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Epic fail?

(33 Posts)
newsandreviews Mon 17-Mar-14 05:24:29

You may have seen other posts about trying to move on from emotionally abusive control freak. I have done a week. I was in absolute pieces yesterday and felt my depresssion getting a really hard strong grip and suffocating me. I rang him. He didn't answer. 2 hours later a text saying sorry missed call was cutting grass. I did not respond as i was doing my online Freedom program. half hour later he rings. tells me we are never getting back together. i need to move on. we want different things. i persuade him to come over last night with every intention of going to bed with him. and we do. nothing sorted. not back together. i still don't want to be with him. well i don't think. head no, heart yes.

just dont know what to do now. he is a liar

however, depression feels lifted and strangely i feel a little empowered cause i got him to come back.

no doubt it will return today though... depression not him!!!!

newsandreviews Tue 18-Mar-14 09:35:55

ann not an iphone

blu - yes I know no contact is the only way. Easier said than done isn't it. Sunday I was in a complete and utter mess and thats when I got him over. I am still feeling well today - yes think of him but know I don't want to be with him. I get the pangs but they aren't the overwhelming despairing feeling i had before. All of which I am taking as good signs.

Lucky I have good family around me who can't stand him! However, I am embarrased to say that he didn't like any of my friends and I have barely seen them that much. Thankfully people I knew well could see what was happening and are just pleased I am away. Though probably thinking I will go back soon.

For me this tinder thing is as you say an ego boost and nice distraction and yes i know its probably not the right thing to do. but if it keeps me no contact then it is.

I had post natal depression so been on meds since then. Its always just been managed - until i met him that is!

Taking one day at a time and keeping myself busy
How ar you doing now?

Logg1e Tue 18-Mar-14 10:09:28

The problem with the Tinder thing is that it makes you look defined by your sexuality and availability.

BluBurd Tue 18-Mar-14 13:00:00

I know it's hard not to when in a state, I have had some real hard times where I have fought so hard to not get in contact but desperately wanted to.

There is life after these men OP. There were men before them and there will be men after them. Keep your friends and family close.

I am doing okay, my crisis team are very happy with my progress. I am focusing on learning to be on my own and be comfortable with it. Will be a very long time before I consider getting involved again.

Be strong OP, work on your self esteem and keep your self respect. I lost mine constantly begging him to take me back when I hadn't even done anything wrong.

newsandreviews Tue 18-Mar-14 14:02:45

oh now this is an epic fail
came out of work on lunch break and saw him. he;s coming over tonight

BluBurd Tue 18-Mar-14 14:06:00

Was he waiting for you?

newsandreviews Tue 18-Mar-14 14:31:26

No. and I was not where I usually work as we had a meeting in a local hotel.

BluBurd Tue 18-Mar-14 14:44:24

It's not going to work out, you know that don't you OP? Just today my crisis worker asked me what's stopping me getting back with my ex. Because it will never be a relationship that's good for me and neither will yours be. It might be okay for a few weeks but then it will go back to the way it always is. And you will be back to square one.

Trust me, I wish so badly my ex was the one for me. But he's not. Tell him not to come over. Look after your son and get yourself well. Once you are well if you still want him then, fair enough. But I doubt you will.

newsandreviews Tue 18-Mar-14 14:53:39

Blu, i am sure you are right but as I said to him today I just think what we do have (the good bits) are toooo good to throw away. sad

Really need to get myself a good counsellor!

I admire your strength Blu. Well done smile

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