Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Scared to start dating

(4 Posts)
Stillcomingtoterms Mon 17-Mar-14 21:49:13

Stbxh and I separated 5 months ago.
It's been a amicable split and things are now settled.
So as much as I've enjoyed my own company over the past few months I'm umming and arhing over if I want to start dating.
Realistically as I'm never going to meet any single men through work/out then the option is online dating.
However I'm scared to try it.

I worry that no one will like the look of me , people I know may see me on there and think I'm desperate or that I'll end up meeting lots of knobheads and then feel depressed about it all.
Whereas now even if I would like someone to flirt with and have some fun at least I'm still feeling fairly confident about myself and life.
How did you make the plunge?

Theoldhag Tue 18-Mar-14 00:15:36

Give yourself time op to heal, you have not long split up with your husband. If you did decide to od then my advise would be to find a site that you can hide your profile from searches, this will allow you to have on line privacy (no colleagues seeing you) and you can contact those men that you feel might be worth a go.

Basic internet dating hygiene tips are:

Have a separate email that is in your online dating name, one that isn't linked to any identifiable information. This will allow you to block should you need to.

Don't give out your phone number untill you are comfortable, use skype instead. Again separate skype id and one that is linked to your online dating persona. This allows you to block should you need to, see the person before you meet.

Never give out your full name or address untill you are comfortable, it is very easy to find peoples private lives, past, family etc and you do not want to be putting yourself at risk.

Always let a friend know where you will meet the date and let them know what time you will be home, a quick text to friend when you have arrived home is wise, make sure it is somewhere that you can make an escape exit should you need to and is public.

Never leave a drink unattended, you will be surprised as to how many woman are given spiked drinks with 'date rape' drug.

Always worth looking up your date to make sure that he is who he says he is, not married, or has made the news/has a conviction against his name. This is not stalking this is good practice and helps to keep you safe.
Googling his online dating persona may bring up other sites he might be on, always good to see if potential dates spend all their time on online dating sites. Again not good if you end up liking a guy and he is just pissing around.

Just a few pointers I say to friends.

Theoldhag Tue 18-Mar-14 00:17:56

Ps there are some lovely men out there, I have been blessed, just had to go thru a few to get there!

good luck thanks

Stillcomingtoterms Tue 18-Mar-14 21:56:45

Theoldhag. Thanks for all that of. I hadn't thought of any of it.
now I'm worrying I could end up with an odd ball not just a idiot! smile

It'll seem strange not to just hand out my mobile number. I was with my husband for twenty years so dating with technology is all new to me. I'm too naive!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now