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Ex-p trying to spy on me!

(54 Posts)
MoonshineWashingLine Sun 23-Mar-14 07:40:11

I am seething right now! Some of you may remember my other threads but I need to vent and also could do with fresh advice on this one. Ex-p has hit a new low.

When he left (i asked him to leave) last week he took the laptop with him, I didn't mind as it was for his work and I have my phone anyway. So fast forward to Friday (we met at play centre so he could see dd) and he says 'you can have the laptop for the weekend, I have my sister's one, but watch it because it has a virus' so I didn't even ask for the laptop but I said ok and took it. He also said not to shut it down, just hibernate it otherwise the virus messes it up. After I checked my bank and emails this 'virus' was doing my head in so I tried to get rid if it. Scanned using avg etc and found nothing so I had a look in the history to see if he'd been on any dodgy websites. Within seconds I find a whole load of searches and downloads of key loggers, spying software and even remote monitoring software! He had download at least 4 key loggers and after my friend looked at yesterday it we also found that the webcam appears to be recoring constantly but we cannot find where it is being saved! He had even downloaded a programme to make it look like the laptop has a virus when it hasn't!! Needless to say I am mortified he could stoop so low.

My passwords are now all changed (used different laptop!) And I have informed the police. Not just about the laptop spying but the whole history of his abuse. I feel much better having done so. Today I am going to block him on Facebook and set up an email address solely for contacting him.

Does anyone know anything about the legality of his spying actions? The police officer I spoke to didn't know anything about computers so he struggled to grasp the gravity of it. He took the whole thing very seriously though and was very honest and helpful.

Ex-p doesn't know about any of this yet but he will do very soon. I am still very scared of him and will be getting the locks changed too. Thankfully I have amazing friends and family who have been there for me. One of my friends is staying on my sofa at the moment so I'm not on my own.

Also I want to say thank you to all the people on here who have replied to my other threads and helped me to get to this point. I regret nothing.

Lweji Sun 23-Mar-14 07:48:50

I would have expected that the police needed to analyse the computer to gather evidence.

MoonshineWashingLine Sun 23-Mar-14 07:54:26

That's what I thought but the officer said that because it's not a 'black and white crime' that they wouldn't do that. I might call them again today and push for them to have a look at it.

MoonshineWashingLine Sun 23-Mar-14 07:55:38

The officer I saw said to take it to a computer repair type place to get it looked at.

Bluestocking Sun 23-Mar-14 07:58:00

Can't you just give the laptop back to him without using it? Sorry if I'm missing the point. Although what he's done makes him sound nuts, I don't suppose that downloading this type of software onto your own laptop and then lending it to your ex for the weekend is a crime.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 23-Mar-14 07:59:14

In purely criminal terms think it depends who owns the laptop. If you shared ownership I believe he's allowed to download/install anything he likes within reason. Plenty of people on this very board suggest installing keyloggers to get evidence on cheats etc and, although I think it's unwise, I don't think anyone has been actually prosecuted for doing so

In a wider context of ongoing abuse OTOH it's highly relevant. If you are scared of him already, this is more evidence of intrusive behaviour. If you are trying to get something like a non-molestation order or supervised access, it will help build a case. I'm glad you notified the police.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Sun 23-Mar-14 07:59:55

Yes my ex did this too.

I didn't phone police as I was shocked and didn't even think about the police. He went through the entire history of my facebook messages and contacted several male friends.


Hope your ok

magoria Sun 23-Mar-14 08:02:20

Acidentally format the HDD?

suitsyousir Sun 23-Mar-14 08:04:03

Sounds like an offence against sec 1 of the computer misuse act for starters.

It will definitely need the laptop professionally examined which (depending on the force) could well take a year or even longer.

suitsyousir Sun 23-Mar-14 08:06:23

It sounds like he is trying to access your data, so thats where the illegality of it would come in. Unfortunately the Police are likely to file this in the too hard/too much hassle column.

chateauferret Sun 23-Mar-14 08:09:18

WTF does he mean, "not a black-and-white crime?" It's an offence under the Computer Misuse Act 1993. It may be his PC but he's giving you use of it and not subject to any particular conditions. The Act makes it an offence to procure unauthorised access to computer material, it doesn't matter who owns the computer.

Go back to the polis and insist that they go over him and his laptop with tweezers. Also tell your solicitor.

You could always phone him up and tell him helpfully that you've "fixed" the problem and it's now all working normally, if you enjoy panicked gurgling sounds and spluttering.

Walkacrossthesand Sun 23-Mar-14 08:09:46

Interesting Wikipedia link, suitsyou - but from a look at the 3 main points of the Act, it doesn't cover someone downloading stuff onto their own PC - it's about unauthorised access to computers, ie hacking, as far as I can see.

Lweji Sun 23-Mar-14 08:09:56

I don't think anyone should look or open it now apart from the police.
I have found the Police Central e-crime Unit - PCeU, but not a contact number. I'd expect that the local police would refer to them. On the other hand, they say to report e-crime to Action Fraud
But, it may fall under the DV unit.

suitsyousir Sun 23-Mar-14 08:10:35

Im with magoria, try to reformat the HDD "by accident" or see if the key loggers etc could be removed by a friend/pc shop.

Walkacrossthesand Sun 23-Mar-14 08:11:02

X-posted with ferret who obvs knows much more about it!

FunkyBoldRibena Sun 23-Mar-14 08:13:43

Does the laptop belong to him, you, both or his work?

suitsyousir Sun 23-Mar-14 08:14:23

walkacrossthesand - sec 1 refers to unauthorised access to material. That can be used to refer to her material (email/bank details etc)

chateauferret Sun 23-Mar-14 08:14:37

Computer Misuse Act 1990, I mean.

PartialFancy Sun 23-Mar-14 08:17:28

Don't take it to a computer shop or mess with it at all if you want a prosecution! You'll be destroying evidence.

chateauferret Sun 23-Mar-14 08:18:24

Well walk across I only looked it up in Wikipedia, and IANAL, but it does seem clear from that. Also of course hacking into someone's online banking for instance is straightforward fraud no matter how it's done.

PartialFancy Sun 23-Mar-14 08:19:36

Is this laptop owned by his employer?

chateauferret Sun 23-Mar-14 08:21:36

If it's owned by him employer his feet won't touch the floor!


Lweji Sun 23-Mar-14 08:23:50

For all we know he could have used it to access the OP bank accounts, or her emails for who knows what. Even shopping sites where her card may be registered.

The fact that he offered to lend the computer and warned her about the virus and told her not to shut the computer is very suggestive evidence that it was done with ill intent.

dawntigga Sun 23-Mar-14 08:25:57

what he did was out of order, but why were you using a laptop with a 'virus' to check email/bank stuff?


MoonshineWashingLine Sun 23-Mar-14 08:27:16

Thanks for the replies, it's a shared laptop, we both paid in to buy it.

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