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How long did you wait before DTD?

(58 Posts)
Bumblebeepie Sat 22-Mar-14 13:36:22

Ok, in past relationships I've jumped in far too quickly on this front. However, I've met someone I'm really keen on and for some reason I feel like I want to wait longer with him, I've never had this before. I just wondered if anyone else has had this strange phenomenon of liking someone so much you want to wait and make it really meaningful, and how long did you wait?

mansize Sat 22-Mar-14 13:59:14

As long as you feel like...? When it feels right...? It depends what your definition of a long time is. Personally, I would not sleep with somebody I'd just met for a couple of weeks or so, depending on how often we saw each other and how I felt about him.

What you shouldn't do is rush into sleeping with him because you think he'll lose interest if you don't.

CrystalBeth Sat 22-Mar-14 14:02:06

First date, still together two years later smile

CrystalBeth Sat 22-Mar-14 14:04:11

Should add we both weren't look in for a relationship, we basically met for casual sex, but after that first shag we both knew this was something different, I don't think waiting would have made it any more special.

Raxacoricofallapatorius Sat 22-Mar-14 14:07:55

6 months. But I was a teenager and there's only ever been dh iyswim.

Greeneyesxx Sat 22-Mar-14 14:08:09

I have a 3 date rule smile

MirandaWest Sat 22-Mar-14 14:09:38

I did on the third date but didn't realise until afterwards this was a general thing.

Bumblebeepie Sat 22-Mar-14 14:10:29

greeneyes 3 dates minimum or maximum??grin

MyNameIsKenAdams Sat 22-Mar-14 14:11:08

First date.

been together eleven years, married with one dc and another on the way.

mansize Sat 22-Mar-14 14:14:51

Surely it needs to be at least fourth date to weed out the ones who know they'll be in there on the third?

Bumblebeepie Sat 22-Mar-14 14:16:14

mansize in my experience when I do rush in they lose interest hmm

Bumblebeepie Sat 22-Mar-14 14:17:21

maybe I scare them off with my insatiable appetite grin

Bumblebeepie Sat 22-Mar-14 14:19:58

mansize good point the 3 date rule is becoming such the norm.....I'm going to see if I can hold out beyond 4!! ha, I will shock myself if I do!!

noddyholder Sat 22-Mar-14 14:21:55

Couple of hours been together 22 years

Branleuse Sat 22-Mar-14 14:24:56

first date.

been together 8 years

KiteSurfer Sat 22-Mar-14 14:34:14

About 6mths with most of my previous relationships but approx 2 wks with now DH.

He wanted me to take my clothes off after we had our first kiss (we were at his house!!) shock but I managed to hold out for 2 weeks. smile

offside Sat 22-Mar-14 14:47:22

I knew my DP was "The One" when I wanted to wait, even for a kiss (didn't happen until the 2nd date, so not long I suppose) and we didn't DTD until we were "offical" and even then not until a couple of weeks into it. So at least 8 weeks after our first date, 10 weeks after we met. We saw each other at least twice a week in that time.

My DP said that it made him like me even more and it meant we got to know each other a bit first before turning things physical. I look back on that time together before things got physical and still think fondly of it and I'm so happy that's how we did it. It also meant that we were more comfortable when we eventually did DTD and as cheesy as it sounds, it was made it quite special.

Whereas my exes, things happened very quickly, even down to living together straight away. And I soon realised I didnt really like who they were as people.

It definitely made a difference for us, but as this thread as pointed out, everyone's different.

Bumblebeepie Sat 22-Mar-14 14:54:41

Thank you offside.....thats exactly what I was talking about. I've got such a special feeling about this one and it's weird because it has made me want to wait more, something I've never felt or done before...glad I'm not the only one smile

noddyholder Sat 22-Mar-14 15:11:33

How can you be sure someone is the one before you have had sex? What if its not good?

Marne Sat 22-Mar-14 15:20:53

ASAP grin ,you don't want to be falling in love with someone who is useless in bed.

I think with dh we waited a while but (maybe a few weeks, after a few dates) but its the longest I have waited with anyone, when I was young (and stupid) I would sleep with them before deciding if I wanted a relationship with them (makes me sound like a slut and I probably was).

elQuintoConyo Sat 22-Mar-14 15:31:06

3 months. We were both shy young virgins. Together 16 years now, married 4, 1 dc.


Lweji Sat 22-Mar-14 15:32:36

You don't want to build up expectations about it too much either. You may be disappointed, or he may feel too pressured.

MoominIsWaitingToMeetHerMiniMe Sat 22-Mar-14 15:37:17

We'd been together 2 months. I was 16 and we're still together.

I'd probably have done it sooner, but my first boyfriend, after giving me my first kiss, reached up my top and gave me my first grope too hmm and that was only the start, so I was a little bit wary of rushing into it with this one, but he's worth it grin

offside Sat 22-Mar-14 15:43:18

From my experience, sex has been better when the connection is deeper and it's more emotional.

It works the other way too, what if you jump into bed someone straight away but the person you find them out to be is not very attractive, regardlesa of how good in bed they are, it isn't enjoyable. Not for me either. I like to connect on a deeper more emotional level. You can work on the sex, you can make a person change.

fs2013 Sat 22-Mar-14 15:45:34

I think people rush it all the time. It will mean more when you really care about each other. Personally I wouldn't put a time on it, I would wait until it feels right..even if it is a few months!

I don't do crap sex anymore, crap sex happens when you don't know someone well enough to communicate sexually or feel shy with them in bed. The best sex I ever had was after a year of friendship that turned into deep love, sex was explosive!

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