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Lonely. How do I meet a man?

(19 Posts)
lovemypillowsandduvet Mon 24-Mar-14 19:05:20

I have been single since forever, literally, and I really want to meet somebody.

How do you all meet your DPs? I haven't had any luck on the internet, so online dating isn't really a route I want to explore again.

archshoes Mon 24-Mar-14 19:08:19

Go/work where men congregate.

RalphRecklessCardew Mon 24-Mar-14 19:18:47

Are you into politics at all? Local parties can have very active leafletting and general campaigning things going on, and it seems pretty sociable.

Sport? Is there a running or cycling club near you? Maybe hillwalking? Or potholing? Or sailing?

JeanSeberg Mon 24-Mar-14 19:24:01

Speed dating?

Orangeisthenewbanana Mon 24-Mar-14 19:26:23

Join a group for an interest you have?

Ask a friend to set you up on a blind date?

Start a new hobby - main thing really is to widen your social circle I guess

handfulofcottonbuds Mon 24-Mar-14 19:27:52

My previous partners (sounds like a lot but it isn't), have all been found when I haven't been looking, when I've just been myself.

What type of partner are you looking for? What interests do you have?

I've said it before on here, smile, it works wonders.

Like your name, I love my duvet and pillows too smile

RockinD Mon 24-Mar-14 19:46:05

I met one in the local swimming pool, two at work and DH when we were both part of a community group.

I'd say follow your interests and never turn down an invitation. Often married people or couples have single friends...

lovemypillowsandduvet Mon 24-Mar-14 19:48:52

smile

Thanks.

I never seem to meet single men although my social life isn't bad it's always men in relationships or marriages I meet. Drives me mad!

Flippsy Mon 24-Mar-14 20:03:55

Potholing? Really?

lemonbabe Mon 24-Mar-14 20:05:03

How long have you actually been single ? It is rather cliché but I have to say, as soon as you start concentrating on yourself and actually forget the whole man thing - stuff starts to happen.... I've experienced this myself.

I feel desperate at the moment - hope to God, I'm not coming across as such blush As you say, most of the men I meet tend to be already in relationships OR absolutely not dating material. I'd say it's about getting yourself out there as much as possible and to step out of the comfort of your own limited social circle. Bloody easy to say, I know - that's the strategy I'm applying anyway.

lovemypillowsandduvet Mon 24-Mar-14 20:09:33

I've always been single lemon and I will soon be 33. So it isn't a temporary thing unfortunately.

lemonbabe Mon 24-Mar-14 20:31:42

Well there's a whole world out there - OD can be a bit of a minefield but has worked wonderfully for some of my close friends.

Sometimes we put up 'walls' subconsciously, it can help to talk with a professional if you've always found it hard to meet men. Sometimes, seemingly small changes can make a huge difference. The one about smiling is so true - makes you more approachable/human. For a many men approaching a woman can be too daunting.

lovemypillowsandduvet Mon 24-Mar-14 20:34:54

I am very smiley don't worry! grin

lemonbabe Mon 24-Mar-14 20:36:53

Well then I'd say you're halfway there !!! wine Here's to you finding a gorgeous man. If he's got a brother, I wanna know wink

lovemypillowsandduvet Mon 24-Mar-14 20:47:23

Hmm but I'm not as despite being a smiley, happy person, I just don't get any interest. Wish I knew what was wrong with me sad

lemonbabe Mon 24-Mar-14 20:51:32

What do friends/family, people who know you say ?

It's difficult to be objective when talking about yourself. Sometimes a constructive outside perspective helps.

Look at it from all angles: emotional, physical, mental. Would you want to go out with you ? What are your strong points ? How could you make yourself more appealing, not necessarily just physically, other ways too. What does your body language say about yourself ? How do you hold yourself when out and about. All these elements can make a difference.

lovemypillowsandduvet Mon 24-Mar-14 21:04:18

All friends and family say is how lovely I am and will definitely meet someone which is very sweet but not necessarily constructive!

lemonbabe Mon 24-Mar-14 21:50:55

But what's the resounding verdict. E.g. friends are always telling me how funny/wacky I am. Men like humour and they like a girl who doesn't take herself too seriously so I try to use this in social situations, without looking like a circus act if I can help it.

Outside of that I dared to look at my bad points, things which might put a man off. I'm trying to keep those things in check, work on them to tone them down.

Physically, I'm daring to wear things that show my body off a little more than I'm used to, but only what I can get away with - no mutton dressed as lamb thanks !!

I've added feminine touches like painted nails, good make-up and I'm on the brink of getting my teeth redone. Ok, that's quite a biggy - but I am worth it.

I also try to make more of an effort to know what's going on in the world and to be perhaps a bit better 'read'.

Imagine a woman, public figure, celeb, whatever, someone you admire or find to be an attractive person. Think about what makes them attractive and then put that back onto you - if you see what I mean.

I do get attention (sometimes) and have dated. Unfortunately, a lot of them were completely unsuitable or basket cases. Still looking, but enjoying the self-evolution process smile

TallulahMcFey Mon 24-Mar-14 22:12:30

My sister fairly recently met someone but was single for 17 years following a 9 year marriage. She made a point of making lots of female friends and trying not to turn down any invitations from her friends to go out (even if she didn't really feel like it) as you never know who you could meet on that night and also, if you don't accept then people stop asking. Friends of friends are often a good bet if you can meet single ones, as you may find they have things in common with you. But as previously said, I would consider joining a club/society or going to the gym or mixed exercises classes. Don't panic though. None of my family could believe that she was single either (as she is so lovely in looks and nature) but she was adamant she wouldn't have a relationship with just anyone and wanted to wait until the right person came along. She remembered my mum saying that "anyone can bend down and pick up nothing". When you do meet the right person, he will be worth waiting for.

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