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I am useless and need help!

(6 Posts)
Missfishandchips Tue 25-Mar-14 13:58:44


Met a guy a few weeks ago, and yesterday was our 4th date (we had just arranged to hang out at my house) and we DTD.

Afterwards we were talking and cuddling and the subject of previous relationships/dating came up. I said after being cheated on by a previous partner, I'd taken a long break and he was the first person I'd dated.
He said that he'd been seeing a girl last year and she dumped him out of the blue, and it really made him question what was wrong with him etc.
He said nice guys always finish last, and that he'd never be the first one to say 'I love you' first due to fear of rejection. I said it was far too early for the I Love You speech, but I did want to know where we were going, and his reply was it's a bit too soon to go down the girlfriend/boyfriend label, and he just wants to take his time. I agreed and we left it at that.
We were totally comfortable with each other after that, and after about 7 hours he went home.
We're going to the cinema tomorrow night, and all seems normal.

What I'm asking is, do I continue down the slow route with him, or do I not put all of my eggs in one basket? I don't have any bad gut feelings about him at all, I'm just unsure how to act?

BuzzardBird Tue 25-Mar-14 14:01:35

I don't see what is wrong with just enjoying it as it is and seeing where it goes?
Don't 'act' be yourself.

VanitasVanitatum Tue 25-Mar-14 14:02:14

After four dates id say he's absolutely right not wanting to label it. Just keep doing what you're doing and get to know him, as long as he is treating you right and you don't feel he is using you for sex then why worry?

As for keeping your options open.. You can date other people if you want to, it depends how you feel about dating multiple people?

I wouldn't be comfortable with that if I was sleeping with one of them, and I would want to know he wasn't sleeping with anyone else.

Missfishandchips Tue 25-Mar-14 14:05:48

I do like him, and he assures me the feelings mutual. I got the feeling that he's waiting for me to pull the rug from underneath him.
I was feeling quite good about the chat we had, until I spoke to my friend who said it sounds like he wants the best of both worlds and wants to be single but date you? confused

But, in the meantime, I'm just going to enjoy the dates and see how things go, and I don't want to date other people...far too much like hard work! wink

HorseyTwinkleToes Tue 25-Mar-14 14:16:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

graceholl Tue 25-Mar-14 14:45:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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