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I think this is the end....

(7 Posts)
Omgnamechange Mon 24-Mar-14 01:44:05

Please bear with me and don't be so harsh, I have been reading the Flats in Dagenham thread and it's beginning to hit home I probably need to end my marriage....
We have two DS 3&5; outwardly H doesn't drink much, charm personified, laid back and seemingly gentle wouldn't hurt a file type of person publicly. Lately he barks at the ds and is short tempered. To cut along story short, he has sworn in front the boys in the past, which I have pulled him up on and struggles with being patient and dealing with the kids; outwardly he appears a wonderful dad and DH; I have questioned a lot lately whether it would be easier for me to be a lone parent. I pull him up on his behaviour and he does try to modify, but it's not enough (rolls back into old ways). I feel I've had enough. I have threatened ending it if he doesn't improve, I am now beginning to feel I am at that point. A couple of weeks ago the boys were fussing downstairs and he leaps up and says I'm going to kill that boy! A complete overreaction - considering I let him have a lie in and he was no way involved with the morning routine of getting ready. DS was not in ear shot he said he was just thinking it but said it out loud!? But how he could think it let alone say it out loud and in front of me! I don't feel I can leave the boys alone with him. I'm not sure where to start; The thread I referred to is making me feel there isn't away forward, it's hit home I guess. He has assured me he won't say it again but that's not right?

JeanSeberg Mon 24-Mar-14 07:10:19

No it's not right. You need to separate, get help if he won't go without a struggle.

Also get some legal advice.

niceupthedance Mon 24-Mar-14 07:16:15

If you've had enough then end the relationship, but remember you won't be able to police his language on access visits.

Handywoman Mon 24-Mar-14 08:25:15

First stop: see a solicitor, second step find out what benefits/tax credits you would be entitled to. Third step: enlist RL support. When you can, please leave. My X was like this and despite ultimatums it only got worse. My X was also a charming, patient, hands-on Dad in public. You and only you know how bad it is. Stay strong and keep posting. Sorry this is happening.

Omgnamechange Mon 24-Mar-14 09:02:13

Thanks for your kind words, I will have to get some advice, I would want to do it as amicably as possible, if that is possible. I have more at stake. Handy woman did you report your ex I'm thinking ahead about the whole access thing. H having to manage the boys and like nice up the dance said not having any control about the access visits.

Handywoman Mon 24-Mar-14 09:14:45

Omg no I did not report the X, he never actually laid a finger on them. Just had a constant level of anger and very short fuse and it was mostly directed at me. IME SS are not interested unless there is physical violence.

Omgnamechange Mon 24-Mar-14 09:31:00

Ok thanks for that, will make some calls this morning.

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