needs to stop being a bully and do his share.

spilttheteaagain Tue 25-Mar-14 19:30:11

Bloody hell, that is appalling! I would love it if my 2.5 year old slept as well as your baby - she is still waking 2-6 times a night. Your DH is deeply, deeply unreasonable and totally out of order. Why on earth is it your "fault" if the baby wakes more than usual?? It is biologically NORMAL for babies and young children to nightwake.

We tend to be more of the "go that was a bad night, how are you feeling?" to each other in the morning if it's been a hard one. Which is a normal sort of thing to say.

MoominsYonisAreScary Tue 25-Mar-14 19:31:22

The baby doesnt sound bad to me, tell him to wake himself up the knob.

Hes pissed off because the baby woke him up 15 mins early? Ha ha send him round here, sometimes ours wakes dp up two hours early and if he does it a few days on the trot dp will have him for those couple of hours so i can sleep!

Tell him to fuck off somewhere else if he doesnt like it! He sounds bloody awful

scottishmummy Tue 25-Mar-14 19:33:05

He's stressing about 15min,that's you shouldn't be considering sleep sofa

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Tue 25-Mar-14 19:34:34

My DD used to sleep from 11pm to 5am, not much different to your DD, as sleeping goes, shes a pretty good sleeper.

Your H on the other hand.............

I have a few sweary words for him.

FabBakerGirl Tue 25-Mar-14 19:34:52

Redroom- being tired didn't make you a "bitch." You are using it as an excuse. Everyone is responsible for their own behaviour.

HubertS - what would he do or say if you told your husband to grow up?

goodtimesinbontemps Tue 25-Mar-14 19:35:02

He sounds horrible, doesn't he realise that he is a parent and that's part and parcel of parenthood? He obviously sees childrearing as your job? I would think this sadly is only the tip of the iceberg in his treatment of you sad

MadameJosephine Tue 25-Mar-14 19:35:33

What an arsehole! He is 'in a mood' because HIS baby (yes she does have 2 parents!) woke him up 15 minutes before his chosen time, how dare he make you feel stupid angry

NonnoMum Tue 25-Mar-14 19:36:03

I'm with AlistairSim


Logg1e Tue 25-Mar-14 19:37:25

How dare he talk to you like that?

When he's not at work the following day, and he's getting up to see to baby, does he keep her sleeping through the night with no disturbance? hmm

ContentedSidewinder Tue 25-Mar-14 19:37:27

You only have to look on the sleep threads to know that other parents are tearing their hair out at non-sleeping babies/toddlers/children.

He is a twat, I have never said that before on MN but my god he deserves it.

Both my children had reflux, ds2 was a lot worse than ds1 but at the end of the day they are babies, not robots and they sometimes need us in the night.

What an arsehole.

Hubertscubert Tue 25-Mar-14 19:37:56

If I was to tell him to grow up he would be worse

Logg1e Tue 25-Mar-14 19:39:07

How much worse can he be?

SplitHeadGirl Tue 25-Mar-14 19:39:54

Your husband sounds like he is enjoying making you miserable and tormenting you over something that is not in any way your fault. Your baby sounds like a good wee sleeper in son was was waking around 15 times each and every night until he was almost two. I talked to other mums and they all had stories to tell me of their children waking every night. It is so common!!!

Your husband sounds so cruel. Even mentioning other women is designed to make you feel like a failure as a mum and that other mums have this licked when it is NOT true at all.

PrincessPotsie Tue 25-Mar-14 19:40:19

grin grin grin AlistairSim

What a knobhead! My DH is v similar and he annoys me no end too

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 25-Mar-14 19:40:31

We'll I think we've established your baby is normal and your dh is being an arsehole.

What's he like in other ways?

The way he speaks to you is very aggressive and unreasonable.

jasmineramsden Tue 25-Mar-14 19:40:56

Astounded reading this, what a complete WANKER. OP your baby sounds like she's doing really well, he is a total idiot how dare he question and blame you like this?!
Actually made me furious on your behalf reading this. Might do him good to read the consensus on this thread and sort his head out...

Handywoman Tue 25-Mar-14 19:41:18

What AlistairSim said

AdoraBell Tue 25-Mar-14 19:43:26

Has he asked other women what they do with husbands who turn into cunts arseholes?

ChickenFromHell Tue 25-Mar-14 19:44:13

'DH please fuck the fuck off to far side of fuck. If you can hear the baby cry - help. If you want to be a cunt buy some ear plugs.'

I also think you've got a fab sleeper, DD is up every 2 hours at 10m/o.

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