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I think I'm marrying for the wrong reasons and I'm wobbling on it.

(26 Posts)
joggingonwardandupwards Tue 18-Mar-14 10:05:56

A few months ago I was desperate for DP to propose. I'm mid thirties and never been married. He had so I suppose I felt hard done to in a way, jealous that he married her but not me, I wanted the proof that he loved me enough to marry me ... anyway I went on at him and he proposed.

Thing is, now I'm not sure I really want to marry! Now that I've had the proposal I think a small part of me is thinking "good, you proved you loved me enough to ask for marriage, that's all I needed". Do I actually need or want the marriage and if so, why?

If I'm really honest with myself it's for all the wrong reasons. Financial security (I work full time and can support myself but he earns a lot more and together we're very comfortable financially). The house? (in his name, if we married I would have entitlement to it). The commitment? How many married men/women have affairs? it's no guarantee of commitment is it?

I keep thinking about how much I loved being single, having total power over how my house looked, whether I had pets or not, how the money was spent - but god I'm miss him so much if we ever split and I DO love him.

I suppose the ultimate was when I found myself researching the logistics of divorce on the internet a few days ago and thinking "shit, marriages are REALLY difficult to get out of!"

This isn't the way a happy bride to be should be thinking is it?

Or is this normal pre-marriage wobbles?

WherewasHonahLee Thu 20-Mar-14 21:51:08

But if you contribute nothing to what was his home, why should you be entitled to any of it in divorce (assuming there are no children)?

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