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Holy shit! Can't believe I am considering this!!

(45 Posts)
Bigbird01 Sun 23-Mar-14 19:04:15

I'm single. Have a friend who I know through a group of friends so know his wife kids etc. we get on very well and all has been fine and I admit that I have had a bit of a soft spot for him but have never acted on it!

Suddenly he has become very flirtatious with me. Last time we were together he kissed me (we were both drunk) and now he has made it very clear that he'd like to see a lot more of me 'wink wink'! For some stupid unknown reason I didn't tell to fuck right off! What is wrong with me?? Now I feel guilty, terrified how I'm going to react when he next contacts me and, even worse, actually really excited about seeing him.

I'm not religious, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell if don't get myself out of this!!

Help! What do I do??

expatinscotland Sun 23-Mar-14 19:05:14

Tell him no.

mammadiggingdeep Sun 23-Mar-14 19:06:48

Tell him no. Then ask yourself why you didn't push him away when he kissed you, seeing as you know his wife and all.

bebows Sun 23-Mar-14 19:07:39

Do you fancy a bit of naughty slap and tickle? It could be very exciting smile

Biscuitsneeded Sun 23-Mar-14 19:07:54

You tell him you like him very much, but he's not in a position to be flirting with you and it is unfair on you, his wife and his kids, and you WALK AWAY.

irrationalme Sun 23-Mar-14 19:08:54

He's playing 'You're It Shag'

run for the hills

antimatter Sun 23-Mar-14 19:09:38

don't do it - it may spoil your friendships
also - he is probably trying it on other friends as well
so you may be one of many of his flirts

puppadompreach Sun 23-Mar-14 19:09:45

bebows did you miss the fact the man is married?

Obviously it's a no, unless he's in an open marriage (you'd want to check this with his wife, I'd imagine...)

Logg1e Sun 23-Mar-14 19:12:33

Er, stop treating this as though it's akin to eating the last biscuit in the barrel? Think, for a second about his wife and children? Or perhaps tell the other women in your friendship group that he's already cheated on his wife with you?

Dahlen Sun 23-Mar-14 19:12:44

Indulge the fantasy for a moment. Think about the great sex you might have.

Now play it out to its conclusion. The odds of you both having a bit of fun that you mutually and amicably decide to end at the same time are very, very slim. Far more likely is that one of you wants more than the other is prepared to give, or that you are caught. Who in their right minds would trade a little bit of nooky for the misery of experiencing unrequited love, the constant anxiety inherent in living a lie, or the social ostracism of being the publicly named and shamed OW. Because make no bones about it OP, as the woman you will be the one who takes the fall out if this affair becomes public.

The best way to avoid this is to get your life in a state where this sort of opportunity is seen for the poisoned chalice it is. If you want sex and to feel desired, start dating people who are free to date. IF you need validation about your worth as a person, see a therapist.

SilkStalkings Sun 23-Mar-14 19:13:45

He is fantasising and looking for a bit of escapism, a toy if you will. He may not mean to actually go further but if you lay yourself on a plate, things are going to 'just happen'. If you don't want to be treated like a toy, don't act like one.

crispyporkbelly Sun 23-Mar-14 19:14:01

Bebow - are you the married bloke?

WeAreDetective Sun 23-Mar-14 19:17:36

Don't. Just don't.

mammadiggingdeep Sun 23-Mar-14 19:21:14

Bebow is prob a man getting off on the idea of a woman considering an affair with a mm.

Guitargirl Sun 23-Mar-14 19:24:17

You could have some self-respect and tell him to piss off. Am assuming that you don't have children?

FragglerockAmpersand Sun 23-Mar-14 19:24:59

Well, obviously not hmm

Come on, now. Think of the aftermath. The sex will be crap, anyway. He's just sniffing out a woman silly enough to give him a bit of sordid excitement away from family responsibilities.

Tell him to fuck off and go and either have a wank or go and find a single man who's not a total douche.

AnyFucker Sun 23-Mar-14 19:25:24

Yes, what is wrong with you ?

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Sun 23-Mar-14 19:26:19


TeaAndALemonTart Sun 23-Mar-14 19:28:21

Eww, what a cunt. Avoid or tell his wife, you'll be doing her a favour.

headlesslambrini Sun 23-Mar-14 19:28:49

How old are the kids? Can you live with breaking up a family.

thornrose Sun 23-Mar-14 19:29:09

Help what do I do? and you asked this on relationships?

What do you expect people to say, really?

handfulofcottonbuds Sun 23-Mar-14 19:30:47

Do you really need to ask opinions on this?

Have some self respect - it will only lead to unbelievable pain.

The man has a wife and children fgs!!!

Gorran Sun 23-Mar-14 19:31:09

Err, he's married with children? You walk away. That's it.

mammadiggingdeep Sun 23-Mar-14 19:32:05

And the title is

'Cant believe I'm
Considering this'

No, nor can I. It's a bit...desperate...don't you think??

SilkStalkings Sun 23-Mar-14 19:32:31

Fantasies are all very nice but icky reality kicks in as soon as you've orgasmed (if you're that lucky.)

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