I'll start by saying that we've been together for over two years and known each other for longer. We have a great relationship, he's fantastic with the kids and they love him , all is well and I'm really looking forward to living with him. We've spent a long time gradually getting to this point and the time is now right so we've bought a house together and it's a big change for all of us!
I'm easy going and so is he. But I've been on my own now ( as in , not living with anyone ) for 7 odd years and I'm set in my ways. Will it be really weird to have another person to get used to? Their little ways ( he goes to bed earlier than me for example and is up at 6am ... I'm already imagining my inward groaning as he leaps in the shower then and it's still another 90 minutes until I get up! ) ... I suppose I'm just a little apprehensive as well as looking forward to it.. Can anyone relate?
We've talked lots about how we will pay for stuff ( we are going to pool our money and have equal spends ) , our expectations and whatnot and we get along really well.
I'm just ... Nervous at the big change coming I think. Might have to re think my once a week habit of lying in bed cramming my face with chocolate and chucking the wrappers on the floor
Anyone else moved in with a partner when they're in their 40s? What made the transition easy for you ?
It's a pretty bloody scary thing to do at any age, and must be even worse when you have dc!
It's a big step, and it's completely normal to be a bit freaked out at the idea even if it is something you really want. Fwiw now DH and I were together for 7 years before moving in together, and even though I was sure and we'd just got engaged, it was pretty chuffing scary.
But, if you've got a good relationship underneath the fear then there is absolutely no reason to be nervous (easier said than done!) Hope you can relax and enjoy it for the hugely exciting time that it is
You're right fox! I must stop being a twat and feeling slightly anxious and enjoy it! We've bought an amazing house together and he's coming to stay with me in my rented house until we've completed- hopefully just be another month or so.
He's due to move in on Friday and we've gradually been moving his stuff here. Feels weird to see his rug on my floor and his kettle in my kitchen ( although as he has Dualit stuff and mine is rubbish, I'm liking that! )
We have spent a lot of time together too - we see each other five nights a week and he stays over / I stay at his every weekend. So it'll not be too much of a change but it will mean him suddenly being with me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.
For someone who said they'd never live with a man again - this is quite something!
He's having no such internal dramas. I asked him what he was most looking forward to about us living together and he just says ' oh spending more time with you darling ! ' but I just know he's not actually given it a tenth of the thought that I have
Fox - I've been careful to try and get it right this time! We started off slowly , just dating. He casually met the kids after six or so months. No declarations of love for 7 months . He first stayed over after about a year and then we had a holiday with the kids. He gradually started doing more for them ( lifts, taking them out alone if I am working ) and we just built it up slowly. I hope that that makes the difference this time.
You said in your 00:33 post that deciding to live with a man again is quite something. Your instinct, I am sure, will be telling you that this one is a good un - it's a big step, but you've taken things slowly and it sounds like you've been perfectly sensible.
Yep - I've put 8000 miles on my car since I got it in November
We've also been though a few weeks that could have been sticky, and just weren't! He's very easy to be with, and we just sort of suit. Also, we went on holiday together, and I didn't get irritated by him once. This is previously unheard of
Good luck to you too Goldfish - he sounds like a keeper!
Finances are sorted, neither of us are that bothered about money - we earn around the same and will split the bills from a joint account, leftover money is ours to play with - but he's already said he'll be the one funding treats, as I have more expenses with the DC. He's very generous to them already. I have no worries there.
Housework has been discussed - if you want it done, do it, is the theory! But if ether of us is feeling put upon, or fed up with an area, we'll just say so. We both work full time, and getting a cleaner looks likely tbh.
It's lovely having a relationship with a grown up human male. A shock to find they do exist too!
Well we've not needed to discuss housework in any depth because we are both exactly the same in that respect. He's super tidy and so am I ! We both love a bit of cleaning.
WRT finances, he earns more than me. We've discussed this in detail and have agreed to put it all in one pot, so to speak ( we will keep separate accounts also ) .. All bills will be paid from this pot - everything , to include our gym memberships to petrol for both cars , food etc. we've over budgeted everything . And what is left will be split in half for us to spend as we want individually. He's generous and we've agreed that we're a family and a team and that's what is going to work best for us
I think it's important to be adaptable to other ideas and different ways of doing things. You've done things one way for years. So has he. Some of those ways will be different and you have to let each other get on with it.