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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

WWYD

(36 Posts)
feelinghothothot Sun 23-Mar-14 18:30:40

When your DP's best friend confesses he is in love with you. Would you tell DP or disavow?

Trooperslane Sun 23-Mar-14 18:33:00

Distance. Make light of and avoid at all costs.

mansize Sun 23-Mar-14 18:34:49

Tell him. Why should it be your responsibly to creep around and be secretive about this? Also consider how it may look if your DP finds out that he's told you.

feelinghothothot Sun 23-Mar-14 18:35:42

Yes, that's what I am worried about

AnguaResurgam Sun 23-Mar-14 18:36:14

I would not tell DP.

I would make sure I was never alone with this friend again.

It'll pass.

FabBakerGirl Sun 23-Mar-14 18:36:36

Immediately tell.

If it comes out later you could be accused of all sorts.

How do you feel about the friend? How are things with your partner? Is there any reason the friend thinks you are available?

DrankSangriaInThePark Sun 23-Mar-14 18:36:39

Tell him. Because his friend, isn't....is he?

You both need shot of the "friend".

GimmeDaBoobehz Sun 23-Mar-14 18:38:15

I'd distance unless he made a move like tried to kiss me, constantly badgered me with texts after telling him to leave me alone etc.

If he doesn't leave you alone, then I'd tell your partner.

If you do end up needing to do this save the messages in case partner believes friend.

hillyhilly Sun 23-Mar-14 18:38:41

This happened to us, by text, I told DH of course, why wouldn't I?
Repercussions were huge, we have barely seen ex friend since (6 Years).

feelinghothothot Sun 23-Mar-14 18:39:11

I think DP picked up a vibe yesterday which is why friend did it. 'Nothing to lose' situation. DP got angry and they had a bit of a bust up. They are currently not talking

handfulofcottonbuds Sun 23-Mar-14 18:39:55

Be honest with your DP. Hiding things only leads to problems. You've done nothing wrong here.

feelinghothothot Sun 23-Mar-14 18:41:06

Sorry, that was badly written. The vibe caused the argument, and the text came at 2:10am...

crispyporkbelly Sun 23-Mar-14 18:41:49

I would tell my partner

LettertoHermioneGranger Sun 23-Mar-14 18:51:39

Absolutely tell DP. You've done nothing wrong, but keeping this a secret from him would very wrong. You don't have reason to hide it.

feelinghothothot Sun 23-Mar-14 19:10:22

This is a very hard decision.

FabBakerGirl Sun 23-Mar-14 19:40:01

So your DP sensed that his friend liked you, you had a row about it in front of "friend" and he sent a chancing text at 2am?

FabBakerGirl Sun 23-Mar-14 19:40:51

confused what decision is hard?

Drama llama

Joysmum Sun 23-Mar-14 20:19:40

Why would I not trust my DH's reactions to consider not telling him. I'd be very selfish and consider the health of our relationship as being more important than his relationship with his best friend.

Earlybird Sun 23-Mar-14 20:23:04

Do you reciprocate the feelings expressed by the friend?
Have you done anything directly or indirectly to actively encourage?

Dahlen Sun 23-Mar-14 20:26:21

I would tell. Because I have the sort of DP who I know would treat the information sensitively in terms of respect for his BF but who would also trust me not to have contributed to the situation. If you don't have that kind of relationship, you have other problems in addition to a friend who doesn't understand boundaries suffering from unrequited love.

feelinghothothot Mon 24-Mar-14 09:58:10

No, fab, that's now how it went at all. And, no, I don't feel the same way about him. I like him very much as a friend, have not encouraged either him or the text

gamerchick Mon 24-Mar-14 10:02:34

You need to tell him.. its a no brained, unless you secretly like the attention.

There isn't anything wrong with a bit of an ego boost don't get me wrong but not telling him means you both have a secret from your partner.

AnyFucker Mon 24-Mar-14 10:10:59

Tell him

Bowlersarm Mon 24-Mar-14 10:12:44

I wouldn't tell him.

That sort of incident is best left to fade over time.

Unless you have feelings for the friend. Are you sure you don't?

LegoCaltrops Mon 24-Mar-14 10:13:49

You need to tell your DH if you value your relationship. Imagine you would feel if the tables were turned, how would you want your DH to act if it were a female friend of yours?

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