DP and I seperated last year for 3 months, I stayed in the house and he moved in with a friend. I went to see a solicitor during the seperation to find out if I had any rights to the house as I pay half of the mortgage and bills. She told me I had no claim on the house as all the bills are in his name and the mortgage and deeds are in his name only and unless the money I pay into his account specifially state what the money is for then I would lose in court if I tried to claim anything.
I have been wanting to talk to DP since we got back together about having my name added to the mortgage or deeds but I didn't know how to start the conversation.
Last night I spoke to him about it and told him that I felt that our relationship wasn't equal etc and that I wanted my name on the deeds or on the mortgage to protect myself financially and to feel like I'm getting somewhere in life e.g. paying towards a mortgage. I also suggested a joint bank account and joint names on the bills.
DP was stunned by this and said he didnt understand why I felt this way and said I'm luckier than most women as he deals with all the bills and the mortgage and I don't have to because he looks after me. To be honest this made me feel like a 1950's housewife! I work full time in the city and I feel like its time for me to be financially independent, at the momemt I may as well be a lodger paying towards room and board as I give him a set amount each month, I'm not paying off our mortgage its HIS mortgage and the situation just doesn't feel right.
My friends think that if he won't commit to having a mortgage with me then I should leave, are they right?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Name not on the mortgage
barkinginessex · 13/03/2014 14:00
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.