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Quick questions about Twitter "stalker"

(19 Posts)
Frith1975 Sat 15-Mar-14 23:07:09

Sigh.

Having a few problems with my least favourite ex (we split up ages ago - nearly 2 years).

After going very quiet, I noticed he was following me on Twitter. So I blocked him immediately. Checked his profile the other day to see if he'd stopped posting weird stuff about me and, not only is he still posting insults, but they are about things on my Twitter page.

My questions is - if someone is blocked, can they still see your page? It's not great if that's the case!

swooosh Sat 15-Mar-14 23:11:32

Yes they can still see your page if they are using another account. Make your account private.

AnythingNotEverything Sat 15-Mar-14 23:12:46

I'm afraid so. Unless your profile is private, your twitter feed is available for all to see via any search engine.

IIRC Twitter's rules are really weasel like, but bits be worth checking if this counts as any kind of harassment.

Frith1975 Sat 15-Mar-14 23:14:00

Do you mean if he has another account set up or perhaps logs in as his son?

I don't want to stop using Twitter because of this clown - I've not long had a tweet from Boy George!

BreconBeBuggered Sat 15-Mar-14 23:17:47

He wouldn't have to log in at all - just look up your username. Might be worth making your tweets private, and unlocking them only if you want to tweet someone who doesn't already follow you.

BOFtastic Sat 15-Mar-14 23:23:33

You don't need to stop using a twitter, but you need to make your tweets private so they are only visible to your followers. And don't accept follow requests (which you will then get) from people you think might be him.

Frith1975 Sat 15-Mar-14 23:26:17

Thanks, everyone. Am now private! Blimey, he was an arse.

Seaofyou Sun 16-Mar-14 00:04:11

The thing with a stalker is if ŷou stop their channel of being abusive to you they tend to up the anti.
I read in one book that the victim should keep that telephone line open or mobile connected. Let the stalker feel they are doing damage even if it never gets read or heard. It keeps them thinking you are scared etc.
However if you block that communication they get angry and up the anti.

Sadly I read this book many years after I closed my emails, changed home and mobile all at the same time to stop the abusive emails and rows. Sadly that same month the attacks started on my house. The ex would stalk and wait for the opportunity and damage my home.
I had the cyber abuse too. That was vile too but police would not do anything as he never mentioned my or dc name even though ex RL name and photo was on the blog. It was really awful he got away with everything esp as I eventually had CCTV footage of him driving slowly past starring right into camera. Now that spooked me out!
My advice keep a communication channel for him to vent in letting him think he is getting at you. Never look at it and start a new twitter etc
Sadly in my experience police did nothing.

Frith1975 Sun 16-Mar-14 01:06:07

Sorry to hear that, Seaofyou.

My ex husband (we got divorced 2005) was VERY troublesome for a long, long time (as in about 8 years). In the end, the only way he could get to me was through the courts. So he would take me to court to change a day of summer holiday contact with sons etc.

I went out with this chump from 2011-2012 and he turned out to be the weirdest, most passive aggressive individual. Even my exh (very abusive) had a sense of humour and could be bothered to make me a cup of tea!

I don't think silly Twitter man will come round here purely because it is a 50 mile drive and he's lazy.

I could kick myself though because all the warning flags were there. Hated his ex wife (I liked her!), had had 10 relationships in the few years since divorcing her, but those exes were all "mad". Rude to his mother, unspeakably rude to shop assistants/postmen/anyone. Bad tempered driver, everything was someone else's fault.

Had remortgaged so many times it had gone up by £100,000, had other debts and was in trouble at work for bullying another (male) colleague but of course that was the other man's fault for being "mental".

Obviously on Twitter I have been described as "maniacal" too. :-/ I haven't seen him for nearly 2 years and haven't been in touch. I didn't even respond to the text he used to dump me, I just posted his stuff back.

Seaofyou Sun 16-Mar-14 09:00:21

Thanks Firth my ex could be still stalking the CCTV does the job to stop the damaging my property.
The trouble with stalking though is that even though it stops you don't actually know it has or will it start again.
The average stalking is 3-5 years. Mine was 5 years although the CCTV helped stop the attacking behaviour straight away. But the cyber bulling got worse for a while (again another channel to stalk when can't physically.
I laughed at this profile though esp with every ex was labelled mad I was labelled the psycho ex b* his ex before me was mad it's projection of his his own disordered nacopath mind!

BTW if you have Virgin on Monday on REALLY at 10pm a new programme on stalking is on. I think it is called 'Someone's watching me'. I am interested in what type of profile stalks.

My main advice is listen to your instinct it is possibly righ and in my case it saved my life with my ex on one day where he was spotted before the attack could happen by 2 witnesses thankfully. l

Seaofyou Sun 16-Mar-14 09:14:16

right*
I only showed the witnesses the photo of ex an hour earlier has had a nightmare night before ex broke in and slashed my throat and I bled to death in my hallway. I totally freaked out when the visitors who were also shaken up returned 5 minutes later to see ex sat in the car anxiously smoking and looking around. Ex spotted one visitor who was starring at him and he drove away fast. The other visitor tried to take a photo on her phone but was so shaking only got the kerb.
That day the police again did nothing, I was giving up at that point of 4 years of attacks and was now awaiting my fate tbh. The limbo I was in waiting for the next attack I had actually given up as nothing was being done and WA could not accommodate me with ds as disabled and MP wrote to council but they would do nothing as I was buying not renting my home.

Then the next attack 10 days or so later I think when he tried to unscrew the letterbox (it was sealed from inside by arson team but he broke that and it had to be double resealed), use a screwdriver to force door open the police then decided he was trying to get into the property and gave CCTV.

So please listen to your gut instinct it will save your life.

Before this post last few day my gut instinct has been heightened so I am on guard again. WHy I don't know but I always listen to it since that day!

str8tothepoint Sun 16-Mar-14 14:16:37

Make sure you take screenshots of his profile page where he names you as this is evidence for the police if they are ever needed

Don't message him as he will know he's got a reaction from you which is what he wants

LavenderGreen14 Sun 16-Mar-14 14:25:45

I agree - keep screenshots of everything he says about you, make your own profile private, and your facebook too if you have it. And do not respond at all.

PrivateBenjamin Sun 16-Mar-14 14:47:50

seaofyou that is horrifying. I can't even imagine how scared you must have been. I hope you're safe now.

Frith1975 Sun 16-Mar-14 15:52:10

Blimey, seaofyou. :-/

Well, twitter is private. He was blocked on Facebook many moons ago.

I made the mistake of having a look at his profile (or whatever you call it on Twitter). Turns out IMMEDIATELY after I private mine last night, it provoked a stream of more weirdness.

I am rarely named (sometimes referred to as "last ex") but I can tell the messages are for me. Today I am a maniac, hypocrite and it's "ironic" or some such.

Just have to remember never to look him up on Twitter again! It's odd because you feel like you need to know what he's writing in case it's "I'm just going to pop in to see my ex" or something.

Seaofyou Sun 16-Mar-14 16:40:17

I third the screen shots.
It's a bit like having Spiderman senses Frith LOL!
Interesting he moved on from FB then when blocked then Twitter.
Can I ask as he had another ex since you? Hopefully he will so his blame will move onto his next victim GF. My ex would start when another shorter relationship ended. I knew I was safe when he was loved up.

I'm ok PB thanks but it never ever leaves you although the PTSD typer hyper symptoms have settled now and I sleep and don't check the CCTV like I used too.

Oh Frith your ex will be able to tell you were looking from your IP address. I used to check ex's blog when I had a 'gut feeling' and 9/10 times correct. But I was feeding his stalking as he got the response me looking, him being in my thoughts and fear which = control. SO now a fellow MN who is very clever as can change her IP can check for me when I get a feeling!
I was told on here always have phone fully charged for night and by you when you sleep.

Be warned the stalking has gone to twitter from FB if you block him again his stalking may move on as his stalking is entrenched in his behaviours now. Look up revengeful stalker this is the type of stalker my ex is and I think yours is too!

Don't forget 'Someone's watching me' tomorrow at 10pm on REALLY (virgin)

Frith1975 Sun 16-Mar-14 21:49:16

I don't think this ex has had another girlfriend after me. (Though I find this surprising as in the 4 years between divorcing his wife and going out with me he went from one to the next).

Thanks for all the replies. I thought someone might write that a few weird Twitter updates was nothing to get excited about but I found it really unnerving.

Funny to see that he's peeved now he can't see me!

Seaofyou Sun 16-Mar-14 22:12:34

Sorry Frith I didnt mean to unnerve you. But it wasnt a few twitter messages...it was 2 years of it! He also hasnt moved on so actually this could be romantic stalker if he wants you back.
My situation far worse possibly because child and ex a total psychopath.
However this has been going on 2 years you say and yes he could have gone another 5 years happy to try and undermine and abuse you their. You closed down and he started on Twitter. 2-5 yrs is the average years of stalking. I do think mine would have continued or maybe still is who knows? I am just careful and have to live with CCTV. I am used to it now.
You will have to wait to see if he finds another way to communicate to you. But once I stopped written and phone the physical property attacks started. I feel you need to be aware so you can make a full judged decision on your way forward esp staying safe.
It is worrying he is angry he cant see you on the internet now.
you need to be aware this is not normal behaviour. This man is possibly mntally unstable like my ex.

Frith1975 Sun 16-Mar-14 22:22:56

No, you didn't unnerve me, Seaofyou. The twitter thing unnerved me and I was worried I would mention it here and someone would poo poo it as being very trivial. (But no on did).

For the first year after he left me, I heard literally nothing from him. I didn't really use Twitter when we were together. I started using it more and occasionally he would type something weird on his page in response to something I had written. I ignored it and only looked at his page every 3 months or so.

It has really kicked off since about Christmas time that about a third of his tweets mention me or are a cryptic opinion on something I have tweeted that day. Then he started following me and I blocked him (last month) at which point his tweets became a little less cryptic!

Ah well.

It reminds me I never did get my stuff back from his house - I think just some clothes and odds and ends.

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