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Stupid nasty prick i hate him!!!

(11 Posts)
Ruineditall Mon 17-Mar-14 19:45:19

"D"p walked out on us sunday after months of rows sometimes caused by my pmt and sometimes caused by him been a selfish controlling bully (i dont know why i stuck it out) hes now taking great pleasure in reminding me that i am nothing and wont ever have anything i will die lonely that my dcs will hate me i could go on. I would never speak to him like that. Hes so hateful towards me. Ive accepted its over. Ive told him i will leave him alone and only contact him re dc but yet he keeps on at me.

Smilesandpiles Mon 17-Mar-14 19:49:53

He's just being an arse.

Ignore the twat. You've got the better end of the deal and he knows it.

MuttonCadet Mon 17-Mar-14 19:54:11

Why wouldn't you give it him back in spades? I certainly would (but not in text or e-mail, only ever by telephone).

By the way, this is probably awful advice and you should carry on trying to be reasonable in the face of EXTREME provocation.

Ruineditall Mon 17-Mar-14 19:56:37

I havnt though not really. I have no friends or family. Just me and dc no savings ive got a roof to keep over out heads. Hes moved back in with family no worries tea on the table washing ironing done can come and go as he wants. But hes still being a prick with me

Smilesandpiles Mon 17-Mar-14 19:59:50

He's the one who has nothing. You are in your own home, doing everything and doing it well without him.

So what if you haven't got savings, most people haven't. Especially people in your position.

Your kids will grow up and you will be able to get into a better position. He can't. He'll always be a prick.

Ruineditall Mon 17-Mar-14 20:00:52

mutton i have given it back but im at that point now that i cant be arsed. I just want to get my head in a good place. I suppose when ive really thought about ive realised that this is for the best. I should have listened when people told me how much hard work he is.

Hissy Mon 17-Mar-14 20:02:00

Oh how very dull and predictable he is.

They all say this.

Actually (and they know this) the absolute opposite applies. It's what they most fear for themselves so they hurl it at us because it's the worst thing they can think of.

Hurl it back to see how they shrivel up like slugs in salt. But hurl it back with ice cold calm fury.

These are the facts:
You will be happier without him.
Your kids will flourish (within days, watch for it!)
You will soar back to the heights you were before he dragged you down
Your kids will love you for this
They will admire you for this, not hate you.

The more this twat hurls at you, the more you know you're scaring him with your strength! smile

Stay safe, stay focussed and don't let him back in your lives, not for anything!

RatherBeRiding Mon 17-Mar-14 20:05:54

Don't speak to him. Don't respond to his provocation. Keep any contact re: dcs to non-verbal [text or email] and ONLY speak about the dcs. If he continues the verbal abuse inform him that any further contact must be through your solicitor.

Theoldhag Mon 17-Mar-14 20:06:30

Minimise any contact you have with this man, in your shoes I would go to csa for maintainance thus cutting communication on that point.

Make sure that you have a court ordered contact if he has any dc with you, cutting communication and game playing on that possible issue.

Block him from contacting you untill he learns to have some manners towards you. Have a pay as you go phone just for communicating with him about dc, only using text or email (set up an acc just for this communication). Blocking him on all other avenues such as your usual email/phone etc.

Do not let him abuse you like this.

Seeking help from your gp may be useful, some councelling for instance. This will give you much needed support whilst you adjust to things.

About your pmt, there are practical things that you can do to make YOUR life easier, such as making sure that the few days you suffer from it are made easier by planning ahead and spending those days doing the minimum needed to keep things going (make sure that house chores are up to date etc). Let your dc know that you need those days to be quieter, calmer etc. I advise friends to be honest with their dc and say I am on my period and need some head space. Things like headphones and iPod help, quiet walks, lots of fresh veg and fruit, water, nice long baths. Some herb teas can help eg, scull cap, valerian, hops and passiflora. Raspberry leaf tea can help for the physical side and star flower oil for the hormonal drops that occurre. It really is worth your while to learn the effects of the different hormones, when they peak and fall during your cycle, this will give you a better understanding of your cycle and you can as I have suggested plan for the down days.

Have you any real life support?

And let your dc teachers etc know what is happening for them, they may need some support to.

Good luck and hope that you will feel better about things soon thanks

Deathwatchbeetle Mon 17-Mar-14 22:29:43

And if the nasty fucker suggests getting back together, remind him of what he said to you and tell him to fuck off.

You may find your PMT is better now the irritant has left!

MichaelFinnigan Mon 17-Mar-14 22:34:18

You have got a family, you've got your DC

And presumably the people who told you he's no good are friends of a sort?

Be strong. Things will get better

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