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I really need some advice - Seperating

(3 Posts)
Myfairone Thu 13-Mar-14 11:53:20

Hi all,
I know this may have been asked a thousand times before so please forgive me. I really need to ask some questions and hope that you can help.

My husband is an alcoholic and drug taker. I have been married to him for 9 years and we have a 6 year old son. I cannot take anymore. The abuse (emotional) has escalated and its affecting all of us.

I have asked him to leave and he has started to look at places but is being ridiculous as to what he can afford. I worked out using the child maintenance calculator how much he should give me each month and also included half the credit card payments (Stupidly all in my name).

He is now saying that he wants to give me less each month so he can afford a better place (WTF?!) SO he's happy for his son to go without so that he can live in a huge flat!
Trying to keep the anger at bay here. So we've gone from agreeing an amount to him now saying he wants to lower it. He goes between agreeing to pay and then 'changing his mind'.

Last night he said he wants me to sell the house (joint mortgage) as he needs the money. I don'tw ant to sell the house. I can afford it on my own and just want him out.

Can someone please advise the best way forward? I don't think I can legally change the locks can I?
Can he make me sell the house?
Can I have him sign anything to ensuer he pays me money each month?

Thank you all for your help in advance. This is stressful stuff isnt it. Not only the emotion of the seperation, dealing with his moods and irrational behaviour, telling my son, working, trying to keep my head up......feel like im drowning a little.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 13-Mar-14 12:06:52

You need to get legal advice fairly urgently and start the divorce process. CAB are very good and some solicitors will offer a free initial consultation that can be useful. Don't agree to anything drastic (like selling the house) until you've taken advice. Finance needs to be carefully worked through. In the meantime, keep telling him to move out and make life at home as uncomfortable as possible. Good luck

Rightallalong Thu 13-Mar-14 15:20:15

You won't be forced to sell the house I don't think.

It's your Son's home and a judge is likely to rule in your favour for you to stay there equity etc. is taken into account.

Get a solicitor. A good family solicitor can give you a snapshot of what is likely to happen if things get formal.

They will likely suggest mediation.

Good luck OP

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