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Delayed reaction to breakup?

(12 Posts)
StellaDiver Tue 25-Mar-14 10:39:36

My partner and I decided to go our separate ways in late January. We had been together 5 years and although we were still very much in love we wanted different things for the future which couldn't be compromised on. I moved out of our house earlier this month, fully expecting to be a complete emotional mess once I was alone in my new flat. But... I've been fine confused I've had a little cry a couple of times when a sad song's come on the radio, but that's it. Either I have a heart of stone, or it's going to suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks any time now. Has anyone else experienced this?!

buttonortwo Tue 25-Mar-14 12:15:53

I've had this, then the ton of bricks.. Not to say this will happen to you... You may be feeling numb, be in denial... ? Have you spoken much about it? Does it feel real?

StellaDiver Tue 25-Mar-14 12:33:22

Thank you for replying. I don't feel particularly numb or strange, I've just been getting on with things as normal, really. Keeping busy with work and going out, though I've had quiet time as well. I have spoken to friends and family about it. I spoke to one friend in particular during the lead-up to the break-up, as I knew it would have to happen one day... perhaps I'd prepared myself mentally for it happening? It was still a shock when it did though.

I'm hating not knowing if or when the ton of bricks is going to come sad

AnyFucker Tue 25-Mar-14 12:39:09

Maybe the ton of bricks won't come ? Perhaps your subconscious is so sure of your decision you are already pretty far along the path of acceptance.

StellaDiver Tue 25-Mar-14 13:07:12

Maybe. I'd expect to be missing him at the very least though! But we are staying friends and I've seen him a few times since I left. Perhaps that's helping.

AnyFucker Tue 25-Mar-14 13:09:27

Maybe. Be thankful, instead of waiting for the axe to fall ?

It doesn't always have to be an Eastenders/Jeremy Kyle emotional fuck up when people decide to part company

Innogen Tue 25-Mar-14 13:14:46

I had a breakup like this. I was fine. Occasionally weepy, but fine.

Turns out I was just very ready to move on, and knew that doing so was the right choice.

Keep doing what you are doing OP, you sound fine!

VanitasVanitatum Tue 25-Mar-14 13:18:12

I had exactly this a year ago and was the same as you. I was so torn and sad before I moved, but once it was done I actually felt positive most of the time, like I was going the right way. Occasionally had some tears but only the first couple of months.

I'm now in a new relationship with a guy who wants the same things as me and I know I made the right choice.

StellaDiver Tue 25-Mar-14 13:43:13

Thank you all. I shall try not to live in fear!

I know it doesn't always have to be a disaster, as I've had a couple of breakups before when I was fine - but in both those cases it was me who ended it, and I'd emotionally checked out of the relationship some time before the end. This time I still loved him very much, which is why I was expecting to be heartbroken.

mammadiggingdeep Tue 25-Mar-14 15:03:25

Totally felt like you...the bricks didnt come!!! Mind you, I'd spend 2 years emotionally abused. I'd done my crying!

Wishing you all the best....may your happiness continue x

StellaDiver Tue 25-Mar-14 15:21:10

Thank you and same to you - well done for getting out! smile

CurtWild Tue 25-Mar-14 17:28:49

Same here..I think I'd done my mourning for the death of our marriage while I was still in it. By the time I separated from abusive stbxh, I was emotionally done. Like a pp said, I'd done enough crying!

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