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Is anyone else scared of their ex?

(5 Posts)
Popplecake Fri 14-Mar-14 15:52:15

I am really scared of my ex and don't know what to do to help my situation. We live in a small town and broke up because of his drug use and he hit me just after I had my baby (was just once). He then would not accept the relationship was over and was enjoying verbally bullying and controlling me so I went to a solicitor, CSA, etc.

Since then, I have not seen nor spoken to him. He has not seen baby . . but because he is a spiteful bully, he has been spreading rumours and lies about me in his part of our mutual workplace. In his version, I am an evil bitch who used him and now wont let him see his child!! I have no way of defending myself as I am still off and all his collagues will believe him anyway because he puts on such a good act sad

I'm not even going out of my house much at the moment because I am so scared of seeing him/his family or anyone from work because they are all poisoned against me when I am just protecting a baby and have done nothing wrong! He is always driving past where I live because it is so small so I feel I can't even go out alone sad

I am so concerned with how to get the truth out and also how to feel better and safe again. .

OurMiracle1106 Fri 14-Mar-14 16:04:28

Get a non molestation order to prevent him from keep passing your house

Email work. Explain the situation. And get a solicitor to write to him offering him contact at a centre (I don't doubt he will refuse it) but that way you can say well my solicitor offered him contact but he declined.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 14-Mar-14 16:07:40

No-one puts on that good an act. And the response to any man that goes around badmouthing the mother of his own child is 'wanker'... whatever they say to his face.

You don't have to defend or justify yourself to others. Leave it to your solicitor, the CSA and so forth. However, it is disturbing that your are too frightened to leave you home and that you fear reprisals. Were the police involved with the original assault? Suggest you contact the non-emergency number 101 and talk to the DV team. His behaviour is threatening and aggressive and they should warn him off.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Fri 14-Mar-14 16:08:10

Yes sad

Seaofyou Fri 14-Mar-14 17:22:47

Popplecake I do wonder if your ex is stalking you? You have picked up on it and sense it a 'gut' feeling. Contact the police on 101 every time he is driving past. It isn't an offence but I do wonder if he is trying to intimidate you other ways too.

I was stalked by my ex but my home was attacked too so in the end I was given CCTV by the police. I suggest you listen to your 'gut' instinct report the driving past. My ex used to park around the corner and their was a 6 inch gap between the hedge he could see my house. I didn't know about it for years until 2 visitors spotted him one day as they walked around the corner to the bus stop. I knwew my ex was stalking though as didn't even live in UK and had no reason to come near us as never saw his dc or paid CSA etc

All I know is that stalking usually gets worse they do a bit more as time goes on to try to intimidate.

Sorry repeated as just read Cognito said 101 too.
I had an attack alarm on my keyring for a long time. I too was frightened to leave my home incase he jumped out on me and would check leaving and returning it was safe and would go to bed with phone ready on 999 incase he attacked if I went to bed at all.

I feel for you Popple I do. Listen to your instincts and call the police that is what they are their for to protect you.

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