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supporting dm regardless

(4 Posts)
unnaturalchild Tue 18-Mar-14 13:27:34

I had a huge row with my mother during which I was accused of not supporting her. Apparently because she is my mother I should support her against anyone regardless of the situation or rights and wrongs of the situation.
To give the context she was sent an insulting text by someone (call them person A)- person A thinks that my mother had hurt them in the past maliciously (person A had discovred more evidence of this following a bereavement in their family); I thought person A had overreacted. However, my mother wanted me to basically cut off person A- to support her (my mum) without restriction etc to condemn pesron A and basically to sympathise whole heartedly only with her. My reaction was that I thought the text was wrong but I could understand why Person A had sent it that they were really emotionally unbalanced at the moment due to the bereavement and post bereavement discoveries so i wasn't prepared to do all this. My mother told me that as her daughter i had to take her side, there was no being fair and rationale about it- and let forth a stream of vitriol.
Am i unnatural? I think person A's action was arong (and told her so) but I don't see my duty to stand by my mother reagrdless or do what she says just becasue she was my mother. I think she was looking to force an ultimatum.

Notthecleverest Tue 18-Mar-14 13:30:58

Forcing an ultimatum often backfires. Sounds like you were balanced about it and I wonder if there is a bit of guilt on your mother's part that requires you to fully back her to prove to her that she was in the right..

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 18-Mar-14 13:54:42

Taking sides conspicuously just aggravates the situation. My DM had the same conviction "Family first no matter what" so I sympathise.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 18-Mar-14 15:15:27

Not unnatural. My DM is now quite elderly, gets the wrong end of the stick a lot of the time and, as a result, has been picking fights with neighbours over nothing at all. If I stick up for her over the neighbours I look as nutty as she is. If I point out she's got the wrong end of the stick and they probably haven't maliciously planted a dandelion in her hanging basket, it arrived on the wind, I'm taking their side...... <sigh>

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