Ok so dd is 12. I've been with my dh since she was 5 prior to that I was a LP to her and her much older brothers after my xh left me when she was 8months.
Her dad was pretty inconsistent with contact until I put my foot down and he now sees her every Sunday for a half hearted half a day along with his family of dp and two nearly three girls.
She looks forward to seeing them and I am very positive about it all.
She has really never been nice to dh.
He is an amazing step father. Comes for a. Loving close family and has really put time and effort into dd.
She rejects any attempts of kindness or conversation and is what I describe as "scathing and dismissive" it's as if he makes her cringe and she appears to hate him.
Despite this he has continued to be steadfast in her life.
He always makes an attempt to chat to her and ask her about her day etc.Hes the one who will be in the sea mucking about while I'm sunbathing on holiday.
He helps her with her homework even if she's being rude to him all the way through.
We have a little girl of 3 and as was delighted when she was born and adores her.
Dh was very careful not to leave dd1 out and went out of his way to make her feel included.
After she was born and dh and dd went home he even made a little bed up in our room so that dd1 could sleep up with him as it was late and obviously it had been a long exciting day.
It pains me to watch how she treats him.
My sons and my mum have all spoken to her about it.
I have stay her down countless times and spoken about it, all she says is "he winds me up" or "I'll try to be nicer"
Personally I think dh is too soft with her and that is why she has no respect for him.
As time goes by I can see this is affecting the whole family.
Last night for the first time he and I rowed about it.
She was off school with a headache but he had let her have her I pad all day (which I wouldn't have) and told her that I'd be back form work at 6 and she'd probably have to turn it off then wtf?
Later she kicked him while we were all sitting on the sofa (I have no idea why, it was weird) so he challenged her on it and she was cocky.
So I turned off the tv and told her to go to bed (it was nearly bedtime) she started with the crying and saying no but I just repeated to go to bed and went into the kitchen.
I could hear dh saying "go to bed, come on you've been told" which did sound quite goady which just made her worse and after she'd gone up I said to him that I thought he was winding her up (although I can see why)
So he got really angry and shouted at me, this is literally the first time in 7 yrs I've seen him lose his temper.
Dd would of heard this as she was above us in her room.
He apologised later but I now feel we have reached the point that we need to seriously tackle this.
Any suggestions would be welcomed, I'm desperate.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Need help with dd and dh really need to change this
Ledkr · 12/03/2014 08:11
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.