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Ex moving to Australia and deserting his kids :(

(11 Posts)
getmeoutofthismadhouse Thu 20-Mar-14 15:00:58

This isn't as straight forward because in 2012 my children were taken into care. In less than 2 years they have lost everything , their home, their family , their friends , their animals , their school and now their Dad's girlfriend informs me today that he has thrown in his job and goin to Aus to be with her (shes a 53 Granny from australia , hes 30 , she gave up her failing marriage to be with him, they have met once in the year theyve been together !)
I am at a loss now because my heart is breaking for my children. They see us 6 times a year atm and things are really tough. They were moved to final carers before xmas and atm my son is playing up and they think hes finding his feet . How is this gonna affect him . Hes 10 in june and close to my ex (not bio Dad but extremely close calls him Dad ) my nearly 7 year old daughter its gonna break her heart :,(
What do I do next? I have phoned social worker but shes not in the office . My poor children they have lost so much. He isnt a man to desert his children when they need him and his girlfriend is just a mad woman she has had my feelings given to her . A man I spent 7 years with, a man who used to idolise every hair on my childrens heads , about to walk away from them .... I'm devastated for them and am struggling ....

Lweji Thu 20-Mar-14 16:17:04

Could I ask why you can't have them?

Isetan Thu 20-Mar-14 17:28:46

The "Mad Woman" isn't the reason your Ex is moving to the other side of the world, she's the excuse he gives to distract you from the fact that he is choosing not to prioritise your children. As bad as him leaving is, not being with their mother is probably a greater concern for them.

gamerchick Thu 20-Mar-14 17:36:10

Unfortunately there isn't very much you can do. Nobody can force him to stay sadly.

What would you like to see happen?

Lweji Thu 20-Mar-14 17:39:41

Is that the ex who was abusive?

Seaofyou Thu 20-Mar-14 18:33:08

Why was the kids taken into care? How many kids are there? Is any of the kids bio dad the ex moving to Oz? Do you both still have parental rights? If could you ask him to give his up as needing his permission for operations etc could prove tricky.
Dont worry about him leaving just concentrate on your kids. The trauma of reason they were taken into care would worry me more than this man having effect on not seeing them esp as only 6 times a year.

GhettoPrincess001 Thu 20-Mar-14 20:59:58

They lost everything.......(thanks for caring) What, you just stood by and watched ?

OP, you're the real victim in this, of course.

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 20-Mar-14 21:15:26

OP, his new girlfriend is not your concern. He and his feelings are not your concern. Getting your children out of care and back home should be your first and only concern.

What steps are you taking to bring your children home?

Sammysilver Fri 21-Mar-14 12:14:56

I assume final care orders were made because it was considered to be in the children's best interests. They are final. Therefore it's not about fighting the OP 'fighting to get them back'. I'm sorry to hear, OP.

Lweji Fri 21-Mar-14 12:21:11

Just saying that if the children had to be taken in, it doesn't look like this is father of the year anyway, so not that surprising that he is capable of leaving them.
And, although the OP hasn't been back yet, I wonder how the OP's heart is now breaking for them, but somehow they ended up in care.
In fact, I wonder if the children aren't actually better without this man.

And why is his girlfriend contacting you and you know so much about her?

My heart definitely breaks for the children, but not for him leaving to Australia.

GinSoakedMisery Fri 21-Mar-14 12:27:49

Does she live in Australia? I take it if they've only met once in a year then it is an online romance. He sounds an idiot jacking his job in and moving to Australia. I doubt he is moving there though as he first needs to prove he has a job there and also needs a sponsor, this would have to be someone who has money to provide for him should his job fail.

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